Mean 4 Year Olds

[kitkat]

My group consists of DCB4, DCG4, and DCG3 (will be 4 in 5 weeks). DCG3 is new this year. The other 2 have been with me for 2+ years. DCG3 has definitely thrown off the dynamics we had going on. She is a handful. Things started to get mean when she started. Once the other 2 turned 4 though, it got worse. Some of the behaviors I see are: ignoring each other, toy taking (DCG3), getting a toy just so the other can't, standing at the top of the climber so the others can't go up, etc.

I've switched out toys thinking they were bored, but it seemed to make it worse. For example, I brought up a table & chairs and I had to take away the chairs because 2 of the kids were obsessed over who got the one red chair. After I removed the chairs, they then started to obsess over who stood by what color on the table supports! Toys that are being obsessed over get removed for a while. I feel like all I'm doing is redirecting and it's not improving.

I've never had a group like this. This group also has a hard time with copying. If they are playing together and one stops, they all stop and then have to do what the other one is doing. I know this is a phase, but when will it end? Any tips to get through it?

[debbiedoeszip]

My group consists of DCB4, DCG4, and DCG3 (will be 4 in 5 weeks). DCG3 is new this year. The other 2 have been with me for 2+ years. DCG3 has definitely thrown off the dynamics we had going on. She is a handful. Things started to get mean when she started. Once the other 2 turned 4 though, it got worse. Some of the behaviors I see are: ignoring each other, toy taking (DCG3), getting a toy just so the other can't, standing at the top of the climber so the others can't go up, etc.

I've switched out toys thinking they were bored, but it seemed to make it worse. For example, I brought up a table & chairs and I had to take away the chairs because 2 of the kids were obsessed over who got the one red chair. After I removed the chairs, they then started to obsess over who stood by what color on the table supports! Toys that are being obsessed over get removed for a while. I feel like all I'm doing is redirecting and it's not improving.

I've never had a group like this. This group also has a hard time with copying. If they are playing together and one stops, they all stop and then have to do what the other one is doing. I know this is a phase, but when will it end? Any tips to get through it?

I see these behaviours also, but in my 2yos (and sometimes the 5yo older brother of one - especially "obsessing" about who got what colour, or whether he got his preferred colour). What I do is stand near the slide and "direct traffic". If a toy is taken then I make the child give back and if it's persistent then I have them play away from the others. Ditto for taking a toy another was about to pick up or play with. As for the copying, I'd just let them. They will likely become bored with being "sheep" on their own LOL.

If they are complaining about the others, what colour they got or he got, or over what toy he wanted and didn't get, what I do is tell the complainer that they will be removed from the activity if they keep complaining or that they will not be allowed to play with the object they are obsessing over. I tell them that they need to play peacefully (ie, no bitching and complaining or whining, ).

[debbiedoeszip]

I do also want to say that other than the whining or complaining, this all sounds like normal social development (especially the copying). If they aren't hurting anyone or anything, then just ignore.