Obnoxious/Everything Is Funny

[debbiedoeszip]

So my newest kiddo is what I would call an entertainer. Hes the youngest in his family, he really is cute, and he's been in the care of grandma/grandpa/auntie while mom was looking for childcare.

He's got some behaviors that don't mean well with the group, however. Everything has to be funny and a joke to him. He does wrong choices like open doors without permission, going into other people's cubbies, and he smiles at you like you're supposed to be laughing. He does things that are annoying - making noises in the kids faces, playfully knocking down their block buildings, etc...And continues with a little smile as they insist he stop or try to move away.

At lunch today, he was chewing with his mouth wide open and making OM NOM NOM noises. Every time I'd ask him to stop/chew quietly he'd go "What am I doing? OM NOM. What noises? NOM NOM SMACK." He didn't stop until I warned that he was about to lose his plate.

He gets a lot of privileges taken away because he doesn't stop after I give him a couple redirections and chances to fix it. I wanna nip this - any advice?

I don't normally use or advocate time outs, but in his case it might be appropriate. Basically, you need to take away his audience, and removing him from the group/table might do that. He's the kid who, in my elementary school days, would either spend the day sitting next to the teacher or out in the hall.

[Hunni Bee]

I wouldn't give him any chances. He knows he's being obnoxious and doing it anyway. I would lay out the expectations when he arrives and whenever he strays he loses a privilege without warning. BC's structure of having big kid and little kid activities works well in my home. The big kids get to do awesome fun elaborate activities and have the best toys and little kid activities aren't as fun. When he acts out he's being a little kid. How sad for him!

That was my thought to. Thanks for the affirmation.

[Hunni Bee]

I don't normally use or advocate time outs, but in his case it might be appropriate. Basically, you need to take away his audience, and removing him from the group/table might do that. He's the kid who, in my elementary school days, would either spend the day sitting next to the teacher or out in the hall.

He is genuinely confused when he gets time away, loses a privilege, etc. I don't think he's ever really had to deal with consequences, even though he knows some of his behaviors aren't unacceptable, kwim?

[Ariana]

He is genuinely confused when he gets time away, loses a privilege, etc. I don't think he's ever really had to deal with consequences, even though he knows some of his behaviors aren't unacceptable, kwim?

I have a similar child. I have no clue how their household works because he seems genuinely confused by rules and consequences! Lol. I find that stating the expectation and following through with the consequence works best. Constant repetition.

[debbiedoeszip]

He is genuinely confused when he gets time away, loses a privilege, etc. I don't think he's ever really had to deal with consequences, even though he knows some of his behaviors aren't unacceptable, kwim?

You still need to have boundaries (consequences when he's too silly or bugging the others). He will figure it out in time (or grow up/out of it). Most of my consequences are logical. If you're bugging others then you will be required to stay away from the others for a while. Then you will have the chance to show that you will not bug them any more. If you bug them again then away with you for another period of time. It's "fair" in that the others are deserving of time spent without being pestered or bothered. If he's making it so that the others can't/won't eat lunch then he'll need to eat separately. They have a right to eat lunch in peace.

[Unregistered]

DayCare I loved your post on observing and problem solving. I saved that!

I agree....he may be trying to connect. His social skills are off track. But, yes it's important to try to figure what he's getting out of this behavior....why it's working for him.


I also would set up expectations every morning upon arrival and explain why and what consequences will be in simple terms.

There would also be simple discussion on the rule - If a friend says STOP you stop. Also a very simple discussion between friends on how it's making them feel when he knocks down their tower...short and sweet tho...too many words backfire!

If he was obnoxious to friends .....in their faces, knocking down structures ( to the extreme) I'd have him at table time choices as a consequence.

I've also sat down with the child and help him re-build the tower with his friend. Modeling appropriate, positive and rewarding interactions!

Hopefully DayCare's observation ideas would also help along with setting up expectations each morning.