Flag Or Not A Flag....This Is The Question

[daycare]

I have several kids going off to kinder. Some are leaving at the start of summer, so I have been interviewing some families that have been on my wait list.

One family has been waiting for about a year to enroll, met with the dcm, she is amazing.

Tells me child is not doing so well at current place and that it's too academic based, needs something play based more like what we do.

So we move on to the next step, which is the come for a 30 min meet and greet circle time.

The child was like most kids are when they come. A little crazy and just disrupted everyone. Totally expected.

Here is where I question if this is a red flag or not.

DCM says they love the program and want to move forward.
In an email sent DCM says, "Do you think my child is a good fit for your program?"

When I read that, all I could think of is that the mom is doubtful that this is the right fit for her child and that I should move on.

Do you think that is a red flag or not? I did already respond to the parent, but I am not 100% sure I want to move forward and offer the spot.

[Blackcat31]

In an email sent DCM says, "Do you think my child is a good fit for your program?"

"Based on the small amount of time I was able to visit with you/your child, I can not answer that just yet. However, I would be willing to offer you a trial period of x weeks. After this time period, if your child is a good fit for our program a permanent contract for enrollment will be offered. If he is not a good fit, we will discuss the options at that time."


My thoughts are that mom may have been embarrassed by her child's rowdy or crazy behavior so she naturally assumes that you might immediately think he isnt a good fit and she is maybe just putting it out there now verses tap dancing around it.

Personally, I like parents that are blunt and straight to the point.

[daycare]

"Based on the small amount of time I was able to visit with you/your child, I can not nawer that just yet. However, I would be willing to offer you a trial period of x weeks. After this time period, if your child is a good fit for our program a permanent contract for enrollment will be offered. If he is not a good fit, we will discuss the options at that time."


My thoughts are that mom may have been embarrassed by her child's rowdy or crazy behavior so she naturally assumes that you might immediately think he isnt a good fit and she is maybe just putting it out there now verses tap dancing around it.

Personally, I like parents that are blunt and straight to the point.

That's a good point. The mom did try to correct his behavior a few times when he started climbing up on things.

I guess I just can't help but hear, not doing well at current school and then asking that question.

But what you mentioned brings truth to her being straight forward which I wish all parents had the strait.

[racemom]

Also, it maybe if he is having issues at his current location, and he was rowdy at the meeting, she is feeling insecure. I can see myself questioning my parenting and child, thinking nobody will want him if the current daycare is not working, and so asking to find out if you "like" us. Kwim?

[TheMisplacedMidwestMom]

I see this more as you're reading way too much into the question. The point of the meet and greet was to see if he could attend your program. Mom is just looking for feedback and your decision.

[daycare]

I see this more as you're reading way too much into the question. The point of the meet and greet was to see if he could attend your program. Mom is just looking for feedback and your decision.

Lol
You know me well. I do tend to read into things too much

[jenboo]

Maybe mom doesn't want to bounce him around from place to place so she wants to make sure it's a good fit before enrolling.

[daycare]

My assistants are freaking out about the child... HOWEVER, they are not normally present at the interview process and we don't normally see kids act in that way.

I guess I saw it as the mom saying: You saw how crazy my kid is, do you think you can handle him, because the current school can't.

the child is 4. I may have to go with my gut on this one......
BUT I do agree with you all that the mother may be saying this for the very reasons you all suggested.

[Mom2Two]

"Based on the small amount of time I was able to visit with you/your child, I can not answer that just yet. However, I would be willing to offer you a trial period of x weeks. After this time period, if your child is a good fit for our program a permanent contract for enrollment will be offered. If he is not a good fit, we will discuss the options at that time."


My thoughts are that mom may have been embarrassed by her child's rowdy or crazy behavior so she naturally assumes that you might immediately think he isnt a good fit and she is maybe just putting it out there now verses tap dancing around it.

Personally, I like parents that are blunt and straight to the point.

[Ariana]

Agree with BlacKCat! It sounds like the mom is sounding nervous about you thinking her kids are crazy!

The last family I signed told me flat our that her kids were crazy and she was worried they would drive me crazy. She said her daughter was "spicey" haha! The kids are definitely a handful but I am glad she made me expect it and when I saw them at the interview I didn't think they were over the top, just a little more "outgoing" which I personally like

[CityGarden]

Not sure why, it could be the cold meds, but this thread had me laughing out loud! ::

I agree, you have to go with whatever your guts says. Too often I feel we don't listen to our gut and it comes to bite us.

That said, Mom could just want/need reassurance... it can be nervous as a parent to have your child "interview" and "be judged". I am not saying that is what any of you do nor how you present it but when I went thru applying to private Kindergarten with my dd that was how I felt as a parent, especially if your child is not on their "best". My parents still tell stores about how my grown brother acted a butt on a preschool tour and did not get in.

[MOM OF 4]

As a provider-turned- parent (), I always told parents the interview was to get questions answered, see my place, me to meet kids, and that I would take 24 hours to "decide" which families would fit best in program. Perhaps, she has interviewed daycares that have a similar interview process and she wanted to get final yes or no answer? Also, the craziest kids at interview, tended to be least problematic in care when parents were NOT present. Kids kinda act nuts in front of their parents and try to "show off". Usually they settle down a week or 2 after figuring out the rules. Kids r weirdos and it does NOT get easier or less weird when they're older. Lol

[CityGarden]

As a provider-turned- parent (), I always told parents the interview was to get questions answered, see my place, me to meet kids, and that I would take 24 hours to "decide" which families would fit best in program. Perhaps, she has interviewed daycares that have a similar interview process and she wanted to get final yes or no answer? Also, the craziest kids at interview, tended to be least problematic in care when parents were NOT present.

This has been my experience as well both in this business as well as in my volunteer work.

[trix23]

I don't think it's a red flag but that's me.

[spedmommy4]

My assistants are freaking out about the child... HOWEVER, they are not normally present at the interview process and we don't normally see kids act in that way.

I guess I saw it as the mom saying: You saw how crazy my kid is, do you think you can handle him, because the current school can't.

the child is 4. I may have to go with my gut on this one......
BUT I do agree with you all that the mother may be saying this for the very reasons you all suggested.

I agree that it sounds like she was trying to get a feel for whether or not you were concerned about it. If what mom says is true (about the other program being more academic) you may find that he doesn't demonstrate them with you. I had a kiddo last year who had extreme behaviors when he was at school in his morning transitional Kindergarten class; however, he was good for me in the afternoons. (My program was play based) The structure at such a young age is just overwhelming for some kids and they respond by acting out.