Should I Move My 3 Year Old To Home Daycare?

[Jinry]

I have a decision to make that is rather difficult and I need some advice. I'm the single dad of a 3-year-old and a 1.5-year-old. The day care center that they are currently enrolled in is canceling their program for those that are less than 2.5 years of age. This means my daughter can no longer attend the program but my son can. One of the teachers that worked there (and has been the teacher to my son) has offered to take one or both of my children in her home. My question is whether or not I should move my 3-year-old son into her home or to keep him in the daycare program that he's currently in. A few factors to consider:

1. The home daycare will NOT have any children that are my son's age there
2. The home daycare is considerably cheaper than the program he's currently in.
3. My kids have only been in this program for 3 weeks.
4. Their mother and I are currently going through a divorce and I'm concerned about moving him out of the place where he's gotten comfortable.

If you could offer any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

[Blackcat31]

I have a decision to make that is rather difficult and I need some advice. I'm the single dad of a 3-year-old and a 1.5-year-old. The day care center that they are currently enrolled in is canceling their program for those that are less than 2.5 years of age. This means my daughter can no longer attend the program but my son can. One of the teachers that worked there (and has been the teacher to my son) has offered to take one or both of my children in her home. My question is whether or not I should move my 3-year-old son into her home or to keep him in the daycare program that he's currently in. A few factors to consider:

1. The home daycare will NOT have any children that are my son's age there
2. The home daycare is considerably cheaper than the program he's currently in.
3. My kids have only been in this program for 3 weeks.
4. Their mother and I are currently going through a divorce and I'm concerned about moving him out of the place where he's gotten comfortable.

If you could offer any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

What were your original reasons for choosing a center verses choosing in home care in the first place?

Also, if you did keep your older child in the center would you plan to move the younger one there after they meet the age requirements?

Did the center know they were going to be changing the age requirements when you signed on with them? If the kids have only been there for 3 weeks, I don't understand how the center would have made this decision in such a small amount of time.

The staff member that is leaving to open her own care....is she licensed already or not required to be?

I have to wonder how the center feels about this staff person enrolling current center clients.... (if you possibly move both your kids out of the center).

Being in this business for as long as I have, I know I can be jaded about certain things but this one feels a bit off...almost like the center has a bit more going on they aren't saying up front. I don't know...just thinking out loud.

[Pestle]

It can be positive to get individualized attention; make sure the day care provider is experienced with this age group (looks like she is), has age-appropriate learning materials, and will stick to a schedule that's good for your child--reading, art, outdoor play, gross and fine motor skill lessons, etc.

It'll then become you and your ex's responsibility to provide play dates or attend meetups in order to keep your 3yo plugged into a social group. That's fine, as long as you're willing and able to set aside a block of time every weekend for it.

One thing that can make or break this is your ex's openness to this day care--true of wherever you end up enrolling. Has she also interviewed with the care provider? Is she going to be sharing custody, and if so, is she invested in making this a healthy and lasting care situation--is she good for on-time drop offs and pick ups and on-time payment?

[Unregistered]

What were your original reasons for choosing a center verses choosing in home care in the first place?

Our original reason for choosing the daycare center was availability. We live in a rural area and it is incredibly difficult to find a daycare (home or center) that will take a 1-year-old. It might just be our area but we searched for a solid month before this place happened to have an opening.

Also, if you did keep your older child in the center would you plan to move the younger one there after they meet the age requirements?

We would probably move our one-year-old into the same facility as her brother when she met the age requirement next summer.

Did the center know they were going to be changing the age requirements when you signed on with them? If the kids have only been there for 3 weeks, I don't understand how the center would have made this decision in such a small amount of time.

Being in this business for as long as I have, I know I can be jaded about certain things but this one feels a bit off...almost like the center has a bit more going on they aren't saying up front. I don't know...just thinking out loud.

Honestly, a lot of what is going on here seems fishy to me. The daycare administrators are telling me that they had no idea that this was going to happen. The facility is run by the church next door and evidently, the leaders there made the decision. I really don't know what's going on but I do know that a lot of kids are having to leave and a lot of the staff is being let go.

The staff member that is leaving to open her own care....is she licensed already or not required to be?

I'm not sure if the teacher that is making the offer is licensed or not and I'm not sure if she has to be. I live in the state of TN and she would only be taking care of my two kids, her own two kids, and one other.

I have to wonder how the center feels about this staff person enrolling current center clients.... (if you possibly move both your kids out of the center).

The center's administration were the ones that suggested that I look into the teachers that would no longer be working there. I'm not sure if they thought through me possibly taking my son out or not but they even offered to give me phone numbers that I could call.

[Blackcat31]

Our original reason for choosing the daycare center was availability. We live in a rural area and it is incredibly difficult to find a daycare (home or center) that will take a 1-year-old. It might just be our area but we searched for a solid month before this place happened to have an opening.

Makes sense! Care for kids under age 2 in my area is super hard to find too! Im in MN.

We would probably move our one-year-old into the same facility as her brother when she met the age requirement next summer.

My advice (if you use the in home provider for the next year) is to consider moving the older one out of the center instead. (reasoning in comments below)

Honestly, a lot of what is going on here seems fishy to me. The daycare administrators are telling me that they had no idea that this was going to happen. The facility is run by the church next door and evidently, the leaders there made the decision. I really don't know what's going on but I do know that a lot of kids are having to leave and a lot of the staff is being let go.

This paragraph ^^^^ says THE most. The center obviously has something going on and isn't being completely transparent about it. Not that they are required to do so but the "sudden" change would be a red flag to me.

Will the center still be operational in a years's time?
Will they have more "surprise" changes over the next year?

If they ARE being dishonest about something, I just can't manage/deal with that. I believe a child's experiences the first 5 yrs of their life impacts the person they will be more than any other time in their life and a center that is less than honest, has "surprise" changes and "feels off" isn't somewhere I would want my child to be. Ethical and moral behavior is learned via role modeling more than anything...kwim?

I'm not sure if the teacher that is making the offer is licensed or not and I'm not sure if she has to be. I live in the state of TN and she would only be taking care of my two kids, her own two kids, and one other.

Here is the regulations for TN

https://www.daycare.com/tennessee/

The center's administration were the ones that suggested that I look into the teachers that would no longer be working there. I'm not sure if they thought through me possibly taking my son out or not but they even offered to give me phone numbers that I could call.

That makes sense since they are letting staff go.
Personally I LIKE the fact that the teacher offering you space has only a couple kids...that means a lot more individualized care and attention and since your kids are going through a change in their home life, this might counteract any negative fall out very well.

[Mike]

I would suggest that as long as the teacher will be operating legally (licensed or unlicensed), let her take both of them. They will still be with someone they know and will still be together. The center does sound like something I'd be wary of.

[Ariana]

Agree with BlackCat and Mike. Another thing to consider is having siblings together is HUGELY important in my opinion. Don't have them in seperate care especially during this difficult time in your personal lives.

[Pepperth]

I would suggest that as long as the teacher will be operating legally (licensed or unlicensed), let her take both of them. They will still be with someone they know and will still be together. The center does sound like something I'd be wary of.

I agree with Mike.

[CityGarden]

I would keep the children together - especially given the red flags from the center and the divorce.

Honestly the teacher will likely not be licensed yet however make sure to ask if she is actively going to become licensed (it can take a few months in my state of CA) and make sure she plans to operate legally unlicensed until she is licensed. Educate yourself to know what the laws are in terms of numbers. Nothing is wrong with being unlicensed especially given that she had a job and very little if any notice herself that this was coming..... I would just have in my contract that she will be licensed by ___________ or you can void the contract and maybe give the provider 6 months, IF that is important to you. If not then I would ask her to add to the contact she will take no more than X kids since intent is to remain legally unlicensed. I will add that you NEED her to be legal (that could be licensed or not but legal) as if she is not it could be used as a reflection of your judgement when in court.

I can tell you the children in my care (I can keep a max of 6 per licensing) have made huge leaps in terms of social and verbal development, they get personalized attention, parents also get personal feedback much more often than when I worked in a classroom / center setting. There are perks too - we go on outings to the park daily, I send parent updates daily and I provide 1-2 snacks daily. Some providers provide meals (breakfast/lunch/snack) which parents seem to really appreciate.

[knoxmomof2]

I'm in TN- you can care for 4 children without needing a license. (That is the number of children I keep.)

As long as you have a good sense about this person and her abilities, I would do as others have suggested and just make the move now with both children - as long as your ex is on board.

[daycare]

Wow sorry your dealing with this.
Being a parent of divorced children, I would do whatever I could to keep my children together. Loss is hard for children and having one another will make things easier on them.

Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.