DCP's Hinting At Potty Training - The Nope

[childcaremom]

Here is mine.
I would smile when they mention it again.
"That's awesome Dad! I hope you guys really made a biggdeal about the success. Here's a copy of my toileting policy. If you have any questions just let me know. "
And share your policy.


Potty Learning Policy::
Knit/jersey pants/shorts during transition. (Leggings or sweatpants are best) No belts, buckles, jeans or bibbed overalls. Undies under diaper or pull-up. Not on top. If child has an accident during the two-week transition time, we simply start a new two week period. I do not fuss at or shame a child for having an accident. We just clean up the mess and move on with our day. If child is accident-free for two weeks, we remove diaper/pull-up during play and wear only during nap. After a month or so of dry naps we let them sleep diaper/pull-up free and I place a fleece blanket under their cots at nap until I stop worrying about accidents.*

Mine is very close to this. I have a month no accidents, though, and that moving to just underwear is at my discretion. I have never used a full month but it's there if I need it.

I also have it added that while I will encourage the child to try at our normal transition times, that I will not take the child to the potty (so on a timer or at intervals other than our transitions) unless the child verbally tells me that they need to go. In other words, parents do the training at home and I do the follow up in care.

[CityGarden]

I do!

Here is my potty training section from my handbook:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

You rock!!! lovethis

[Ariana]

Not pertaining to this particular situation.

But I have a son, 17 months in daycare full time. He says several words but for the most part is non verbal and communicates by pointing, but he understands a lot of what I say to him and follows directions.

At home I ask him every so often if he has to go potty. He shakes his head yes or no. When he tells me yes, I remove his diaper, set him on the potty and he will go 100% of the time (when he tells me yes). At home he will bring me his potty ring to "tell me" he has to go.

Is it unreasonable for me to ask daycare to ask him if he has to go potty when they ask the other kids even though he is so little? Or do they normally just wait until the kids are doing more for themselves

Typically a child who is potty trained will ask to go to the toilet. If he is not asking to go but responds when you ask him if he has to go then he is not potty trained in my experience. Kids who are potty trained ask to go and will not go in their diaper or pull up at all. You can always ask the daycare if they would mind taking him if he asks. Asking a child if he needs to go is not normal practice.

[Blackcat31]

Thank you Blackcat! I will very closely look at yours and mine and tighten mine up. The Last few times I had a problem with potty training with parents and what I'll allow here, and changed my policies to add the 2-week no accidents then underwear, but Obviously something it lacking... I'm not bending, but parents seem to think I will if they agree to my policies and then I enroll their child it's like a bait and switch.

I've even had the "my child is potty trained" at interview and I make sure to ask "do they need any help with potting?'and I'm told "No" they fill out my forms and under 'is your child potty trained?' They put yes even when there's a lot of room for them to wright "needs help with wiping or help with clothes"

This is where it's super helpful and important to have the "Your child's behavior at daycare will NOT be the same as it is at home." conversation. Doing so REALLY helps parents understand when the time comes and they SEE that IS the way it is for most kids.

Then when I leave the children to do it, the parents then come back with "why is my child not being cleaned properly??"
Me: What? "Your child needs to know how to do that him/herself. I will check if needed but not every time. If that is the case, they are not trained."
Them: why are you not helping Snowflake in the bathroom?
Me: because you told me they were completely potty trained? And didn't need help in the bathroom. I even asked Snowflake if they needed help the first week and they said no. You never said anything.
Trained means they do not require assistance on a regular basis. If they need help more than they do not, they are not trained.
Them: Snowflake is not allowed to wipe themselves at home, they're not ready for that, that's your job, and they need help pulling up their undies and pants. Why has Snowflake been telling me you're not helping her?
Me: you told me she was 'completely potty trained'
Them: they are! They go in the potty!
"It is NOT part of my job but I will happily do so if necessary, however that kind of individual attention will require additional staff members. The fee for this individual service is $50 per day. When would you like me to start this service?"

I guess this is more how do you deal with parents that lie about child and agreeing to policies but then turning around and arguing and breaking policies after they are enrolled and passed the 2 week period?

Basically, I just "play along" and agree to give them the services they want BUT for a cost. Once they see how much it costs them, they suddenly change their tune.

I've just been either terminating or letting them term after I make it clear that I will not bend.

If it does come to that ^^ then I view it as clients that should never have signed on in the first place.

I answered in red above too!

[daycarediva]

Not pertaining to this particular situation.

But I have a son, 17 months in daycare full time. He says several words but for the most part is non verbal and communicates by pointing, but he understands a lot of what I say to him and follows directions.

At home I ask him every so often if he has to go potty. He shakes his head yes or no. When he tells me yes, I remove his diaper, set him on the potty and he will go 100% of the time (when he tells me yes). At home he will bring me his potty ring to "tell me" he has to go.

Is it unreasonable for me to ask daycare to ask him if he has to go potty when they ask the other kids even though he is so little? Or do they normally just wait until the kids are doing more for themselves

I start kids at 18m, and a great many of my kids that started at that age with me, are potty trained before or around 2. I only have ONE 18mo at a time. They are changed ON the potty, every 2 hours, more often than not they start to go when we use the restroom. I ask in between if anyone needs to go potty, and when they say they do, they go.

I found that the later a parent waits to potty train, the harder it is. I don't need full verbal ability, as long as the child can communicate the need to go. If it's pointing at the bathroom door, cool.

and no pullups, diapers are easy enough and less expensive. I can change a kid standing up in 10 seconds in a diaper, in a pullup that requires clothing removal and is much more time consuming. ::

[lovemykidstoo]

Typically a child who is potty trained will ask to go to the toilet. If he is not asking to go but responds when you ask him if he has to go then he is not potty trained in my experience. Kids who are potty trained ask to go and will not go in their diaper or pull up at all. You can always ask the daycare if they would mind taking him if he asks. Asking a child if he needs to go is not normal practice.

That is exactly my opinion. I'm in the process of training 2 boys that will both be 3 next month. If I set them on the toilet, they go. If I don't, they go in their pants. We have the talk every single day about them telling me they have to go. They don't. Then parents get here and hear that they went on the toilet and they hoop and holler, yippee etc. Well, don't get too excited, I would fully expect an almost 3 yr old to pee when you set them on the toilet. It's really not that big of an accomplishment. That does not mean that they're trained. I have a 2 week, accident free rule before underwear comes into the picture. That is 2 weeks, them telling me 100% of the time, accident free before underwear. This could take awhile

[Denali]

I start kids at 18m, and a great many of my kids that started at that age with me, are potty trained before or around 2. I only have ONE 18mo at a time. They are changed ON the potty, every 2 hours, more often than not they start to go when we use the restroom. I ask in between if anyone needs to go potty, and when they say they do, they go.

I found that the later a parent waits to potty train, the harder it is. I don't need full verbal ability, as long as the child can communicate the need to go. If it's pointing at the bathroom door, cool.

and no pullups, diapers are easy enough and less expensive. I can change a kid standing up in 10 seconds in a diaper, in a pullup that requires clothing removal and is much more time consuming. ::

See I find pullups have a use. Normally when I keep hearing the "we want to start potty training" "Snowflake is ready to start potty training!" it means "we want you to start potty training and we'll kind of do it at home if at all" I come back with "great! Please make sure to bring pullups so we can start assisting here!"

Usefully... that stops the wanting me to do all the work. Because now it costs the parents something and they don't want to fork out that kind of $$ when they aren't doing it at home, because you know, it takes longer if not everyone is working on it and they know it....

I have found that when they happily provide pullups is when the parent is seriouse about potty training their child. They are putting their money where their mouth is, and I feel like it'll be worth my time because they are putting their time in at home.

When I get the ones that want to go straight to underwear... they are the hard ones. When I say pullups they act like I'm trying to derail their child's potty success and that I'm not working with them... Even though it says pullups - underwear only after no accidents for two weeks.

And these are always the kids that get dropped off in full diapers...

I'm not really concerned with age, if the kids ready they are ready and as long as the parents are potty training at home I'll work on it here.

What drive me crazy is the "Snowflake is in underwear/underwear is in bag today!"
Me: oh? I'm glad you guys started over the weekend, did you remember to bring pullups?
Parent: we just started this morning! And no pullups, that will confuse Snowflake. 😊

Grrrr! What I'd love to say is: ah, well here is your term notice as you were told my potty training policies not even a few weeks ago. Good luck with Snowflake peeing all over YOUR home, furniture, and carpets. *shut door on face*

As it is I remind them of my policies and change the kid into back into diapers. 😞

[happymom]

Typically a child who is potty trained will ask to go to the toilet. If he is not asking to go but responds when you ask him if he has to go then he is not potty trained in my experience. Kids who are potty trained ask to go and will not go in their diaper or pull up at all. You can always ask the daycare if they would mind taking him if he asks. Asking a child if he needs to go is not normal practice.

Thanks. He is definitely not potty trained, I just practice with him at home this way and was wondering if it was acceptable to mention to daycare or if we should just keep it at home and not extend it into the daycare.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I start kids at 18m, and a great many of my kids that started at that age with me, are potty trained before or around 2. I only have ONE 18mo at a time. They are changed ON the potty, every 2 hours, more often than not they start to go when we use the restroom. I ask in between if anyone needs to go potty, and when they say they do, they go.

I found that the later a parent waits to potty train, the harder it is. I don't need full verbal ability, as long as the child can communicate the need to go. If it's pointing at the bathroom door, cool.

and no pullups, diapers are easy enough and less expensive. I can change a kid standing up in 10 seconds in a diaper, in a pullup that requires clothing removal and is much more time consuming. ::

I have had the complete opposite experience. All the parents are getting the potty training itch around 12-18 months and the kids are just not there yet and I am over here like, I am good with changing diapers for another year or two. :: My best success has been with waiting till after 3, although that is just a number and every kid is different. It is crazy, though. Every kid I have ever potty trained started at 3 and it took less than a day. It was a non issue for so many years, but it has now become something I have to address with every parent. I am interviewing a 4 week old and they are questioning my potty training policies:: I used to just change diapers until one day they started using the toilet. Now, parents want me to "engage" them in the toilet and make the toilet "their friend". I am being silly, but the amount of time and energy parents spend on potty training these days is mind boggling to me!::

[Unregistered]

I do!

Here is my potty training section from my handbook:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

Do you take the kids to the potty in intervals for practice? Or do you just give reminders at transition times and not make them?
Do you make them try if they are upset/crying from frustration?

[Blackcat31]

Do you take the kids to the potty in intervals for practice? Or do you just give reminders at transition times and not make them?
Do you make them try if they are upset/crying from frustration?

No, I don’t take them unless they’ve indicated a need to go.

I don’t take anyone to the toilet in timed intervals.

We do have breaks/transitions during the day in which I do have them try.

If they resist, get upset or cry; I leave it alone.

It should never be an upsetting experience for child or caregiver.

[Unregistered]

No, I don’t take them unless they’ve indicated a need to go.

I don’t take anyone to the toilet in timed intervals.

We do have breaks/transitions during the day in which I do have them try.

If they resist, get upset or cry; I leave it alone.

It should never be an upsetting experience for child or caregiver.

Thank you for replying. I have a dcp that wants me to have the dcg try and if she cries she wants me to leave the room and wait for her to try again. Would you just have them get dressed and leave or just leave if that happened? I don’t think it’s helpful but the parent does.

[Unregistered]

No, I don’t take them unless they’ve indicated a need to go.

I don’t take anyone to the toilet in timed intervals.

We do have breaks/transitions during the day in which I do have them try.

If they resist, get upset or cry; I leave it alone.

It should never be an upsetting experience for child or caregiver.

Would you mind sharing your breaks and transition times that you use for potty?

[Blackcat31]

Thank you for replying. I have a dcp that wants me to have the dcg try and if she cries she wants me to leave the room and wait for her to try again. Would you just have them get dressed and leave or just leave if that happened? I don’t think it’s helpful but the parent does.

I'd ask child if they need to go but if they say no or resist I would leave it alone. I do not believe in forcing a child to try.

I would tell the parent you will ask child but won't insist and that you can not leave child alone in the room (supervision required).

Let parent know that you will also have child use the toilet IF the child tells you they have to go.

If the child says no and/or they don't tell you, there really isn't anything else you can or should do. Forcing a kid to do something isn't conducive to a positive training experience.

If the parent is positive the child is ready, the parent can take a few days off and train their child on their time.

[Blackcat31]

Would you mind sharing your breaks and transition times that you use for potty?

We change activities every 60 to 90 minutes throughout the day. I provide an opportunity for the kids to use the bathroom at every break from opening time 7:30 until they leave care. Yes I think it is alot of breaks and yes it does get exhausting but what do you do... ! ::