Mean Attitudes

[Baby Beluga]

My sweet sweet group of children has made a recent change for the worse. They are so MEAN to one another now.

We've read books on being kind, discussed and read what it takes to be a "super friend," role played, everything. And they are still so nasty to one another.

Interrupting each other, yelling over one another, yelling at each other, saying put downs to one another. It's ridiculous. It got to the point yesterday where I separated them for the remainder of the day in individual centers because they simply would not stop. Today is much of the same

I don't know if they are tired of one another (some of this group is going on year 3 of being together, some year 2) or if it is just their ages and they are testing boundaries. But oh my, this has to stop.

[CityGarden]

I know that has to be challenging.

The weather where I live is wonderful but given that it is winter have the kids been inside more often than not? Are they possibly hungry (maybe look at what they are eating)? Are they tired? Do you rotate toys?

I find children 3+ have lots of energy and big emotions but don't yet know how to process them. Are you offering a rich preschool experience for those who are older in your group....? I can be play based but still more enriching for their age.

I am not asking you to answer those questions for me just for yourself as those are the questions I ask of myself at time with my class. Also the time change her meant shifting our snack and nap schedule so the day could still run smooth.

[Baby Beluga]

Thank you for responding. Yes it is super challenging. Especially since this group use to be so kind to one another. Those are all good questions, and ones I have asked myself. But maybe I am missing something? This is how our day goes:

(On a side note) my state does not participate in the time change. Thankfully we don't have to deal with that here. Our temps are also warm (think 80's - 90's) so we are able to outside.

Right now the children eat breakfast shortly after the last child arrives. Oatmeal with fruit, nuts and flax meal is served M, W, F, yogurt parfaits (plain greek yogurt with HM granola nuts and fruit is served on T and eggs, fruit and toast is served on TH). All of the children eat at home prior to coming here, but still eat a hearty breakfast.

After breakfast we go outside for 1 hour. After that we come in, do circle time, then art, yoga or a science experiment (whichever is planned for the day). After that the children break into centers (usually two children at one center) and we rotate while I make lunch. Once lunch is finished it's nap time and they all (including my almost 5 year old DCB) are asleep in less than 5 minutes.

After nap it is snack then we do music and movement while the first child leaves. About an hour after the first child leaves my last two leave. In that hour we do centers and/or sensory activities and I read to them for the last 10-15 minutes until parents come.

I used to serve a small morning snack after outside time, but then found that no one ate lunch. Once I omitted the morning snack and served a heartier breakfast lunch was eaten much better than before. As it is there are only 3 hours between the start of breakfast and the start of lunch. So not super long.

I'm at a loss

[ColorfulSunburst]

Let me guess ...
your kids are very close to 4yo and up.

I do not like to work with kids who are almost 4 and up to 4.5yo. It is crazy age. They get wild, rude, and uncontrollable if they are together. If they are separated they are sweetest kids. ::

So, I give up with this age. If they get wild, I separate them and try to calm down myself by thinking: wait a few months and they will become the good kids again.

[Baby Beluga]

Let me guess ...
your kids are very close to 4yo and up.

I do not like to work with kids who are almost 4 and up to 4.5yo. It is crazy age. They get wild, rude, and uncontrollable if they are together. If they are separated they are sweetest kids. ::

So, I give up with this age. If they get wild, I separate them and try to calm down myself by thinking: wait a few months and they will become the good kids again.

Winner winner! ::

I have one now 16 month old (he obviously isn't part of this) One who is almost 4, one who is almost 5 and one who is 5.

[JackandJill]

Just a shot, but have you tried rearranging your play space? I always switch up the room when kids are short on patience. It seems to help shift the overall mood of the group. I also cycle in "new" toys (from the attic) every couple of months.

I know for me, being in the same rooms with the same faces can make me nuts. I'm sure the kids can get that way, too!

[Baby Beluga]

Just a shot, but have you tried rearranging your play space? I always switch up the room when kids are short on patience. It seems to help shift the overall mood of the group. I also cycle in "new" toys (from the attic) every couple of months.

I know for me, being in the same rooms with the same faces can make me nuts. I'm sure the kids can get that way, too!

My main furniture is bolted to the wall so it's hard to rearrange my space. I do move smaller items like our art table and the dramatic play area and rotate toys. I also will switch things up and have circle time outside, picnic lunches, etc.

[Ariana]

I had a group like this in a centre job and the bullying was crazy! I started closely observing them and would make a note of any positive, nice, helping interactions and then at lunch I would talk about it with them. "Timmy I noticed this morning that you gave the toy to johnny nicely, that was so nice of you to do that and shows what a good friend you are. Thank you for making our day go smoother". I would really point out what they did specifically and how it impacted my day or our day. Within a week the bullying had pretty much stopped!

[BumbleBee]

I see another poster beat me to it but I was going to ask if they were around age 4.

I'm in the same boat, a bunch of 4's and nearly 4's. They can be downright nasty to each other. I don't particularly like this age.

All I can offer is :hug:

[ColorfulSunburst]

I see another poster beat me to it but I was going to ask if they were around age 4.

I'm in the same boat, a bunch of 4's and nearly 4's. They can be downright nasty to each other. I don't particularly like this age.

All I can offer is :hug:

I'm in the same boat too.
1 - 5yo
2 - 4.5yo
2- almost 4yo
the other 7 kids are 17mo-3yo and I'm pretty sure they are learning EVERYTHING from their BIG BROTHERS and will demonstrate it to me soon. ::

[Baby Beluga]

I'm happy to hear at least it's not just my group. Hugs of sympathy for everyone :hug:

It's so hard when our previously sweet natured kids switch things up on us!

[hwichlaz]

Yes it's the age. You have the terrible twos, threenagers, and the F-you fours, .

Anyone who goes on about the terrible twos hasn't met many 4 year olds.

When we all sit down for a meal I have them take turns saying nice things about eachother. It seems to help set the mood for a while.

[Baby Beluga]

Yes it's the age. You have the terrible twos, threenagers, and the F-you fours, .

Anyone who goes on about the terrible twos hasn't met many 4 year olds.

When we all sit down for a meal I have them take turns saying nice things about eachother. It seems to help set the mood for a while.

:: I have not heard of this stage before...but it makes sense!