Who To Term?

[lovemydaycare0912]

Ugg so remember me saying if new dcf paid their 2 week deposit tomorrow I would term dcb 3yrs?!

And then remember dcm who was late yesterday who told me today she would be pulling dcb in April or May due to wanting to relocate closer to her home?

Well now I'm torn but kind of not. DH says we should just term dcb 1yr because dcm already said she is going to term so it's better us first than her so we can have a plan. Then we can term dcb 3yr next month when my SIL's friend goes back to work or when someone new is ready for daycare. We haven't advertised yet.

I want to say I agree with him. I know it will look messed up and she'll be mad and probably not finish out her 2 weeks because she thinks she's helping us by telling us she's going to pull without a certain date. BUT at the end of the day, it's a business decision and nothing personal against her. We have to do what is best for the business. It's supposed to snow tomorrow so she probably won't come so I will have to email a term letter and text her letting her know to check it.

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that it's okay to look like a bad guy, yet again because she dropped the bomb first. I know once reading the letter she probably won't bring dcb back as he has her mother who can watch him until she finds something new. Ugg, I don't love the business side of this business so much.

Thanks again everyone

[AmyKidsCo]

I think you should do what's best for the business.

And consider this: If she won the lottery and didn't have to work beginning Monday, would she pull her child out immediately or leave him with you until April or May because that's what she said?

IME parents do what's best for them. Every. Time. You need to do what's best for you.

[lovemydaycare0912]

I think you should do what's best for the business.

And consider this: If she won the lottery and didn't have to work beginning Monday, would she pull her child out immediately or leave him with you until April or May because that's what she said?

IME parents do what's best for them. Every. Time. You need to do what's best for you.

Thank you that's what I needed to hear. And I know she would pull immediately if need be. Oh well, adios amigo.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

When a parent tells me this in advance I actually do not term them immediately.

I begin advertising that a spot will be available when she said (April or May) and if a family is willing to sign on to take the spot then I give the boot come May if that family hasn't left. I kindly let them know that they informed they were unenrolling come April or May and I have already enrolled a family based on what they said. I've done this for multiple families and it has worked well.

[KiwiKids]

When a parent tells me this in advance I actually do not term them immediately.

I begin advertising that a spot will be available when she said (April or May) and if a family is willing to sign on to take the spot then I give the boot come May if that family hasn't left. I kindly let them know that they informed they were unenrolling come April or May and I have already enrolled a family based on what they said. I've done this for multiple families and it has worked well.

I do the same when I have a family leaving. I really appreciate when families give a long notice so I can plan and have any transition go smoothly.

[lovemydaycare0912]

I understand where you both are coming from. However, with this dcm lying constantly about her job or lack thereof and just not being honest with me, I think it's only fair. What if I plan for an April may termination and she gives me notice next Friday or just never comes back. I don't trust her anymore.

[Blackcat31]

When a parent tells me this in advance I actually do not term them immediately.

I begin advertising that a spot will be available when she said (April or May) and if a family is willing to sign on to take the spot then I give the boot come May if that family hasn't left. I kindly let them know that they informed they were unenrolling come April or May and I have already enrolled a family based on what they said. I've done this for multiple families and it has worked well.

I agree. When a family tells me they are leaving, I would not term them. Not unless they broke a rule or failed to pay but if they still pay on time and observe the rules/policies, they stay until they give written notice of their last date of attendance.

I totally understand needing to do what is best for you (parents and providers/businesses) but I also think there is a professional aspect that plays a role in this and personally I think it's unprofessional to term them just because you want to be the one that terms verses getting termed.

Now, if you are actually wanting to term because of other issues besides the verbal withdrawal/wanting to term before she does then I would just term and be done with it. I wouldn't let the super advance notice play a role in my decision at all.

I would term the child that is a physical danger first verses the one that "might" term in April/May since physical aggression is far more risky to manage than a parent that flaps their yap without a concrete plan. kwim?

[CityGarden]

Based on the amount of notice I personally would not term or advertise for the spot this early. I would remind the parent of my notification policy though. (My policy is one month advance written notice many providers' is two weeks.)

That said the tone of your post about this dcm leads me to feel you truly do not like/respect/want to do business with her. I am not judging that or assigning blame for why that is but why do business with someone that makes you feel that way IF you can avoid it? I worry how your feeling toward her will build between now and April/May. So I do understand why you would consider terming.... but those reasons are not really based on her notice.

In life we all deal with challenging co-workers, bosses, etc. so I try to interview well enough to get a feel for that and I only offer a one year contract that needs to be renewed annually IF I have a problem family my plan is to goal would be to not term but not renew their contract. That said there are some items I would immediately term such as: children being a physical or emotional threat to others in my care, frequent late pick up, non-payment, etc. I personally don't care if a parent works or why they desire care - so as long as they respect my time by picking up on time and paying on time.

I do not know the other child's story but I try to remind myself this is a business (not personal) and try to make my decisions from that mindset.

[Leigh]

I agree about not terming the kid whose mom gave you advance notice. I'd appreciate her honesty, and the extra chance to fill that spot. The other kid should have already been termed, IMO. I'd definitely term that one.

[AmyKidsCo]

I misunderstood - I thought the other family was enrolling for sure and you wouldn't have room for both. If terming would result in an opening I wouldn't term right away, but I wouldn't turn down prospective families either.

[lovemydaycare0912]

Mehhhhhh I'm torn now. I see both sides. I'll have to think about this. I have all day since I closed due to weather. I do appreciate all your help and advice greatly.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I understand where you both are coming from. However, with this dcm lying constantly about her job or lack thereof and just not being honest with me, I think it's only fair. What if I plan for an April may termination and she gives me notice next Friday or just never comes back. I don't trust her anymore.

Oh dear. Yes, I don't think I'd want to continue working with her much longer either. I didn't mean to make you feel like making another choice was the WRONG choice, I just wanted to put in my 2 cents for an alternate way.

lovethis Perhaps when you end the working relationship you can use one of the above reasons.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Based on the amount of notice I personally would not term or advertise for the spot this early. I would remind the parent of my notification policy though. (My policy is one month advance written notice many providers' is two weeks.)

That said the tone of your post about this dcm leads me to feel you truly do not like/respect/want to do business with her. I am not judging that or assigning blame for why that is but why do business with someone that makes you feel that way IF you can avoid it? I worry how your feeling toward her will build between now and April/May. So I do understand why you would consider terming.... but those reasons are not really based on her notice.

In life we all deal with challenging co-workers, bosses, etc. so I try to interview well enough to get a feel for that and I only offer a one year contract that needs to be renewed annually IF I have a problem family my plan is to goal would be to not term but not renew their contract. That said there are some items I would immediately term such as: children being a physical or emotional threat to others in my care, frequent late pick up, non-payment, etc. I personally don't care if a parent works or why they desire care - so as long as they respect my time by picking up on time and paying on time.

I do not know the other child's story but I try to remind myself this is a business (not personal) and try to make my decisions from that mindset.

That is so interesting! Would you mind elaborating on that more?
Do they know the contract means they are only guaranteed enrollment for one year and it's up to both parties to decide if it'll continue past that year? How do you word this?

[lovemydaycare0912]

After much consideration and speaking to DH, we have decided to term 3yr dcb who is too challenging for us. His behaviors are not something I want to put up with until I find a new replacement. If this other dcm who gave me early notice terms sooner, than that is just something I will have to deal with.

Thank you everyone for helping me see both sides. Even if dcb doesn't come back for his last 2 weeks after we tell dcm, I know it will be the best 2 weeks since he has enrolled. Have a great weekend!

[daycarediva]

I would let the aggressive 3yo go. Then advertise.

If you aren't willing to stick it out with the family potentially leaving, I would absolutely let them go sooner. It would probably benefit them anyway, since it sounds like that is what dcm is alluding to. Typically, if a family gives me a long notice period, I don't replace them BUT if this is already a family that was lying to me I would definitely call her out on it and replace asap.