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New Child .... Driving Me Crazy Already
A new dck started today and has literally been crying from 8:30 am - now I've tried playing with him one on one, giving him space, activities, and everything else you can think of. I'm thinking about terminating and was wondering what you all do when a kid just screams all day. How do you handle the stress
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In my handbook, I included crying in my pick up policy. If a child is crying for 2.5 hours, then parents are called for pick up and must be there within 45 minutes.
Just like my illness policy, I exclude for the symptom not the diagnosis. So when parents tell me their child is crying while he adjusts to new care, misses his puppy at home, doesn't care for the weather that day, its all the same to me, they still have to come get their little one.
If the crying doesn't stop within a couple of weeks, I let them go. Clearly, things are not working for the child. In the past I have kept criers for 4-6 months
I wish I had found this forum sooner to let me know its okay to move the criers along and quickly!
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Thank you I really appreciate your response. I'm putting your comments to use.Comment
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I would also call for pick up after a certain amount of time. I would likely try until naptime but then would have to send home so the kids could sleep and I could get a break.
I had one who cried all day before and she cried for a good 3-4 months straight if I recall correctly. She was 2 1/2. It was a rough time for all of us and I wish I would've called for pick up each day because it made for some long days for everyone.Comment
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Maybe this is not the right way to handle it but my mantra is "crying babies go to bed" I have 2 1 year olds started at the beginning of the month. They got a couple of days to acclimate and then when they were cuddled changed, fed and they persisted in anger screaming I put them in their pack in play in a room off my daycare. They would stop crying I would go in all happy and say are you ready to come out now in a bright cheerful voice. If they came out and started screaming again back they went... It took two days for each of them and now they are happy campers. Sometimes I think the new ones are just overwhelmed with all the action going on around them and just need a little time and space to settle down. Works for me.Comment
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I play it by ear.
If it isn't constant, and I see glimpses of being able to relax, then I work with them a bit longer then if it's a constant, stressed out thing.
I had one that cried constantly her first day. Did not let up. I spoke to mom about it and told her we would see how day 2 went. She cried all day that day. I let her go at pick up. Honestly, this child was not prepared for group care (had never been away from mom) and was completely stressed out. It wasn't fair to her, to my group or to me, to continue on.
I did have another who cried off and on for the entire transition period (I do 4 weeks). I pushed through, because she seemed able to bond with me, it wasn't the entire day, and she ended up adjusting very well.
Only you can decide it it's worth continuing. It is very stressful for you and for the rest of your group, and of course, the little one adjusting. Fwiw, I have 45 minutes of crying and I will call for pick up in my policies.Comment
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It really depends. I had an 18 month old like this and it got progressively worse and worse and after the second week she got booted. There was absolutely no reason for her to be crying and screaming other than attachment disorder.
Attachment disorders are really hard to deal with. I think most infants should settle down after a few days but if this has been going on over a week and you see no improvement then I would term.Comment
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Depends on the age.
If dck is at 2 or older, then I have a "crying spot". Safe soft area, separate from the fun play, but still where I can see and supervise. Crying dck gets a little time of cuddles and comforting, if they continue to cry, then they get taken to the crying spot. They are allowed to cry as long as they need to. With frequent reminders from me that they can come play as soon as they are done crying. I usually pull out something really fun that I know dck would like to participate in.
It never seems to take very long to decide that playing looks like much more fun that crying - especially if the crying isn't getting them any attention.
Crying spot only works if the child is old enough to understand the process and be able to bring themselves back into the group. I wouldn't even try it with an infant.Comment
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I'm the opposite, I feel constant criers tend to get it over than selective criers. I.e. if they're crying during fun stuff, I feel it's them adjusting. If they stop crying during fun stuff, I find they're just manipulative/spoiled. That's something you will never break a child of as it is their personality. I'll never forget when I worked in a center and I caught one child feigning and said "You don't miss mommy any more?" and his face dropped like he knew I knew him.
Now, that provide care in my home, I give them a week. With the parent being notified on day one that I don't think group care is for their child. That if they don't adjust by a week, they can not stay. Honestly, group care isn't for every child. Some children need a babysitter.Comment
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It depends on the situation. If she's crying because she wants mom to come back you may be reinforcing the behavior by having her picked up. I tend to make sure the kiddo is okay, and then go on with our day as if she weren't crying.
caveat...I will decided whether she's improved enough for her to continue care within my two week trial period. I have insisted on full time care for two weeks for a crier that would normally only be part time, to get her through that transition period quicker.Comment
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My crying cut-off is one hour. That's a lot of sustained crying for a child. That being said, I don't term, I just send home for the day.Comment
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