Call Mom?

[Play Care]

My now 1 year old came in today after being out for two weeks. She had surgery to remove extra toes and is in leg casts. She's able to get around, so no issues there.

She has been crying since she came in As soon as mom left she army crawled the front door, screaming and crying.
I knew there would be some issues today so no big surprise.
But after a bit I've tried breakfast and now napping. She's still crying...

I don't want to be premature, but the fact she's coming off surgery is making me more nervous about it. Would you call mom? Text a heads up?

[daycarediva]

Text a heads up. It could be something as small as baby was held the entire two weeks, or something larger like pain. Is she normally a happy baby or is it very out of character?

[Sumshine]

I would text her letting her know DCG appears to be upset or in some pain (if it appears that way?) And if things don't get better by/before lunch she has to go home as she can't participate in daily activities (as much as she can in a cast) and you don't want her crying/disrupting the afternoon nap time of others.

DCM might just come get her right then and there. I know as a mom whose son was in a in-home daycare before becoming a provider that's what I would personally do. But I do see now a lot of parents don't care if their kiddos are sick, in pain, clearly upset, etc at daycare because heaven forbid they miss work. My work hated when I missed work and I worked off a goal/commission so it really hurt me as well to miss it but guess what that's having a kid! Sorry mini rant over! We are going through a family of strep currently and it's been a pain. Mom wanted to drop the kids off at 2pm because their 24 hour mark would be 1:45pm...regular drop off time for them is 7am! Nope!

[Play Care]

She's napping now, so I'll see how she is when she gets up.

And she's my PT'er so while she's okay, she's not as comfortable as my other FT infant.

[DaveA]

I agree with the others- send a heads up so if you do have to call DCP for pick up it's not a surprise. Describe the morning. Let DCM know she's napping now and you'll see how she's doing after she wakes up.

[AmyKidsCo]

I agree with the others- send a heads up so if you do have to call DCP for pick up it's not a surprise. Describe the morning. Let DCM know she's napping now and you'll see how she's doing after she wakes up.

That way if there is an issue you've got documentation that you let mom know.

[daycarediva]

How is she doing?

[Play Care]

Much better after nap! Phew!!

[daycarediva]

happyface awesome!

[Pestle]

But I do see now a lot of parents don't care if their kiddos are sick, in pain, clearly upset, etc at daycare because heaven forbid they miss work. My work hated when I missed work and I worked off a goal/commission so it really hurt me as well to miss it but guess what that's having a kid!

So I'm going off on a rant, and it's not applicable to parents who deliberately ignore contact, drop off a sick child, or dilly-dally instead of picking up promptly. Those are people who are abusing our services.

If you were working on goal/commission, you may not have had the kind of job where you'd get terminated on the spot for leaving without at least a couple of hours' notice to your supervisor. Some of us--myself included--have had those kinds of jobs--the jobs where you're scared every day that you'll be in the next wave of layoffs, because the employers favor cheap over experienced and will kick you to the curb when a fresh batch of college graduates comes along. Please apply the blame where it belongs: employers who abuse their employees to scrape a few extra dollars off our labor, and the lawmakers who favor that kind of free-market "job creator" above their working-class constituency.

I've also heard school teachers voice this kind of complaint about parents who aren't hovering right outside the school doors, ready for pick up for anything and everything. "I can't believe it took her 45 minutes to show up," one said. I asked how far away the mom worked, and whether her job had meetings she could have been in or required her to work off site, and whether there was traffic at that time. The teacher had no idea; just expected the mom to arrive in the blink of an eye. As someone who sometimes got blamed for not arriving immediately for pick up in a gridlock, and simultaneously blamed for leaving work unfinished, I'm sick of the condemnation that comes from both sides--the providers and the employers.

I remember a painful couple of months when I had to go on WIC after losing a job while my husband was underemployed; the next-door neighbor had a bumper sticker that said "If you can't feed them, don't breed them." So throwing out "You shouldn't have kids if you can't leave your job for pick up" ticks me off. This attitude of "You aren't available immediately so I wish your kids didn't exist" is absurd as well as cruel.

[Pestle]

Also, I have a sinus infection so my brain is oxygen-starved and my teeth hurt, I have a screamer transitioning in, my part-time preschooler has some behavioral issues that are making us all miserable, and school was unexpectedly closed so I had my daughter and two of her classmates here acting out all morning and into the afternoon. And I somehow managed to miss breakfast and lunch.

So I might be just a little bit cranky right now. Sorry for shooting all the rage at you, Sunshine. *Goes to blow horrible infected nose*

[Play Care]

Also, I have a sinus infection so my brain is oxygen-starved and my teeth hurt, I have a screamer transitioning in, my part-time preschooler has some behavioral issues that are making us all miserable, and school was unexpectedly closed so I had my daughter and two of her classmates here acting out all morning and into the afternoon. And I somehow managed to miss breakfast and lunch.

So I might be just a little bit cranky right now. Sorry for shooting all the rage at you, Sunshine. *Goes to blow horrible infected nose*

:hug::hug:

To be honest, I didn't want to send DC kid home. I absolutely would have if I felt it necessary, but my gut was thinking this was more of a separation issue after two weeks of being with mom.

[Pestle]

Heck, if I'd had toes removed, I'd be commando-crawling and screaming for my mom, too, even if it didn't hurt and the toes had been extra!

[Indoorvoice]

So I'm going off on a rant, and it's not applicable to parents who deliberately ignore contact, drop off a sick child, or dilly-dally instead of picking up promptly. Those are people who are abusing our services.

If you were working on goal/commission, you may not have had the kind of job where you'd get terminated on the spot for leaving without at least a couple of hours' notice to your supervisor. Some of us--myself included--have had those kinds of jobs--the jobs where you're scared every day that you'll be in the next wave of layoffs, because the employers favor cheap over experienced and will kick you to the curb when a fresh batch of college graduates comes along. Please apply the blame where it belongs: employers who abuse their employees to scrape a few extra dollars off our labor, and the lawmakers who favor that kind of free-market "job creator" above their working-class constituency.

I've also heard school teachers voice this kind of complaint about parents who aren't hovering right outside the school doors, ready for pick up for anything and everything. "I can't believe it took her 45 minutes to show up," one said. I asked how far away the mom worked, and whether her job had meetings she could have been in or required her to work off site, and whether there was traffic at that time. The teacher had no idea; just expected the mom to arrive in the blink of an eye. As someone who sometimes got blamed for not arriving immediately for pick up in a gridlock, and simultaneously blamed for leaving work unfinished, I'm sick of the condemnation that comes from both sides--the providers and the employers.

I remember a painful couple of months when I had to go on WIC after losing a job while my husband was underemployed; the next-door neighbor had a bumper sticker that said "If you can't feed them, don't breed them." So throwing out "You shouldn't have kids if you can't leave your job for pick up" ticks me off. This attitude of "You aren't available immediately so I wish your kids didn't exist" is absurd as well as cruel.

Oh my gosh you absolutely put into words what I have trouble articulating to people. The problem is that our society as a whole does not place enough value on the importance of parents being available to their children. We have really screwed up views that work is more important and that children come last. I really feel this is why child care, education, and families in general are failing.