Mixed Ages, Need Ideas

[MsLisa]

I Nanny 3 boys, ages 4, 7 and 12, alongside my own daughter who is 9. They all get along great, give or take normal sibling bickering.
I have 2 problems I could use some wisdom on...

1. Activities.
Normally I have NO problem in this area, BUT....Being so different in age it's hard to find neat stuff to do with them when they start bickering. Boys aren't generally into arts and crafts, which is one of my specialties, so I feel sort of at a loss. In Aftercare 2yrs ago, I did tons of crafts but it was mainly just the girls who would do them, while the boys preferred the Wii, computer, gym-based games or building stuff.
Give these guys the option and they would be on electronics all day. Which is another habit I'm trying to break because it causes soo much bickering and headaches. (Ideas about that too, if you have any!)
They do go outside every day and play but that usually only last 30 min. I take them on day trips once every week if we can. With the abrupt warm weather, we take walks, ride outdoor toys and go to the park. Thoughts?

2. I need good calm down, chill out activities for the evening.
The kids are pretty easy all day with me but an hour before their parents come home from work, they lose their mind. So their parents walk into chaos, that wasn't there the whole day and I feel horrid.
I've tried giving them fun games to play on the Wii together specifically if they're good and only at that time, but that turned into them never letting me leave on time and whining. I've tried movies and popcorn, but they could NEVER decide on a movie or show they all want to watch. It's about the closest though that I got them to all chill but I can see it getting old. HELP!

[childcaremom]

I Nanny 3 boys, ages 4, 7 and 12, alongside my own daughter who is 9. They all get along great, give or take normal sibling bickering.
I have 2 problems I could use some wisdom on...

1. Activities.
Normally I have NO problem in this area, BUT....Being so different in age it's hard to find neat stuff to do with them when they start bickering. Boys aren't generally into arts and crafts, which is one of my specialties, so I feel sort of at a loss. In Aftercare 2yrs ago, I did tons of crafts but it was mainly just the girls who would do them, while the boys preferred the Wii, computer, gym-based games or building stuff.
Give these guys the option and they would be on electronics all day. Which is another habit I'm trying to break because it causes soo much bickering and headaches. (Ideas about that too, if you have any!)
They do go outside every day and play but that usually only last 30 min. I take them on day trips once every week if we can. With the abrupt warm weather, we take walks, ride outdoor toys and go to the park. Thoughts?

Ask for their input on ideas. Everyone gets 2-3 sheets to write an idea on. Stick it in a jar. 30 mins per activity (or whatever). I would also up the outdoor time. 30 mins is very little time. I might spend that much time herding my kids outside but then they stay out for hours.

2. I need good calm down, chill out activities for the evening.
The kids are pretty easy all day with me but an hour before their parents come home from work, they lose their mind. So their parents walk into chaos, that wasn't there the whole day and I feel horrid.
I've tried giving them fun games to play on the Wii together specifically if they're good and only at that time, but that turned into them never letting me leave on time and whining. I've tried movies and popcorn, but they could NEVER decide on a movie or show they all want to watch. It's about the closest though that I got them to all chill but I can see it getting old. HELP!

Movies: Each child takes a turn to pick. No grumps or you lose your place in the pick line.



Library trips for books

[debbiedoeszip]

I don't do screen time at all during the daycare day. Mostly because I didn't want the fight that would happen between the kids, and when it would be time to turn it off. They don't need it so I don't do it at all.

I wouldn't try to do activities together. Their ages are too disparate. I'd just try to have several activities for each child to choose from.

Leave washable crayons and paper/colouring books where they can be reached at all times. Same for play dough and accessories. Have one period of time per day when messy art can be done (supervised). Don't set up crafts but give them craft materials and let them each decide what to do with them.

I'd have way more outside time, especially for the younger kids. I got my dckids Tuffo Muddy Buddy suits and I let them go nuts in the backyard which is wet, icy, and muddy right now (and I've opened the sandbox which is more of a mudbox LOL). They love it and it was 1.5 hours this morning before the first child asked to go back inside.

Can you teach the older kids to knit or crochet, or something like that. That might keep them busy for a long time.

[Cat Herder]

I am assuming you are at the boys home? What do their parents do with them there on weekends? Do they have their own rooms, back yard, neighborhood friends and interests?

At 12, I would assume the oldest would desperately appreciate NOT being expected to spend his down time with a 4 or 7 year old... or even an unrelated 9 year old girl.

[daycarediva]

OUTSIDE. Playground if you have to, every single day. Bikes, playing catch, I would even ask the parents if 12yo could have a friend over. My 8 & 11 yo's were outside until lunch, having screen free downtime during rest/now, (reading and reading journals are done during this time, too) and will be back outside after snack.

Their ONLY screen time is after dinner in the evenings and it's limited to in between sibling showers. ::

Weekly library trips, designated reading times, reading journals, rewards for reading for 10 days in a row or something (ice cream trip?)

Legos. my kids are obsessed with all things lego and knex. My living room is taken over by a MASSIVE theme park at the moment.

[MsLisa]

I am assuming you are at the boys home? What do their parents do with them there on weekends? Do they have their own rooms, back yard, neighborhood friends and interests?

At 12, I would assume the oldest would desperately appreciate NOT being expected to spend his down time with a 4 or 7 year old... or even an unrelated 9 year old girl.

Correct. I go to their home from 2 -7. The oldest has his own room and the 4 & 7 bunk in one room, which is also kind of a playroom too. Fenced in yard with a trampoline and outdoor ride-ons. Not much, but enough for now.

~ The 4 yr old is a loner. He will play Skylanders on the Wii all day if you let him. If that's not available he's on the iPad. He never plays with his brothers. He barely talks to me unless he wants help, food or drink. I got him to play with play-doh once when I found it while cleaning the room. He is an old soul in a tiny body.

~ The 7 yr old is the cry baby. He's your typical middle child. Loud, all over the place and if he doesn't get his way it's instant tears. Drives me nuts. But he loves to read, but likes playing pool on the iPad all day if you let him. Always fights for my daughter's attention. Can't ever make him content.

~ The 12 yr old is the dare devil. He loves to help me cook dinner, helps with tantrums and listens well. But he instigates, is a charmer and active. He and my daughter actually get along the most. He never talks about other friends, although they do text or call his cell. He actually likes his brothers company. But he gets bored easily and mischievous if not kept busy.

They go to their real dad's from Friday evening (5 pm) to Sunday. They dislike it and fight me to get ready every time.
The parents are still rather mysterious to me. They work together in the same workplace. The mom is a chatter box the few minutes I see her and their step-dad just plops on the couch. The house is disorganized and I'm always organizing, which finds stuff under stuff because no one seems to clean much. What they do when I'm not there is a mystery. I know they go places & eat out a lot. The parents are frequent bar people.

[CalCare]

Just some ideas that my 9 year old son enjoys:
Pokemon Cards
Making any random art with any saved junk. They call it box construction at his school. We save cereal boxes, drink cartons, packaging from anything.
He usually makes a lot of books- just stack 5 sheets of paper, fold over and staples.
Fuse beads (looks up Mario or pokemon or any character on line to try to copy or create his own).
Tinker toys.
Legos.
Making masks/costumes out of paper grocery bags.
Cooking treats (much preferred to cooking real food )
Lemonade stands and "garage sales" to con the neighborhood out of a few dollars to be saved for buying whatever they want.
Looking for frogs, bug, snails.
Practicing violin/piano, making up songs (do your kids have any musical instruments? If not, a cheap used electronic keyboard could open up a whole new world!)
Making stuffed animals by him cutting out felt and I hot glue gun (stuffed with random old clothes) (I allow him to hot glue gun but he got burned so he is scared now).
Snap Circuits
Dress up and make movies with my phone (grr I don't like that one much ) I did buy him a $10 used Flip Video Camera once but it couldn't hold a charge.
He loves that white air dry clay.
He was into making board games for awhile.
Also there is a place here where you can buy donated junk for cheap and there is a lot kids (or adults) can create with a bunch of junk!

Those are some thoughts!
I hope at least one helps

[Cat Herder]

That paints a pretty clear picture of a more adult oriented lifestyle. At least to me.

I read it as every weekend is at Dad's and weeknights are with you until almost bedtime. That sounds so rough to me. Not trying to be judgy, trying to see it from a childs eyes, only.... They may even see it as completely normal, Latchkey was to me, soooo :confused:.

You can try to introduce a more child oriented lifestyle into the mix. With homework, dinner, an *activity* and some personal down time (screen/books/phone, etc) being the daily goal; could you do a physical activity before homework to allow them to expend some energy and blow off stress from school?

How about a local pool on Mondays, bowling alley on Tuesdays, local park/track on Wednesdays and local library on Thursdays? Maybe it could better suit everyone's likes, let them play without costing a fortune and minimize tantrums or fighting?

It would help with their appetite, sleep and overall education as well.