Why Does This Bother Me So Much?

[TXhomedaycare]

I have been doing home daycare for 3 years and have mainly had all boys (almost 2 years straight with 6 boys). I have 2 yo and 6 yo sons and my life is mostly boy world between my kids and my husband, so I am trying to get use to having 2 girls in care. I have 3 yo and 4 yo girls who have been coming for a few months now and for some reason I get fustrated when they free play. The only thing they play is boyfriend/girlfriend, cell phone/selfie, kiss/drama (cheating, boyfriend hurt girlfriend, breakups, pregnant and boyfriend left), pretend smoking, makeup . Both girls have older siblings which I am sure plays a role but I can't stand that they don't play like my boys or kid's kwim??(cars, puzzles, animals), instead they act like their parents and only talk and act out and do adult things. I redirect them and say if something is inappropriate or not age appropriate but I am doing it so much I am wondering is this just how girls play? I was raised old fashioned/conservative (I'm 32) and since I am a Christian daycare I try to keep the play pretty clean (especially since most of the boys in my care are only kids and have not been exposed to some of the stuff the girls are talking about). I know girls mature faster than boys and that the others kids will eventually be exposed to things outside their home but I struggle with drawing the line on appropriate and inappropriate play because theg are just kidd. Am I being too uptight? What is your rule of thumb for appropriate or inappropriate play? Can Barbie be naked with spider man? In my house no

[Blackcat31]

I have been doing home daycare for 3 years and have mainly had all boys (almost 2 years straight with 6 boys). I have 2 yo and 6 yo sons and my life is mostly boy world between my kids and my husband, so I am trying to get use to having 2 girls in care. I have 3 yo and 4 yo girls who have been coming for a few months now and for some reason I get fustrated when they free play. The only thing they play is boyfriend/girlfriend, cell phone/selfie, kiss/drama (cheating, boyfriend hurt girlfriend, breakups, pregnant and boyfriend left), pretend smoking, makeup . Both girls have older siblings which I am sure plays a role but I can't stand that they don't play like my boys or kid's kwim??(cars, puzzles, animals), instead they act like their parents and only talk and act out and do adult things. I redirect them and say if something is inappropriate or not age appropriate but I am doing it so much I am wondering is this just how girls play? I was raised old fashioned/conservative (I'm 32) and since I am a Christian daycare I try to keep the play pretty clean (especially since most of the boys in my care are only kids and have not been exposed to some of the stuff the girls are talking about). I know girls mature faster than boys and that the others kids will eventually be exposed to things outside their home but I struggle with drawing the line on appropriate and inappropriate play because theg are just kidd. Am I being too uptight? What is your rule of thumb for appropriate or inappropriate play? Can Barbie be naked with spider man? In my house no

I totally understand....

My advice... separate the girls. Partner them up with anyone other than the other girl.

I'd start each day fresh and probably let them play together. However, FIRST mention of ANY topic or play that is unacceptable means separation and a new playmate.

Rinse and repeat.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

WOW. I've never experienced that and I have mostly 3-5's (about 10-11 per day). I'm a Christian program, too, and the only thing I'd accept is make-up and phone/selfies. I made pretend make-up for my girls with nail polish inside donated make-up containers. They enjoy that.

I had one little 4-year-old girl, last year, who needed an evaluation done. Her play was always very inappropriate. I took away ALL male dollhouse dolls and only had females due to the kissing and sexual scenes she was acting out. Once I terminated their contract, I brought back out the male dollhouse dolls. The kids play nicely with them now.

I would do as BlackCat said and separate as needed. I'd also say, "No thank you" with a serious look whenever they began doing/saying something inappropriate. If they're using a toy inappropriately I'd give them another toy to play with.

[Mom2Two]

Um, yeah, WOW here too. I have a 6 yo daughter and a 5 yo girl in care and they never play anything like that. They play family and babies (taking care of dolls) and house. They have the four year old boys playing family half the time too. Or they play "pets" where the kids are often the pets. I love this play!

Of course sometimes the boys are playing super heros with knives and guns or zombies--not quite so sweet.

I had one 5 yo girls once who was a bit more sophisticated, but she mainly just wanted to boss everyone else around. She was the youngest of four girls so she had teen sisters and the whole family was waaaay into fashion. But nothing like what you're describing.

[Ariana]

I am the opposite and have had almost all girls at my daycare and have two girls of my own and NEVER have I witnessed this type of play! To be honest it is kind of shocking

I wouldn't say this has anything to do with gender!

[TaylorTots]

I've had mostly all girls in my care over the years. When I have run into inappropriate free play, I remind them of the rules and what is not acceptable play. Usually a few reminders correct issues. I have had children who were from homes that had turmoil and I saw much more inappropriate play from these kids. If a review of the rules didn't work, I discussed the problem with the parent(s) and outline what the expectations were. One case I did have to term the family due to inappropriate play.

Barbies aren't in our daycare other than during the summer when we add water to the sensory table and I put in 2 or 3 Barbies that have permanent swimsuits and then teach them how we play with them, etc.

[TaylorTots]

I wouldn't say this has anything to do with gender!

Agree, I think it has to do with their home life and exposure to inappropriate play/talk in their homes (or at preschool/school if you care for older kids).

[Unregistered]

Um no, I've never had girls play like this. They are acting out things they see whether from real life or TV. I'd bet most of it is real life.

First I'd have a respectful talk with them.

Then I'd set up expectations each morning. I'd say what things can you play? What will happen if you play xyz, etc.

I'd separate too if it shows up in their play. They will have to unlearn some things and learn new and different ways to play so it's normal it will take a little time.

[Unregistered]

Yikes.... I have worked in Christian and Secular programs and that type of play would be addressed and re-directed in either environment. Definitely learned behaviors based on environment. If I were you I would take some time (weeks) to totally detox the girls from the habit of this type of play. I would replace the human aspect from dramatic play (put away the kitchen, dress-up dolls, and barbies). I would invest in some my little ponies, littlest pet shop sets, or Bremer horse sets or the like as an outlet for dramatic play without the sociology lessons!😂 After awhile of detox i would reindroduce original items, with clear guidelines. Good luck!

[TXhomedaycare]

Thank you for the feedback guys. I was really concerned. I will remove the toys and detox these girls :: I know one of them is acting out what she sees at home. She is one of those kids that was not taught that she is not needed in every conversation (I can tell she is listening or apart of her parents conversations and she watches adult shows a lot). I am glad that they are not the new normal