Had A Concern From A Parent

[mia]

This morning one of my clients comes to me very upset, end up in tears....

At pick up last night this mom came to get her child, left with child all bundled up coat and all, while she was putting her child into car she seen another client of mine picking up as well, this other client took child 13 months old out to car with no coat or anything just regular clothes that where worn through out the day. First mom was shocked then upset so felt the need to let me know, that with it being -5 out last night that this child should have had something on whether it be a sweater or light coat... She felt that I needed to know for she did not think it was her right to say anything to the other mom. Child came in this morning with no coat or shoes etc.

Should I say something? How would you address it? Do you think that this one mom was over reacting for her child is overly dressed all the time (2 under shirts, fleece jumper, 2 pares of socks and booties, sweater, and coat when they left last night)...

Not 100% sure how to address this one, I did tell mom that I would see how child was brought in this morning and possible talk to other mom.... was child's first day yesterday as well...

Any and all help would be appropriated... thanks ladies...

[Pestle]

Ugh. If the car is warm, it's no problem. I wouldn't want to have to defend one family to another. I might say "If I have reason to suspect child abuse or negligence, I will report it." And leave it at that. Maybe just repeat it as long as the mom keeps pressing the issue.

Is there anything you really need to say to the other parent? Are the kids underdressed for playing inside? Should they be coming with a coat for outdoor play? If yes, then bring that up just to them and don't share with any other families. If no, then don't act as a go-between for a nosy parent. She might be saying she didn't think she had any right to confront the other parent; she actually just wants you to be the buffer for her.

[AmyKidsCo]

I definitely wouldn't want to get in between two moms!

The newest safety recommendations for car seats are for children to NOT wear coats, so in some ways the first mom is being safer than the second.

[Pestle]

I definitely wouldn't want to get in between two moms!

The newest safety recommendations for car seats are for children to NOT wear coats, so in some ways the first mom is being safer than the second.

True!

[Sumshine]

This morning one of my clients comes to me very upset, end up in tears....

At pick up last night this mom came to get her child, left with child all bundled up coat and all, while she was putting her child into car she seen another client of mine picking up as well, this other client took child 13 months old out to car with no coat or anything just regular clothes that where worn through out the day. First mom was shocked then upset so felt the need to let me know, that with it being -5 out last night that this child should have had something on whether it be a sweater or light coat... She felt that I needed to know for she did not think it was her right to say anything to the other mom. Child came in this morning with no coat or shoes etc.

Should I say something? How would you address it? Do you think that this one mom was over reacting for her child is overly dressed all the time (2 under shirts, fleece jumper, 2 pares of socks and booties, sweater, and coat when they left last night)...

Not 100% sure how to address this one, I did tell mom that I would see how child was brought in this morning and possible talk to other mom.... was child's first day yesterday as well...

Any and all help would be appropriated... thanks ladies...

I had one DCP upset another DCP drove out of driveway with DCBs older SA siblings (not in my care) who didn't appear to be buckled in. She said the kiddos were clearly standing up in the backseat and playing around as they drove out of my driveway and didn't buckle until they were in the road. I politely dismissed it with a "Oh I guess everyone's different about that kind of stuff. I wouldnt leave unless my kiddo was buckled in case of other drivers turning the corner and hitting us but not everyone thinks that way"

Sure I don't agree with it and yes she should be ensuring her older kiddos are buckled before going anywhere but there is a certain point where you have to realize you just can't solve everything and not everything is your responsibility. If a parent is being clearly negligent thats one thing but something like this is a grey area.

I am in MN and always warm my car up for 15 mins before going anywhere and my kiddo doesn't wear a coat if I'm only walking 10-20ft to get from my warm car to a house. He's more exposed to the cold if I sit and get him in his coat with the car door open after he is unbuckled than if we just run in real quick. I do however bring it with us and he always has socks and shoes on.

I also have a DCP who doesn't bring their kiddo in with coat or shoes because he has an extra set of everything and boots here. She knows it's not safe to put her kiddo in the carseat with a coat and says DCB just takes his shoes off in the 5 min drive over here anyways. She has a heated garage so her car is always warm.

If you really feel like you need to say something maybe feel the child and say "Wow kiddo your tootsies are really cold! Mama we may need to be bringing some socks!" But I wouldn't say something because another DCP said to I'd be saying it because I need the kiddo to be comfortable here or its something I wouldn't condone in general. I have an infant in care who was always in a short sleeve onesie and it gets chilly in my basement where my general daycare area is. I made a general comment about maybe needing some warmer clothes down here since the infants arms were chilly and DCM has brought him in long sleeves since.

[Baby Beluga]

This morning one of my clients comes to me very upset, end up in tears....

At pick up last night this mom came to get her child, left with child all bundled up coat and all, while she was putting her child into car she seen another client of mine picking up as well, this other client took child 13 months old out to car with no coat or anything just regular clothes that where worn through out the day. First mom was shocked then upset so felt the need to let me know, that with it being -5 out last night that this child should have had something on whether it be a sweater or light coat... She felt that I needed to know for she did not think it was her right to say anything to the other mom. Child came in this morning with no coat or shoes etc.

Should I say something? How would you address it? Do you think that this one mom was over reacting for her child is overly dressed all the time (2 under shirts, fleece jumper, 2 pares of socks and booties, sweater, and coat when they left last night)...

Not 100% sure how to address this one, I did tell mom that I would see how child was brought in this morning and possible talk to other mom.... was child's first day yesterday as well...

Any and all help would be appropriated... thanks ladies...

If this mom keeps these items on her child and has the heat on in the car, that poor child must be incredibly hot

I too would not get in the middle of two moms. I wouldn't say anything to either mom.

I also second what PP's said - children are not supposed to wear heavy winter gear in the car seat as it effects how the harness holds the child in the seat in an accident. If the car is warmed up and DCK is being brought from a warm house to a warm car I don't see the big deal.

[Play Care]

If it were just a parent running a child from a heated house to a heated car , it wouldn't warrant comment. But it sounds like this child is not prepared for the day. Not coming in with coat, shoes and hat is a big deal, especially if they haven't left you with spares of those items. What if you had to evacuate the house with the children?

[Blackcat31]

This morning one of my clients comes to me very upset, end up in tears....

At pick up last night this mom came to get her child, left with child all bundled up coat and all, while she was putting her child into car she seen another client of mine picking up as well, this other client took child 13 months old out to car with no coat or anything just regular clothes that where worn through out the day. First mom was shocked then upset so felt the need to let me know, that with it being -5 out last night that this child should have had something on whether it be a sweater or light coat... She felt that I needed to know for she did not think it was her right to say anything to the other mom. Child came in this morning with no coat or shoes etc.

Should I say something? How would you address it? Do you think that this one mom was over reacting for her child is overly dressed all the time (2 under shirts, fleece jumper, 2 pares of socks and booties, sweater, and coat when they left last night)...

Not 100% sure how to address this one, I did tell mom that I would see how child was brought in this morning and possible talk to other mom.... was child's first day yesterday as well...

Any and all help would be appropriated... thanks ladies...

-5 Celsius? If so, that's 23F....it's about that temp here now and I am outside in a t-shirt.

Personally I'd tell the mom that is concerned to basically mind her own business. Unless she witnesses someone doing something to/with their child that leaves no doubt that the child is in danger, it bothers me to no end that parents have to meddle in how others parent.

She didn't feel it was her right to say anything to the other mom but felt it was her right to drag you into it? Oye'

[mia]

Thank you all

I will let it be for mom does have a snowsuit and hat here in child's cubby for when I go outside....

I myself believe it's not much of an issue at this point for like a few of you said child is leaving warm home to warm car back to warm house..

I will let concerned mom know that I will be keeping an eye on child when they drop off in the mornings to see how child is ( cold, warm, upset, happy, etc).... That if I feel that it warrants a talk for the sake of child's safety then I will do so at that time.

Thank you all again for the insight..

I know I have not been on much lately, been busy... I do hope that you all have had a great season / winter so far....

:hug:

[daycarediva]

Ugh. If the car is warm, it's no problem. I wouldn't want to have to defend one family to another. I might say "If I have reason to suspect child abuse or negligence, I will report it." And leave it at that. Maybe just repeat it as long as the mom keeps pressing the issue.

Is there anything you really need to say to the other parent? Are the kids underdressed for playing inside? Should they be coming with a coat for outdoor play? If yes, then bring that up just to them and don't share with any other families. If no, then don't act as a go-between for a nosy parent. She might be saying she didn't think she had any right to confront the other parent; she actually just wants you to be the buffer for her.

I definitely wouldn't want to get in between two moms!

The newest safety recommendations for car seats are for children to NOT wear coats, so in some ways the first mom is being safer than the second.

If it were just a parent running a child from a heated house to a heated car , it wouldn't warrant comment. But it sounds like this child is not prepared for the day. Not coming in with coat, shoes and hat is a big deal, especially if they haven't left you with spares of those items. What if you had to evacuate the house with the children?

This sums up what I was going to say.

[Leigh]

I'd have informed Nosy Nellie about car seat safety, and about how the safest way to ride in a car seat is with NO coat, snowsuit, etc. I never put one on my child in the car, either, but instead (when he was old enough) covered him with a blanket after strapping in. I'm with BC about the weather-I was outside in shorts and a sleeveless shirt yesterday cutting down cardboard for recycling (and barefoot!).

[daycare]

wow....wait was this the families first day and this mom is already up in others business??


I would just tell the overly concerned mother. To each their own. While some people may find that weather freezing, others may not. I would say it with a huge smile and then walk away.

I am freezing when it's less than 60 degrees, however the rest of my family will not wear a jacket until it's under 50...

[Lovisa]

That mom needs to mind her own business! Others are right, coats/snow suits, etc are NOT to be worn in car seats at all. And walking from a car tot he house is no big deal at all and takes what, 30 seconds to a minute??? Sheesh.

I honestly wouldn't even tell her anything else. It is none of her business. Period.

[Play Care]

Thank you all

I will let it be for mom does have a snowsuit and hat here in child's cubby for when I go outside....

:hug:

Yeah, in that case it's MYOB. If the child seems happy enough and otherwise well cared for, I wouldn't say a word. I'd be thankful the parents grab and run, rather than spend 20 minutes arguing with their kids in my house about putting on full winter gear just to run to the car.

[midaycare]

-5 Celsius? If so, that's 23F....it's about that temp here now and I am outside in a t-shirt.

Personally I'd tell the mom that is concerned to basically mind her own business. Unless she witnesses someone doing something to/with their child that leaves no doubt that the child is in danger, it bothers me to no end that parents have to meddle in how others parent.

She didn't feel it was her right to say anything to the other mom but felt it was her right to drag you into it? Oye'

Oh hahahahahaha! I didn't catch the Celsius. Wow....nosy mom, indeed.

My own ds does not wear a coat in the car, even when it's -5F, for safety reasons. He also runs hot and when he can get away with it, often won't wear a coat outdoors at 20F and above. Stinker!

I won't wear a coat at 25ishF and above. Depends on the sun/wind/etc.