Kids That Don't Listen

[Cat Herder]

DCM is a CNA working 12 hour shifts at a rehab hospital. She drops off at 5:20 am for her 6 am shift, and picks up at 7 pm after she gets done at 6:30 pm. So that is why they are in care for 13.5+ hours, depending on traffic, errands after work, etc. Why so judgemental about the length of time kids are in care? Not everyone is an 8-4 or 9-5 office worker. The aggregate time spent in care is still 40 hours a week, it is just lumped into 3 days instead of 5. We provide 24 hour care if requested because there is an EXTREME need for care for parents working overnight shifts. I just don't get the superior and snobby attitude of some of the people in this forum towards parents and fellow providers. Some of you are like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman who tells Julia Roberts, "Oh those are VERY expensive. YOU couldn't afford them."

Wow. That was one heck of a stress response.

I am talking provider burnout statistics, you are talking emotions.

[Cat Herder]

For lurkers, newbies, parents and anyone wanting a refresher burnout/stress course, this is an awesome free one. PDF. happyface

http://lee.ifas.ufl.edu/fcs/FCSPubs/Childcare_Stress.pdf

[spedmommy4]

I have 2 kids that won't listen to anything I say. Kids are 3.5 yo dcg (in pullups even though she has no clue about potty training) and 5 yo dcb, siblings. Both are socially and developmentally delayed. They are here 3 days a week (I am open 7 days a week) for 13.5+ hours. Neither one listens to directions. The girl will only do something when you YELL at her to do it. She understands, but speaks in gibberish that only mom and dcb can understand. You must repeat the same instructions for the same infractions 10-15 times each day. The boy is very loud, loves violent play, and torments my dog to the point that she hides in corners and under my desk. I got advice to put them in time out, but in order for that to work, I would have to be standing there, physically holding them in the chair for the duration of the time out. Any other suggestions for behavior modification, since I can't afford to terminate?

You've indicated you want to keep these kiddos so I wanted to suggest some tips that may be helpful.

A few things stood out to me: the need to repeat instructions, the child's poorly understood speech, and the child's poor play skills in general. (As demonstrated by grossly inappropriate play)

If they aren't connected with the school district for early childhood special education services, see if the parent are interested and refer. It would be a huge help for them..

A strategy that may be helpful with following directions: keep your directions simple. (if the child is using 1-2 word sentences- directions should be no more that 3-4 words). Talk in context. (If you are asking the child to pick up toys, make sure the toys are in sight). And use gestures.

Set up the environment for success. If the child isn't ready for an animal in the environment right now; best option is separation from your pup until he learns gentle play. (Same goes for if they aren't ready for certain types of toys)

Limit play choices and model appropriate play during interactions.

Instead of time out, for most things you can try showing them what you want them to do instead. They dumped the toys, they have to clean up before the next activity. If the child hit help them to make the other child feel better and problem solve what they can do next time instead. (E.g.: ask for the toy). In my experience, time out is best for attention behaviors or when a child just needs a few minutes to calm down.

HTH

[Blackcat31]

DCM is a CNA working 12 hour shifts at a rehab hospital. She drops off at 5:20 am for her 6 am shift, and picks up at 7 pm after she gets done at 6:30 pm. So that is why they are in care for 13.5+ hours, depending on traffic, errands after work, etc. Why so judgemental about the length of time kids are in care? Not everyone is an 8-4 or 9-5 office worker. The aggregate time spent in care is still 40 hours a week, it is just lumped into 3 days instead of 5. We provide 24 hour care if requested because there is an EXTREME need for care for parents working overnight shifts. I just don't get the superior and snobby attitude of some of the people in this forum towards parents and fellow providers. Some of you are like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman who tells Julia Roberts, "Oh those are VERY expensive. YOU couldn't afford them."

If this is still the case in your area, then I would think that you would have some options for filling the open spaces. Maybe offering overnight or second shift care and then finding a part time job outside of the over night or second shift duties.

fwiw~ I am offering a reply as a suggestion or a means to help not be condescending or rude as previously assumed.

I think there comes a time when you have to realize things aren't working and you have to open your mind to exploring other ideas or suggestions. Somewhere in the middle of all the support and advice others have posted/suggested over the last 2 years, there is an answer but if you are in the same boat or worse than you were in Jan 2017...then something HAS to change.

Like I said previously, I'm sorry you are feeling so defeated and I sincerely hope it will get better for you and your wife.

[Flowerchild]

None of mine listen ���� I resort to yelling cuz if I don't they wont get in line. Flashback to year one teaching ��

[ardeur]

DCM is a CNA working 12 hour shifts at a rehab hospital. She drops off at 5:20 am for her 6 am shift, and picks up at 7 pm after she gets done at 6:30 pm. So that is why they are in care for 13.5+ hours, depending on traffic, errands after work, etc. Why so judgemental about the length of time kids are in care? Not everyone is an 8-4 or 9-5 office worker. The aggregate time spent in care is still 40 hours a week, it is just lumped into 3 days instead of 5. We provide 24 hour care if requested because there is an EXTREME need for care for parents working overnight shifts. I just don't get the superior and snobby attitude of some of the people in this forum towards parents and fellow providers. Some of you are like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman who tells Julia Roberts, "Oh those are VERY expensive. YOU couldn't afford them."

I have a family of nurses who only work 12 hour shifts. They need care for almost 14 hours those days: 12hr shift+1hr lunch+50 minutes for their commute. I am only open ten hours a day. Originally I did consider doing those longest days for them but thankfully their extended family was able to pull through to care for dcg those extra hours.

[Unregistered]

DCM is a CNA working 12 hour shifts at a rehab hospital. She drops off at 5:20 am for her 6 am shift, and picks up at 7 pm after she gets done at 6:30 pm. So that is why they are in care for 13.5+ hours, depending on traffic, errands after work, etc. Why so judgemental about the length of time kids are in care? Not everyone is an 8-4 or 9-5 office worker. The aggregate time spent in care is still 40 hours a week, it is just lumped into 3 days instead of 5. We provide 24 hour care if requested because there is an EXTREME need for care for parents working overnight shifts. I just don't get the superior and snobby attitude of some of the people in this forum towards parents and fellow providers. Some of you are like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman who tells Julia Roberts, "Oh those are VERY expensive. YOU couldn't afford them."

So glad somebody finally said this. There are some folks on here who just know everything. And they also have very strong opinions.