Hate, Hate, Hate Sending Home Bad Reports

[Baby Beluga]

The past two weeks new 12 month old has taken to climbing on people. It started with him climbing on older brother and has moved to climbing/sitting on other children. So much so that the other children are unable to play because they are saying "Johnny get off of me" and moving themselves thus interrupting their play. Obviously this is a safety issue and I am having to separate 12 month old to be in his own center.

I asked older brother today if 12 month old and himself wrestled at home. He said yes.

I asked mom at pick up if they wrestled at home (and explained why I asked.) Mom said no, they snuggle and they tickle each other (which I understand is normal sibling interaction.) Generally I don't see this behavior from cuddling and tickling though, I see it from wrestling.

Mom was visibly upset as two negatives were discussed today: DCK having a rough day (screaming spells) and the climbing/sitting on other children. It's always such a toss up between 1) do I tell the parents what really happened and risk them getting upset and pulling their child or 2) do I not say anything and deal with it myself? I don't want 12 month old to be separated, but I also don't want another child to get hurt.

[Ariana]

I think we all hate it and it is the worst part of our job but it has to be done. I mention things to get a response and if I am not getting any response then I will stop mentioning it and begin the term process. I dont worry about moms feelings. I worry about my kids and my daycare environment.

There are times when I don't bother to say anything but a child hurting other kids is a problem. I would absolutely seperate that child if he kept climbing on others. It is a natural consequence to his actions. He has to learn to control it even at this age.

[childcaremom]

I think we all hate it and it is the worst part of our job but it has to be done. I mention things to get a response and if I am not getting any response then I will stop mentioning it and begin the term process. I dont worry about moms feelings. I worry about my kids and my daycare environment.

There are times when I don't bother to say anything but a child hurting other kids is a problem. I would absolutely seperate that child if he kept climbing on others. It is a natural consequence to his actions. He has to learn to control it even at this age.

If it is something that I cannot tolerate for a long period of time, or something that I am unable to control in the group environment, then I do discuss it with parents. Simply because I will term for aggression and safety issues and I want parents to try to help solve things.

I just termed my aggressor. Dcm was upset but completely on the same page because she said it was too stressful to hear every day. I agreed and completely understand. I would rather lose an aggressive child then deal with the behaviour on a daily basis, though.

[Baby Beluga]

Thanks ladies, it is no nice to come here and vent.

I am such a safety nut. I don't hover over the children but I feel I have created a safe environment for them. Having a child who climbs and sits on others is not safe.

I know none of us like sending bad reports home, and I know no parent likes to receive them. But I am also a provider who will not tolerate aggressive behavior. I did it for almost 2 years (my choice) with another child and when he was gone I was so amazed at how well our days went and just how much I love this job. So now my fuse for dealing with aggression is even shorter. Here is to hoping it improves!

[Blackcat31]

The past two weeks new 12 month old has taken to climbing on people. It started with him climbing on older brother and has moved to climbing/sitting on other children. So much so that the other children are unable to play because they are saying "Johnny get off of me" and moving themselves thus interrupting their play. Obviously this is a safety issue and I am having to separate 12 month old to be in his own center.

I asked older brother today if 12 month old and himself wrestled at home. He said yes.

I asked mom at pick up if they wrestled at home (and explained why I asked.) Mom said no, they snuggle and they tickle each other (which I understand is normal sibling interaction.) Generally I don't see this behavior from cuddling and tickling though, I see it from wrestling.

Mom was visibly upset as two negatives were discussed today: DCK having a rough day (screaming spells) and the climbing/sitting on other children. It's always such a toss up between 1) do I tell the parents what really happened and risk them getting upset and pulling their child or 2) do I not say anything and deal with it myself? I don't want 12 month old to be separated, but I also don't want another child to get hurt.

I understand not wanting to go this route but I think it's honestly the ONLY way you are going to avoid anyone hurting him or him hurting or causing others to be hurt.

Here, I don't let ANY one touch my babies. Babies are anyone under 2 so any wrestling, "snuggling" and tickling that occurs between siblings happens at home and NOT on my watch. I have several sets of siblings that do exactly what yours do. They don't touch their younger sibling here. ever.

NannyDe has a great method of training older kids to let the baby be so that baby isn't harmed unintentionally while the other kids are trying to defend or protect themselves from Tiny Tarzan wanting to climb them.

Surrender to the baby might not work entirely for you but the whole article has some excellent tips/ideas!

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/surrender-to-the-baby.htm

[Play Care]

I understand not wanting to go this route but I think it's honestly the ONLY way you are going to avoid anyone hurting him or him hurting or causing others to be hurt.

Here, I don't let ANY one touch my babies. Babies are anyone under 2 so any wrestling, "snuggling" and tickling that occurs between siblings happens at home and NOT on my watch. I have several sets of siblings that do exactly what yours do. They don't touch their younger sibling here. ever.

NannyDe has a great method of training older kids to let the baby be so that baby isn't harmed unintentionally while the other kids are trying to defend or protect themselves from Tiny Tarzan wanting to climb them.

Surrender to the baby might not work entirely for you but the whole article has some excellent tips/ideas!

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/surr...o-the-baby.htm

This. When I have a full house, the under 2's are rarely in "gen pop" unless they play well with others. Generally they are too young to understand why they can't roll on friends.

[Baby Beluga]

Thank you for sharing BC, I look forward to reading the article. Nan always has such good advice, especially when dealing with the really little ones.

I think this situation would be easier if it were the older children who were doing the touching. Unfortunately"tiny tarzan" pretty much sums it up! He is the one climbing on everyone and everything. Oye.

FWIW I have just kept him separated today. It wasn't worth the hassle to add him into the older group with how bad yesterday was. He can still talk and interact with the children - he us just without of arms reach. Today I have noticed older brother has been enticing little brother to get out of his center (I use rugs for marking boundaries. I just can't bring myself to use the play yard. Oye x 2

[Micha]

The past two weeks new 12 month old has taken to climbing on people. It started with him climbing on older brother and has moved to climbing/sitting on other children. So much so that the other children are unable to play because they are saying "Johnny get off of me" and moving themselves thus interrupting their play. Obviously this is a safety issue and I am having to separate 12 month old to be in his own center.

I asked older brother today if 12 month old and himself wrestled at home. He said yes.

I asked mom at pick up if they wrestled at home (and explained why I asked.) Mom said no, they snuggle and they tickle each other (which I understand is normal sibling interaction.) Generally I don't see this behavior from cuddling and tickling though, I see it from wrestling.

Mom was visibly upset as two negatives were discussed today: DCK having a rough day (screaming spells) and the climbing/sitting on other children. It's always such a toss up between 1) do I tell the parents what really happened and risk them getting upset and pulling their child or 2) do I not say anything and deal with it myself? I don't want 12 month old to be separated, but I also don't want another child to get hurt.

You absolutely have to tell parents the truth about what is happening at DC. If you don't keep them informed #1 it is harder to terminate if need be & #2 when the children move on to public school or another facility and the administrator there tells the parent how the children are behaving it will be a complete shock to the parents. That's no good for all involved.