That One Child......

[trippingontoys]

I also think we need more of a schedule. I am a go with the flow sitter. And I sometimes think the lack of scheduled activities makes them a little hyper. So that's going to be my first change. Then if he is being bad, he won't get to participate in the activity we are doing. Also, maybe a reward chart. I am thinking about getting tablets but they will have to earn tI'm to play.

[Pestle]

A tighter schedule helped with my challenging siblings; when there's free play they're up in each other's faces, high-strung and miserable. When we move smoothly from circle time to reading to craft to lunch and so forth, it's much easier to keep them in their own zones away from each other.

[Ariana]

Absolutely free play can be destructive with certain kids so I would change that right away.

[cassiesue]

I agree with the others in regard to creating and sticking to a schedule. Also agree with the suggestion of letting the children that did behave engage in a coveted activity. I just started this recently with an older dcb that is not yet potty trained. My issue with dcb is not resolved yet, but I see that it has sparked dcb's interest and she wants to participate in the activities that only the Potty Experts (kids that have managed to win against the pee and poo) can do.

I am not going to debate spanking either. However, earlier today I was at the grocery store. While there I witnessed a mom chastise then spank one of her kids. The mother actually yelled during this "discipline" that "you shouldn't hit your sister because she is littler than you are". I believe she failed to grasp the irony of her statement ::

I live in the Bible belt. Most people in my area subscribe to the "spare the rod, spoil the child" train of thought. However, I have never understood the logic in trying to teach someone not to hit, by hitting them. :confused:

[Leigh]

Is he spanked at home? I find the worst behaved children are the ones who are hit. NOTHING you can do will 'top' that, and once they realize you aren't a physical threat, they rule at your house and it's nearly impossible to stop.

I agree with BC- I cringe when a provider will not let a child go when it negatively affects the other children in care.

I also agree with Ariana, he needs natural consequences and a LOT of ignoring/redirecting/positive reinforcement.

"If you can't use nice words, you cannot play with your friends. You sit here and color." (do something fun with the other kids)

I find giving expectations up front to be helpful for kids. We are doing X, we will (use nice words, inside voices, walking feet, gentle hands, whatever your rules will be for the activity). THEN give ONE reminder. "Oh, dcb, that's not the limit. If you do that again you will go sit and do a puzzle alone." and FOLLOW THROUGH.

I agree-kids who are spanked at home are ALWAYS the worst behaved at my home. Spanking is one of the things I ask about in interviews now because those kids KNOW I won't spank them, sometimes, they even ask (they get told no, ask "are you going to spank me", I explain that I don't do that, and they think, I can do whatever I want because SHE won't hit me).

For this kid, you need to find out what DOES motivate him to behave (privileges, toys, etc.) and use that. Even if time-out doesn't work, I'd still do a time-in, and have him stay with you.