Have You Ever Had a DCP Discipline Your Child in Front of You?

[Indoorvoice]

I don't care how much she apologized, grandma would NOT be allowed to pick up anymore. NO WAY IN HELL would I allow my child to be treated that way in their own home.

I couldn't care less about my relationship with the parent or the potential income loss. I would explain it to the child's parent- it's the same protection I would extend to my daycare kids. How would they have felt had an adult spoke to their child that way? I actually have a section in my handbook about NOT speaking to or even ABOUT other children in my care.

I'm struggling with this. Grandma picks up at least 3 days a week and she always picks up early so I like that . If grandma didn't pick up I would never get off early. The problem is that she doesn't come at a consistent early time. Sometimes it's an hour early, sometimes only 15 minutes. If I could have it so she didn't have any access to other kids and she would just come in and out, it wouldn't be an issue but she talks way too much. I just need to figure out how to do it. I'm really embarrassed that my dd did that and I know she shouldn't have so I also feel bad repremanding the grandma even though she didn't handle it in an appropriate manner.

[TXhomedaycare]

The fact that the grandparent apologized profusely helps. We all get defensive sometimes. I can see a grandparent getting defensive of their grandchild and overstepping. That she apologized and understands she overstepped is what would matter to me. I would communicate that it will never happen again, let them know you will term if it does then move on.

As for my kids interacting with dcps at pickups. I am working on that. I worry about their ability to kill income as they are desperate for attention by 5pm and can be monsters for the other parents. I have started letting my 5yo and 7 yo go upstairs to watch a cartoon for the last 30 min of the day. If they haven't earned that, then they are at a table activity and don't leave the area when a parent arrives. The trick is my newly turned 3yo monster DD . Though Friday we started working on, when I see a dcp arrive, she runs to my special chair and sits quietly until the parent and dck leave. Then she gets and M&M before returning to play. She loved it. She will do a lot for an M&M Working on training all children to stay in their area until I tell them it is their parent and to get their shoes. Its hard though!

I was thinking along the same lines. Sometimes I feel people are too quick to term. I don't think grandma's intent was bad she just handled a situation poorly. She definitely needs to be given a talk about not letting that happen again but I would give her a second chance.

I also have issues with my kids at pickup (2 yo and 5 yo) and I let them watch tv in the back or play in their rooms because they just cannot handle not having attention by the time we get to 5. They are over daycare by then so they can do almost anything else or if they choose to be in the daycare room they have to stay at the table while any parents are present. I will not open the front door unless all the kids are seated.

[Snowmom]

I would just have a candid talk with her then.

"Gma, I know the last time you were here, the situation with dd really upset you. I do understand that dd acted inappropriately, but I need you to know that all child discipline beyond YOUR child, is handled by me.
My plan going forward, so this doesn't happen again, is that pick up time will be as brief as possible to minimize disturbances to the remaining group of children.
Please come in, gather dck's things and sign out. If there are things mom needs to touch base with me about, she can contact me before 6pm or touch base the next morning. Thank you for understanding."

[TheMisplacedMidwestMom]

I would just have a candid talk with her then.

"Gma, I know the last time you were here, the situation with dd really upset you. I do understand that dd acted inappropriately, but I need you to know that all child discipline beyond YOUR child, is handled by me.
My plan going forward, so this doesn't happen again, is that pick up time will be as brief as possible to minimize disturbances to the remaining group of children.
Please come in, gather dck's things and sign out. If there are things mom needs to touch base with me about, she can contact me before 6pm or touch base the next morning. Thank you for understanding."

This exactly. Use it to your advantage! Now you have a reason to bring up the "set a time and keep it brief" conversation. If she really did apologize, and felt bad for it, should be an easy transition into making it work for you.

[Pestle]

I agree with the folks who say to have a brief come-to-Jesus meeting with her. I'd emphasize:
-If a child misbehaves, discipline is always administered by myself and in a consistent way, so that the children learn long-term lessons
-Discipline here is proactive, not reactionary: If an adult is steamed, that adult needs to step back instead of lashing out
-Discipline here NEVER involves name-calling