What Would You Say?

[jenboo]

Dcb cries anytime he is awake and not being held. The classic as soon as you pick him up he turns it off.

Every day mom asks how dcb was. Every day i tell her dcb cried most of the day... anytime he wasn't being held.

I feel bad saying this every day but it's the truth and i don't want to lie. Idk why i feel so bad. I'm a daycare provider not a nanny.

Would you keep saying this to mom or would you say something different.

[daycarediva]

He's still struggling when not receiving individual attention.

Had a hard time being put down today.

Difficult morning during group play activities on the floor.

Same as yesterday!

What are you doing at home to help him succeed in group care?

[jenboo]

He's still struggling when not receiving individual attention.

Had a hard time being put down today.

Difficult morning during group play activities on the floor.

Same as yesterday!

What are you doing at home to help him succeed in group care?

Thanks! The variety is nice.

[Blackcat31]

Dcb cries anytime he is awake and not being held. The classic as soon as you pick him up he turns it off.

Every day mom asks how dcb was. Every day i tell her dcb cried most of the day... anytime he wasn't being held.

I feel bad saying this every day but it's the truth and i don't want to lie. Idk why i feel so bad. I'm a daycare provider not a nanny.

Would you keep saying this to mom or would you say something different.

Is this a child that is in your trial period or a child that has been attending a while?

Does mom (or someone) hold 24/7 when home?

Is this a new behavior for child or just the way they've been from day 1?

Are you open to terming or just needing to find a way to make it work?

[midaycare]

I don't think I read the age? I have a 4 month old who cries when not being held. He's a treat Held 24/7 at home. He's only here Thursday and Friday. No way I could do it 5 days a week.

Most kids get out of this stage. It just takes a few months, even for older kids.

How long in your care? My dcg who started Labor day weekend stopped crying 1 month in (she's here 3 days a week). She stopped crying at dropoff about 3 weeks ago. She started at 18 months. Still cries if I leave the room.

[jenboo]

Is this a child that is in your trial period or a child that has been attending a while?

Does mom (or someone) hold 24/7 when home?

Is this a new behavior for child or just the way they've been from day 1?

Are you open to terming or just needing to find a way to make it work?

He has been here 6 months. He used to be super happy but is getting grumpier and grumpier. I think as he is getting grumpier, they are holding him more.
I don't want to term, but i don't care if they term. He is only here a few hours a day and naps for most of it so the crying doesn't really bother me. I just for some reason feel bad telling mom he cries the whole time he is awake.

[Blackcat31]

He has been here 6 months. He used to be super happy but is getting grumpier and grumpier. I think as he is getting grumpier, they are holding him more.
I don't want to term, but i don't care if they term. He is only here a few hours a day and naps for most of it so the crying doesn't really bother me. I just for some reason feel bad telling mom he cries the whole time he is awake.

In that case, since the conversation at pick up with mom is the real issue here, I'd stop giving long drawn out explanations or descriptions of how he is and just say "Same" and move on immediately to another subject.

At Pick up
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same as yesterday"

Next day
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same"

Next day
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same."

Rinse and repeat.

She is more than likely asking because it's simply what's expected but if his crying isn't leading to you terming or isn't for any specific reason (meeting pre-determined goals etc) I would just keep it short and sweet.

Details are usually only required when you are trying to "fix" something or forewarn a parent about possible termination.

If this isn't something you aren't worried about during the day, just keep replying with "same."

She can take that for what it's worth or not.

[Ariana]

Around this age kids go through major seperation anxiety too and it can last several weeks to a couple of months. Might be what is going on here.

[jenboo]

I don't think I read the age? I have a 4 month old who cries when not being held. He's a treat Held 24/7 at home. He's only here Thursday and Friday. No way I could do it 5 days a week.

Most kids get out of this stage. It just takes a few months, even for older kids.

How long in your care? My dcg who started Labor day weekend stopped crying 1 month in (she's here 3 days a week). She stopped crying at dropoff about 3 weeks ago. She started at 18 months. Still cries if I leave the room.

Almost 8 months old. He has been here almost 6 months.

[jenboo]

Around this age kids go through major seperation anxiety too and it can last several weeks to a couple of months. Might be what is going on here.

He is happy to be handed over at drop off. He will play a few minutes and then starts crying. Even if he is sitting in my lap he cries. Once he is in my arms he stops.

[jenboo]

In that case, since the conversation at pick up with mom is the real issue here, I'd stop giving long drawn out explanations or descriptions of how he is and just say "Same" and move on immediately to another subject.

At Pick up
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same as yesterday"

Next day
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same"

Next day
DCM: "How was DCB today"
Provider: "Same."

Rinse and repeat.

She is more than likely asking because it's simply what's expected but if his crying isn't leading to you terming or isn't for any specific reason (meeting pre-determined goals etc) I would just keep it short and sweet.

Details are usually only required when you are trying to "fix" something or forewarn a parent about possible termination.

If this isn't something you aren't worried about during the day, just keep replying with "same."

She can take that for what it's worth or not.

Same.
I like it.

[Leigh]

Dcb cries anytime he is awake and not being held. The classic as soon as you pick him up he turns it off.

Every day mom asks how dcb was. Every day i tell her dcb cried most of the day... anytime he wasn't being held.

I feel bad saying this every day but it's the truth and i don't want to lie. Idk why i feel so bad. I'm a daycare provider not a nanny.

Would you keep saying this to mom or would you say something different.

I've had kids like this. I tell the parents that I have nerves of steel-crying doesn't affect me like it does other people, but I feel that the CHILD deserves better, and that they NEED to help the child feel secure on his or her own. I give them instructions to interact with the child as much as possible on the floor-feed on the floor, play on the floor, cuddle on the floor, etc. Help the child feel safe and secure when NOT held. Stress that it is for the CHILD that this MUST be done.

[jenboo]

I've had kids like this. I tell the parents that I have nerves of steel-crying doesn't affect me like it does other people, but I feel that the CHILD deserves better, and that they NEED to help the child feel secure on his or her own. I give them instructions to interact with the child as much as possible on the floor-feed on the floor, play on the floor, cuddle on the floor, etc. Help the child feel safe and secure when NOT held. Stress that it is for the CHILD that this MUST be done.

Its weird because he wasn't like this before. Mom put a lot of effort into not holding him too much and putting him on the floor to play. She does interact with him constantly though. I'm not able to do that.
I think as he has been getting fussier, mom and dad are holding him more.

Usually, i start fussy babies and then they get better, not the other way around.

[Leigh]

Its weird because he wasn't like this before. Mom put a lot of effort into not holding him too much and putting him on the floor to play. She does interact with him constantly though. I'm not able to do that.
I think as he has been getting fussier, mom and dad are holding him more.

Usually, i start fussy babies and then they get better, not the other way around.

How old is he? I find that a LOT of babies go through a phase like this around 9-10 months.

[jenboo]

How old is he? I find that a LOT of babies go through a phase like this around 9-10 months.

Almost 8