Potential Family with Two Moms

[Unregistered]

I am interviewing a family that has two Moms! I personally think diversity is really important and and am very 'pro inclusion'. I have a diverse group of kids and feel that if a 'gay' family is a good fit, and they want to enroll, I would be thrilled to have them.

The kids may have questions, but kids are usually 'matter of fact' when they notice differences. My concern is that some of my other parents may be uncomfortable with it. I really do not care what other people think, but unfortunately it has the potential to affect my income. I am not going to announce it or anything, but they may notice at drop off and pick up time.

To me they are just like any other family, as long as they treat their child well and are respectful to me, I'm good.

Have any of you had this experience before, and did any of your other parents respond in a negative way?

[DaveA]

I doubt you'll have many (if any) problems. I've had same sex and a poly family in center classrooms. I never had any parents say or do anything stupid. I've never had it in my home program, but I imagine I it would be even less of an issue here. There are fewer parents to deal with and they know me better, so they would know how little patience for adult's drama I have.

[iRadiateLove]

I guess my situation is a bit different being as though I'm the day care provider and I have a wife and two kids. I was very apprehensive and nervous when I opened my day care three years ago. I didn't know how the parents would feel bringing their children to a daycare home ran by one half of a two mom family, but, here I am three years later and my day care has no vacancies! My parents adore the care that I provide and have never seemed to express any negativity about my family dynamic. I have began to purchase books about diverse families because children do ask questions but we all know that the children are more open and loving than most adults.

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't worry one bit what other parents might or might not think. Love knows no race, no stereotypes and no boundaries.

If you provide a loving caring environment to the children in your care, who cares what parents dropping off or picking up might think of other families doing the same.

I think honestly if another family actually had the audacity to come to me "concerned" I would probably not want that particular family to continue attending.

People are welcome to have their own opinions, thoughts and judgments but it's their issue to manage not mine.

I would welcome a child that was a good fit no matter what the family dynamics are or aren't.

Like you said, children see love with honesty and clarity. lovethis

[daycarediva]

I have had two moms, two dads, divorced parents, adopted parents, single dads, single moms, different races/religions.

If they're a good fit for my program, they're a good fit, regardless of anything else.

[laundrymom]

If a parent has the same parenting values I do, pays and picks up on time, follows rules, and treats me with respect, they are welcome here.
I don't care who they love. I do however, have a problem w someone who has a different lifestyle than mine trying to bully me into a debate about our differences.
What I mean by that is:: I have had to request couples not to "make out" while here.
I was accused of not accepting their lifestyle. I was yelled at. Belittled and told I was the problem with America.
Nope. I just think Your 18 mo olds daycare is the wrong place for petting and tongue kissing.
I would have requested the same of any couple. This particular couple now has a reputation in town for pushing social boundaries. For trying to make others uncomfortable.
They are the exception and not the norm. The ones pushing sexual affection in everyone's face at every festival, parade, social happening.
I dont care what parts you have, I don't want to see them when I'm out and about.

[childcaremom]

I am interviewing a family that has two Moms! I personally think diversity is really important and and am very 'pro inclusion'. I have a diverse group of kids and feel that if a 'gay' family is a good fit, and they want to enroll, I would be thrilled to have them.

The kids may have questions, but kids are usually 'matter of fact' when they notice differences. My concern is that some of my other parents may be uncomfortable with it. I really do not care what other people think, but unfortunately it has the potential to affect my income. I am not going to announce it or anything, but they may notice at drop off and pick up time.

To me they are just like any other family, as long as they treat their child well and are respectful to me, I'm good.

Have any of you had this experience before, and did any of your other parents respond in a negative way?

I would be upset if any of my dcps commented on another family. To the point that I would term and not look back.

I don't care about family make up: gender, race, age, any other characteristic. All that matters is that they are a good fit for my program. Other dcps don't have a say in who attends or doesn't. Anyone who thinks that they do gets shown the door.

[daycare]

didn't read them all

I don't get why this is a big deal. loads of families have two moms and two dads. It's all how you look at it.

My daughter has two moms. Me and her step mom.

I would not even bring it up, its not our place to do so. If anyone questions it, I would say nothing and smile. If the kids question it, then I would say every family is unique and drop it. It will only become what YOU Make of it.

If any of my families were upset about it, they are always welcome to leave.

[Unregistered]

From the OP here, I agree with your sentiments. I am very supportive of diversity in families. It really isn't my other families' business what a family's structure is, as long as there is no negative impact on their child.

I honesty don't think anyone is going to say anything. They should know that if I take a family, then I am cool with it and will give them the best of care (just like anyone else).

If they want to be bigoted, they can go somewhere else.

[Unregistered]

Why is this post tagged as 'wtf'? (and yes, I know what that means)

[Gibson1110]

I agree with the sentiment that if other families have a problem with it, then it is a reflection of their character and gives you a clue as to whether you want that in your program. I identify as a lesbian and provide home care in a smaller town. While it was truly terrifying in the beginning whether I would be accepted I finally realized that if someone was going to judge not for the type of care I provided then I really didn't want them as clients anyway. I actually have become a much better provider because I don't feel shame anymore and I get to work at what I am skilled at.

As far as the other children, there is a book by Todd Parr I believe called "Different families" and they breifly talk about some families having two moms or two dads. It's very non intrusive way to just explain that everyone's family dynamic is different and that's ok. As long as the new family can follow the policies you have in place it could be a really good thing like you said to teach inclusion and diversity. I think it's awesome you run a program that is interested in alllowing diversity. SOme would be scared to. Best of luck with everything!

[daycare]

Why is this post tagged as 'wtf'? (and yes, I know what that means)

Not sure why it would be tagged that.

I hope that you were able to get some validation you were looking for Often we need to know that WE are really ok with something before we really run with it.

I love this form, it really helps me validate when I second guess myself.

[cassiesue]

The 4-year-old twin girls I keep have 2 moms. It has not been an issue at all. In fact, in the last 2 years I have only had 1 other parent even comment on it. Generally this family is like my others and only one of them is present for drop-offs and pick-ups. I also purchased the book by Todd Parr that Gibson mentioned. It is called The Family Book. It covers many types of families and is age appropriate.