Would You Say Something?

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  • Unregistered

    Would You Say Something?

    Hey everyone. Most of my parents I know from either having their older kids in the past or they're a relative or friend of former parents. Anyway, this new mom started almost two months ago. She's very over the top with her dressing. Like five pounds of make up, hair and nails like always done, and very expensive clothes and shoes. Anyway, on Friday she left her Chanel purse on my counter while she dropped off. Many of the other mothers felt mad and told me they feel she's "bragging". I do think maybe she did it to be a show off. As she's tried many times to "show" off to me or like tip me, but I'm not impressed/not going to show favoritism. Since it caused a stir, I was thinking of speaking to her about it. DH says not to. On the other hand, I would speak to someone if say they were dressing too sexy and it bothered the other parents. Would you say something? Especially if other parents were upset?
  • LysesKids
    Daycare.com Member
    • May 2014
    • 2836

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered
    Hey everyone. Most of my parents I know from either having their older kids in the past or they're a relative or friend of former parents. Anyway, this new mom started almost two months ago. She's very over the top with her dressing. Like five pounds of make up, hair and nails like always done, and very expensive clothes and shoes. Anyway, on Friday she left her Chanel purse on my counter while she dropped off. Many of the other mothers felt mad and told me they feel she's "bragging". I do think maybe she did it to be a show off. As she's tried many times to "show" off to me or like tip me, but I'm not impressed/not going to show favoritism. Since it caused a stir, I was thinking of speaking to her about it. DH says not to. On the other hand, I would speak to someone if say they were dressing too sexy and it bothered the other parents. Would you say something? Especially if other parents were upset?
    I had this mom 4 years ago, however it turned out all her pretty "uppity" stuff was bought thru 2nd hand stores, or trades or yard sales; she wanted to act the part, which was off putting to most of us because that's the type of people she hung with... her priorities never changed even when hubby got arrested - daycare wasn't first priority, her stuff & how her kid was dressed was & she would blame other things/people for her bad luck; came back to bite her in the a** when I confronted one of the people she accused of causing $$ issues. Turns out she lied about a lot of stuff. I would say something , but only because I have a small group that acts like family - none of us are uppity or better than the others

    Comment

    • Josiegirl
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jun 2013
      • 10834

      #3
      I probably wouldn't say anything. Let is slide off your shoulders and maybe tell dcps to do the same. BUT I'd think about raising her rates. A LOT.

      Comment

      • CalCare
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jul 2015
        • 665

        #4
        I would probably be really annoyed by the lady myself but I can't imagine saying anything. I don't really understand what you would even say. Do you mean you would tell her not to show off? Maybe I missed some of what you're saying in the post.

        It reminds me of when my oldest was a baby. Well, I live in an area that has people with a LOT and people with a little. When I used to go to a parent/child class withy son, there was this group of three moms that all had Louis vuitton diaper bags. They also joined another parenting group I was in, and became volunteers for it, as did I. So, we had a lot of connections at various classes and meetings and they each drove me up the wall. I couldn't help it. I just couldn't stand them because of the ostentatious act. The really irking thing was that if only one of them was around, that one would try to socialize with me (because I was their backup person to talk to if none of their friends were there). Couldn't stand them!

        Anyway, I really can't imagine your person really intentionally left her bag there for people to see. That seems kinda nutso! She had to have forgotten it. But then, I always make excuses for nutsos and they usually do turn out to be real nutsos. Haha

        Oh and sexy dressing? I wouldn't say anything about that. Unless there was foul language or inappropriate graphics for kids on the clothes?

        Comment

        • daycare
          Advanced Daycare.com *********
          • Feb 2011
          • 16259

          #5
          Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
          as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

          Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

          This is just silly.

          Comment

          • Unregistered

            #6
            Its none of your business or the other families business how she dresses, how she does her makeup, or what purses she carries. None.
            If she pays you on time and follows the rules then no. Why are you gossiping about her with the other mothers?

            Comment

            • Nurse Jackie
              new provider
              • Mar 2015
              • 261

              #7
              Originally posted by daycare
              Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
              as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

              Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

              This is just silly.
              I agree with Daycare and Unregistered. The whole story just sounds petty to me.

              Comment

              • Josiegirl
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jun 2013
                • 10834

                #8
                Originally posted by Nurse Jackie
                I agree with Daycare and Unregistered. The whole story just sounds petty to me.
                I know I've already replied but totally agree with the pettiness of it all. If dcm is a good mom, pays you on time, isn't disrespectful(well, you know all the regular stuff a good dcp should do ), then this really shouldn't be an issue. It falls under the saying of 'ya can't please everybody'. We are all different; we should be celebrating our differences, not showing our jealousy because in the end, a fancy handbag and loads of make-up don't mean squat. Now if that's rubbing off on her child, teach the kids as a whole, the things that matter in life.

                Comment

                • Mad_Pistachio
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Jun 2015
                  • 621

                  #9
                  Originally posted by daycare
                  Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
                  as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

                  Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

                  This is just silly.
                  Yeah, +100500.
                  Return the purse and react not to other parents.
                  Wtf... sorry.
                  I wear loads of makeup and fancy dresses, why is it anyone's business...

                  Comment

                  • Gemma
                    Childcare Provider
                    • Mar 2015
                    • 1277

                    #10
                    Originally posted by daycare
                    Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
                    as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

                    Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

                    This is just silly.
                    I was thinking this too.

                    Comment

                    • kendallina
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Jul 2010
                      • 1660

                      #11
                      Originally posted by daycare
                      Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
                      as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

                      Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

                      This is just silly.
                      Um, yeh this. I think the question is ridiculous.

                      Comment

                      • Unregistered

                        #12
                        Originally posted by daycare
                        Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
                        as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

                        Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

                        This is just silly.
                        Agree.

                        Comment

                        • Ariana
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Jun 2011
                          • 8969

                          #13
                          This would not bother me at all! I have been known to carry a fancy bag or two

                          Sounds like everyone is just jealous

                          Comment

                          • Play Care
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Dec 2012
                            • 6642

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered
                            Its none of your business or the other families business how she dresses, how she does her makeup, or what purses she carries. None.
                            If she pays you on time and follows the rules then no. Why are you gossiping about her with the other mothers?
                            I totally agree.
                            If one of my dcp's left their purse at my house (though no one has ever carried one in) I would put it away and give them a call.
                            You almost can't win. If you go out in yoga pants, you're a slob. If you take time and do yourself up, you're putting on airs.

                            Comment

                            • Cat Herder
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 13744

                              #15
                              I know a mom like this. Have known and loved her most her life. We started kindergarten together and have remained in touch.

                              What others don't know is that she came up through foster care, her belongings carried from house to house in garbage bags. At 18 she was left to fend for herself.

                              Without a college degree she started her own business and has recently found unexpected success. That success has landed her a new environment with a new group of friends that she is still trying to adjust to. To her, the culture is different and intimidating. Many of her old friends have turned on her; demanding handouts and gossiping about her family out of jealousy.

                              The recent "plumage displays" are all about her insecurities, inside she is still the same sweet girl I knew simply trying to fit in. I expect this phase will be short lived, she is pretty resilient and awesome that way.
                              - Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.

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