I am Exhausted - VENT

[Unregistered]

I have been having issues with one 2.5yo dcb for months now. I am exhausted. I know this is a terrible reason to keep them around but I can't afford to let them go and I have not had any other prospects in months. Yes, I am attached to this child as he has been with me since birth, but I am so drained. All of the fun and joy I used to have doing this job is GONE. I cannot do anything with the children as a group. I am constantly having to shadow this one child because if I don't, he is harming the other children in one way or another. Many days are filled with screaming and tantrums and I have no idea how to stop them. I redirect, I talk about feelings with the child, I do time out, anything I can think of I have tried and nothing works. This child's parents are awesome and follow the same guidelines at home and nothing makes a difference. I know some of the issues I am having are typical of the age, I have taken care of many little ones, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I used to LOVE doing this job, now I count down the seconds until my day is over. This is just a vent as I have no one else to talk about this to, and already, at this early hour, I can tell it's going to be one of those days!

[rosieteddy]

So sorry your feeling overwhelmed. I know how stressful it can be. When my group had a child like this we tended to go for a couple of walks a day.The under 2 were in the stroller over2 walked holding on also with safety straps attatched to them and stroller.Around the block then outdoor play 2 twice a day.I also did more structured activities.Less free play.I hope its just a faze and he will come around soon.Good luck.

[Blackcat31]

I have been having issues with one 2.5yo dcb for months now. I am exhausted. I know this is a terrible reason to keep them around but I can't afford to let them go and I have not had any other prospects in months. Yes, I am attached to this child as he has been with me since birth, but I am so drained. All of the fun and joy I used to have doing this job is GONE. I cannot do anything with the children as a group. I am constantly having to shadow this one child because if I don't, he is harming the other children in one way or another. Many days are filled with screaming and tantrums and I have no idea how to stop them. I redirect, I talk about feelings with the child, I do time out, anything I can think of I have tried and nothing works. This child's parents are awesome and follow the same guidelines at home and nothing makes a difference. I know some of the issues I am having are typical of the age, I have taken care of many little ones, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I used to LOVE doing this job, now I count down the seconds until my day is over. This is just a vent as I have no one else to talk about this to, and already, at this early hour, I can tell it's going to be one of those days!

I am sorry you are feeling so stressed.

Everything we do is a compromise of some sort....

If the income from this child is worth the stress and exhaustion, then keep him.

If it becomes too high of a price to pay, let him go.

My time, sanity and sense of self-worth are far more valuable to me than the money.
At one time in my life/career, the money was more valuable. But no longer.

You gotta do what's best for YOU.

[Leigh]

I have been having issues with one 2.5yo dcb for months now. I am exhausted. I know this is a terrible reason to keep them around but I can't afford to let them go and I have not had any other prospects in months. Yes, I am attached to this child as he has been with me since birth, but I am so drained. All of the fun and joy I used to have doing this job is GONE. I cannot do anything with the children as a group. I am constantly having to shadow this one child because if I don't, he is harming the other children in one way or another. Many days are filled with screaming and tantrums and I have no idea how to stop them. I redirect, I talk about feelings with the child, I do time out, anything I can think of I have tried and nothing works. This child's parents are awesome and follow the same guidelines at home and nothing makes a difference. I know some of the issues I am having are typical of the age, I have taken care of many little ones, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I used to LOVE doing this job, now I count down the seconds until my day is over. This is just a vent as I have no one else to talk about this to, and already, at this early hour, I can tell it's going to be one of those days!

What's more important: your career, happiness and well-being or the obligation that you feel to continue caring for this child?

BlackCat has MANY times mentioned about how the more you put into a child/family, the more obligated to them you feel, but that THEY don't feel that obligation to you. If you made THEIR lives uncomfortable, they'd leave you in a minute. It's hard to "give up", and you may feel that it's your fault-it's NOT. You're not the child's parent, and you're not responsible for what biology or parenting has made this child. I SWEAR, they do NOT feel the same way about your business relationship that you do.

If caring for this child has made you feel this miserable, it's time to let go.

[Gemma]

I went through the same about a year ago... I knew I was stressed out, but to what extent I had no idea until the day I Termed.....no amount of money is worth your sanity!

[daycarediva]

What are some of the issues you are having with him? Can you separate for part of the day so you can do something with the other kids? Maybe allow him one chance, then back to his own area?

Have you tried advertising? Flyers? Brochures at stores?

I've been there early on, keeping kids for income and it wasn't fun! Never again!