Nap Time Problems - Help!

[Unregistered]

I have a 3 year old girl who is here 3 days a week. The other 2 days, she is grandma. When we started care, mom said dcg doesn't nap. I've tried training her to have quiet time. Well, after battles, she does fall asleep. She's exhausted, she wakes up at 6 to get here. Now, she clearly does need the nap. My problem is getting her to nap. She has a designated place and the room all to herself, everyone else is upstairs in their own spaces.

Somedays, she will stay on the couch and sleep. That is about 25% of the time. Other days, it's a nightmare. I've tried putting out 6 m&ms and each time she gets off the couch, she loses one. That worked for a little while but it's wearing off. She loves to play outside so I've explained if she sleeps at the beginning of resting time, we can go outside afterwards before pick-up. That worked for a couple of days.

Yesterday, it took 90 minutes to get her to fall asleep. She claimed she needed to use the bathroom 3 times, she got up once because she had a dirt mark on her shirt and asked me to wash it for her (umm no), then cried hysterically because she looked out the window and saw a bicycle in the wrong place. She screamed so loud I was afraid she would wake the others. By the time she fell asleep, others woke up. I am going to lose my mind! She's been in care with me for about 2.5 months and it's just not getting any better.

I would say she has sleep problems. DCM says she has a hard time at bedtime, waking up in the morning and DCG says she gets to sleep with her parents on the weekends. She is not required to rest or nap on the days I don't have her (the weekends and 2 days a week) I will take ANY ideas for what to do! I need my resting time!

[Rockgirl]

Mine all sleep in the same room on mats, except for infants, but these are things I've found to have a successful naptime:

Routine--here, they lay out mats, potty, and wash hands right before lunch. As soon as they're done eating, they wash faces and go straight to mats.

Dark, cool room--my playroom is just light enough for me to be able to check on kids during nap. I keep it a little cool in there, and use heavier blankets. I've found they sleep better with a little weight on them, rather than a thin, lightweight blanket.

Cozy spot for each child--every mat is next to something, instead of being out in the open. I think it feels more secure for the child, and no one can see each other.

White noise--I place a white noise machine by the doorway of the playroom. It blocks out other noises in the house. I keep mine on the waterfall setting. They are so used to it, that they usually all fall asleep within 5 minutes of lying down, and magically wake up when I turn it off!

Be very consistent with her. Have her potty right before nap, and don't let her keep getting up to go. Be firm.

[Unregistered]

Thank you for your input. I was firm last time and it seemed to backfire. Thank you for the reminder, I need to stay strong! I have a hard time telling her no, you already used the bathroom. She knows how to work it, she's smart.

[Blackcat31]

All my kiddos sleep in the same room too.
I use audio books on CD and play them during rest time verses white noise.

I am consistent and routine with rest time. It's not negotiable.

At 3 yrs old, she should understand expectations and consequences for her behavior. Instead of rewarding her, have you considered using consequences instead? Maybe plan a fun activity for those kids that did rest quietly and not allow her to participate if she was loud and disruptive during rest time....

She has shown you she understands being bribed to do what you want her to do but the reason that only works for a few days is because the value of the reward decreases each time she is given the reward.

If you work hard for a $1, you spend it wisely. If you know you are simply going to get another one tomorrow, your sending habits would probably change fairly quickly.....kwim?

For me personally, I could never put that much time and effort into getting a part time child to be in routine when the experiences/routine she has on her off days are directly opposite what I expect/want from her. That is the root of the issue IMHO and the rest of it can be fixed with a lot of hard work, consistency, routine and probably a few power struggles but you gotta ask yourself if it's worth it for a part time kid.

[Unregistered]

Thank you for your thoughts on the rewards. I hadn't thought of it that way. I use rewards a lot for my own daughter, but of course each child is so different. A fun activity for others... hmmm I'll think about that. They love to go outside but I can't leave her inside alone, of course.

I am thinking about everyone napping together. I am a bit different, my 4.5 year old daughter doesn't nap but does rest/play quietly in her room. I have a 1 year old son who naps in his crib and then a 1 year old girl who naps in a pack 'n play in my bedroom. If I had another napper who wasn't so young, I think perhaps having a buddy with her may be helpful. Hmmm I am thinking on that one.

I only watch her and her sister part-time. Now I am really reconsidering the whole arrangement. I agree, it is a LOT of effort for part-time. She is high maintenance and strong-willed. I completely agree that the root of the problem is that her parents and grandma allow things that I do not, which is completely natural. But it stinks for me.

[JackandJill]

I agree with PP, a consistent routine is the best approach. My little ones know the drill and even those who put up a fight seem to adjust within a week or two. But I never waiver, every child must participate in nap/quiet time!

I also nap all my kids together. Previously it was all in separate rooms, and then I moved my daycare and only had one room for naps. I thought it would be a disaster, but it was honestly the best improvement for nap time. They are so much calmer when they are all put down together, I think being put alone in a "strange" room can cause some kids to panic!

The room is always dark, and set up before they come in, and I have a sound machine. We read a few books as they are all laying down and getting settled and then I leave the room.

I have only part time kids (some are only here one day a week!). I really only take parents who understand and support the nap policy and are willing to mimic it at home, if the little one isn't adjusting. I also remind them that children who don't nap and are too tired/cranky/in need of some sleep will be sent home early. Their bad habits learned at home can stay at home especially for a part time family!!

[Unregistered]

At the end of the day after you go through your checklist and the child is not a good fit. Term them.

Part timers are a headache typically because of the inconsistency of care. If you don't see improvement in 2.5 months you won't.

I have multiple requirements for my parents now when it comes to part time schedules. They are fitting into MY day and existing schedule not the other way around. I have 4 babies it is a delicate balance. Another reason I have a two week trial period with the ability to term with no notice in that 2 week time frame. Both of us can.

BEst of luck I know it is not easy.

[Unregistered]

how do you typically term? I am thinking I need to just say this isn't working and provide my last available date. Do you provide a letter? I am wondering if it will be hard with the kids around.

[Blackcat31]

how do you typically term? I am thinking I need to just say this isn't working and provide my last available date. Do you provide a letter? I am wondering if it will be hard with the kids around.

I say exactly that....it's not working.

I usually put it all in writing simply because it usually is emotional and most parents hear "you're out" and that's it.

Put it in writing and hand parent the letter at pick up. I usually suggest they read it once they get home and to e-mail me if they have any additional questions that aren't addressed in the letter.

Most parents already know it's coming so it usually isn't a huge shocker in most situations.