How Do I Stop Play with Guns and Bombs?

[TwinMama]

I have a 4 year old that wants to play pretend games with guns, bombs, and weapons. I continuously tell him that we don't play with those things here. They're dangerous.

How do I get him to stop this play? At home and at his friend's house he tells me they play games with weapons all the time. He keeps asking the others if they're good guys or bad guys.

[Blackcat31]

I have a 4 year old that wants to play pretend games with guns, bombs, and weapons. I continuously tell him that we don't play with those things here. They're dangerous.

How do I get him to stop this play? At home and at his friend's house he tells me they play games with weapons all the time. He keeps asking the others if they're good guys or bad guys.

The intrinsic battle between good and evil is a common and normal developmental stage for kids in the preschool years.

How you handle this is generally dictated by your personal beliefs as well as that of your clients.

How do you stop any other unwanted behavior?



Here are more threads on this subject:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=gun+play

[TwinMama]

Here's the thing. I don't care about the good and bad guys, but I want the little ones to know a football is a football. It's not a bomb. The family hunts and I come from a family of hunters, but I don't want their imagination to turn to violence. People don't hunt deer/animals with bombs. I also don't want the little ones just learning to talk to go home and talk about shooting.

If someone is doing something wrong I of course tell them to stop, but this is different. I'm putting the kibosh on imagination. They don't let kids play this way in school. So we don't do it here. We're good to one another. We don't shoot our friends. Not shooting our friends isn't about personal belief.

[Ariana]

Here is my opinion on it and it is backed by some research from some well educated people. Your adult idea and version of violence is not the same as a childs. A child has no clue that violence impacts others, they simply see it as fun. Like Feeding a baby or pretending to be a firefighter....it is a form of role play. As an adult you are attaching more meaning to it than there needs to be. I totally understand where you are coming from but try to see it from their perspective. It is power play. The good guy is more powerful than the bad guy and weapons are part of that. Kids do not understand that a bomb blows people up and they die (in a literal sense).

I would ask the parents about movies they are watching at home and ask them to curb the violent movies and tv shows. A considerable amount of shows targeted at boys is violence based which is not a good thing. I would tell them how he is acting at your daycare and let them know it makes you feel uncomfortable and that he is getting other kids involved who dont necessarily want to play in this way.

Rest assured however that this form of play is just that, a form of play. I did it as a kid and I am not a violent person! The more we act against it the more it becomes attractive to kids. I remember in a centre where I worked one teacher forbade gun play and would take away whatever they were using and would be angry when they did it etc. By the end of it they were playing behind her back, using their fingers as guns. There is really no way to stop it and making it off limits almost makes it more inticing.

[Cat Herder]

Q: How do I stop play with guns and bombs?


A: Let them experiment with rockets and volcanos. lovethis

http://www.zlifeeducation.com/category/chemistry-rocket/

http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/vinegarvolcano.html

Think Intrinsic Motivation.

[Blackcat31]

Here is my opinion on it and it is backed by some research from some well educated people. Your adult idea and version of violence is not the same as a childs. A child has no clue that violence impacts others, they simply see it as fun. Like Feeding a baby or pretending to be a firefighter....it is a form of role play. As an adult you are attaching more meaning to it than there needs to be. I totally understand where you are coming from but try to see it from their perspective. It is power play. The good guy is more powerful than the bad guy and weapons are part of that. Kids do not understand that a bomb blows people up and they die (in a literal sense).

I would ask the parents about movies they are watching at home and ask them to curb the violent movies and tv shows. A considerable amount of shows targeted at boys is violence based which is not a good thing. I would tell them how he is acting at your daycare and let them know it makes you feel uncomfortable and that he is getting other kids involved who dont necessarily want to play in this way.

Rest assured however that this form of play is just that, a form of play. I did it as a kid and I am not a violent person! The more we act against it the more it becomes attractive to kids. I remember in a centre where I worked one teacher forbade gun play and would take away whatever they were using and would be angry when they did it etc. By the end of it they were playing behind her back, using their fingers as guns. There is really no way to stop it and making it off limits almost makes it more inticing.

this is a great response!

[Controlled Chaos]

I agree with the PPs, I would just add - that I did once have little one who was obsessed with fighting in a way that I did not see as developmentally troubling, but it was disruptive as it riled up the kids (especially indoors)

I redirected the child to a table activity and then would let them pick a new activity if they wanted a few minutes later (just like any other behavior problem). I might also set them up with blocks or string and popcicle sticks or something - and have them make a trap for the bad guys. It would keep them creative and busy for a long time and they weren't karate chopping any other dcks in the face

Outside - I taped "bad guys" to our fence. During Dino months I taped carnivores. This month I have monsters and ghosts. Then I have a large amount of ball pit balls and they throw the balls at the bad guys to get them. It seems to channel their need to destroy evil

[TwinMama]

I agree with the PPs, I would just add - that I did once have little one who was obsessed with fighting in a way that I did not see as developmentally troubling, but it was disruptive as it riled up the kids (especially indoors)

I redirected the child to a table activity and then would let them pick a new activity if they wanted a few minutes later (just like any other behavior problem). I might also set them up with blocks or string and popcicle sticks or something - and have them make a trap for the bad guys. It would keep them creative and busy for a long time and they weren't karate chopping any other dcks in the face

Outside - I taped "bad guys" to our fence. During Dino months I taped carnivores. This month I have monsters and ghosts. Then I have a large amount of ball pit balls and they throw the balls at the bad guys to get them. It seems to channel their need to destroy evil

I LOVE this approach. Then we're all on the same team. I think I'll try this. Plus, the kids will love the different themes!!! Thank you so much!!!

[Controlled Chaos]

I LOVE this approach. Then we're all on the same team. I think I'll try this. Plus, the kids will love the different themes!!! Thank you so much!!!

You're welcome You may lose some balls over the fence , but I figure its worth it.

[Meeko]

I do not allow weapons of any kind in daycare. Even imaginary ones. It is my personal choice. I believe there are a hundred million things a child can play. Killing each other doesn't have to be one of them.

So if the legos or blocks etc become knives/guns etc. they are back on the shelf immediately and stay there for a while. Rinse repeat. They soon learn. Now, when new kids start to play guns....the other kids will stop them and say "No weapons at daycare!"

[Hunni Bee]

I do not allow weapons of any kind in daycare. Even imaginary ones. It is my personal choice. I believe there are a hundred million things a child can play. Killing each other doesn't have to be one of them.

So if the legos or blocks etc become knives/guns etc. they are back on the shelf immediately and stay there for a while. Rinse repeat. They soon learn. Now, when new kids start to play guns....the other kids will stop them and say "No weapons at daycare!"

Me either. I just don't. It always escalates into smeone getting a hurt body part or hurt feelings and it's just unnecessary.

[TwinMama]

I do not allow weapons of any kind in daycare. Even imaginary ones. It is my personal choice. I believe there are a hundred million things a child can play. Killing each other doesn't have to be one of them.

So if the legos or blocks etc become knives/guns etc. they are back on the shelf immediately and stay there for a while. Rinse repeat. They soon learn. Now, when new kids start to play guns....the other kids will stop them and say "No weapons at daycare!"

I agree. It turns into more aggressive play.

[TwinMama]

Me either. I just don't. It always escalates into smeone getting a hurt body part or hurt feelings and it's just unnecessary.

Yup!!! Then they want to blame the other kids because they got hurt.

[childcaremom]

I had one little guy and he did a LOT of this type of play. I just told him that it was a game to play at home. Repeat and repeat. It eventually stopped. Because I don't allow it either for the reasons listed above.

[Mike]

I do not allow weapons of any kind in daycare. Even imaginary ones. It is my personal choice. I believe there are a hundred million things a child can play. Killing each other doesn't have to be one of them.

So if the legos or blocks etc become knives/guns etc. they are back on the shelf immediately and stay there for a while. Rinse repeat. They soon learn. Now, when new kids start to play guns....the other kids will stop them and say "No weapons at daycare!"

I'm with you here. Little kids won't really understand what they are doing, but as they get bigger, they do, and I've seen it get out of control. They can do that at home.