Odd Behavior

[Luke25]

Hey everyone!
I wouldn't to see what you all thought...
I have a child who has been a biter and tackles others kids for about 8 months. He is 20 months old.
I have made him my shadow and I stop him from biting, so that is under control, but when I stop him from biting he fights me to try and get over to them to bite and then tries to bite me! He also will try and tackle friends and when I pull him off he tries to lock his feet around them as I pick him up.
I just think this is sort of concerning behavior and wanted to see what you all thought.
I really really want to make this work because the mom is so good to me and her older child 2.5 is so so sweet. He's sweet too. Just a major challenge...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I wouldn't be able to accommodate that behavior here and I do not think it is normal. I would have to end the contract.

But, since you are wanting to make it work I recommend reaching out to the owner of Shade Tree Learning. I just "attended" a webinar training with her over toddlers and they discussed biting. She considers it normal and gave suggestions for working through it. She might still have a slide or two available to e-mail to you concerning it. http://www.shadetreelearning.org

[LadyMacbeth]

He's 20 months old and still has a long way to go when it comes to social/emotional development. It reminds me of a student I used to have that was a serial biter and hitter. It was very obvious, however, that he only did it to the ones he liked the most (including me, unfortunately)

Biting is very common in his age group, and there is definitely a lot of material out there that can point you in the right direction, certainly better than I can. I'm posting a link to NAECY's website. Also, be sure to collaborate with the parents so that ya'll can be on the same page when it comes to dealing with the behavior. It would also be great to get some insight on whether they use aggression as a form of play (such as play wrestling) or as a form of love ("I'm going to bite your toes") The parents need to be just as involved in this situation as you are.

https://families.naeyc.org/learning-and-development/child-development/understanding-and-responding-children-who-bite

[Ariana]

Are you being extremely firm with him when talking to him? Sometimes I feel that what kids like this need is a good "shake up" of the status quo calm, sweet voice they are used to. I rarely have kids who hit a second time (I have personally never had a biter in my home care **knock on wood**). I would place him on his feet, look into his eyes and in a firm voice say "stop". You have to really mean it! This is somewhat normal behavior and it sounds like his response to stress and anger. Give him tools to deal with his anger. Give him words like "mine" or "stop" etc.

[Luke25]

He's 20 months old and still has a long way to go when it comes to social/emotional development. It reminds me of a student I used to have that was a serial biter and hitter. It was very obvious, however, that he only did it to the ones he liked the most (including me, unfortunately)

Biting is very common in his age group, and there is definitely a lot of material out there that can point you in the right direction, certainly better than I can. I'm posting a link to NAECY's website. Also, be sure to collaborate with the parents so that ya'll can be on the same page when it comes to dealing with the behavior. It would also be great to get some insight on whether they use aggression as a form of play (such as play wrestling) or as a form of love ("I'm going to bite your toes") The parents need to be just as involved in this situation as you are.

https://families.naeyc.org/learning-...ldren-who-bite

Thanks for the link!
Yes we are communicating about it. She is a single mom and I don't think they play aggressively. I do think the boys play a little rough and I probably need to ask her to have them stop that at home since it's carrying over. He bites his brother at home too. She is working really hard to stop his biting. I know she is frustrated.
I also know it's a little early to call it a behavior issue but if it doesn't get better in the next 6 months or so with our redirection and monitoring I feel like she should possibly ask her pediatrician.
Thanks again for the advice!

[Luke25]

Are you being extremely firm with him when talking to him? Sometimes I feel that what kids like this need is a good "shake up" of the status quo calm, sweet voice they are used to. I rarely have kids who hit a second time (I have personally never had a biter in my home care **knock on wood**). I would place him on his feet, look into his eyes and in a firm voice say "stop". You have to really mean it! This is somewhat normal behavior and it sounds like his response to stress and anger. Give him tools to deal with his anger. Give him words like "mine" or "stop" etc.

Yes. I am very firm. I look at him and say "no biting! Biting hurts! It's not in my nature but I have learned quickly with these boys I have that I have to be or I get nowhere with them.
I also separate him from the group in a pack and play when he tries to bite.
I agree it's definitely a reaction to anger or frustration. It's hard because sometimes it's not an obvious "he took my toy" or "I want that" sometimes it's just your close to me so I'm going to lunge and tackle you and bite. Sometimes I wonder if he just gets overwhelmed being in a room with 4 other kids and that's how he reacts. I try to give hem breaks by putting a couple in pack and plays with books for some quite time while I do an activity with a couple and then switch. It does seem to help at times.

[Luke25]

I wouldn't be able to accommodate that behavior here and I do not think it is normal. I would have to end the contract.

But, since you are wanting to make it work I recommend reaching out to the owner of Shade Tree Learning. I just "attended" a webinar training with her over toddlers and they discussed biting. She considers it normal and gave suggestions for working through it. She might still have a slide or two available to e-mail to you concerning it. http://www.shadetreelearning.org

Yes. If this was any other family and my other families were different I would have probably termed. They are like family to me and also good friends with my other day care families so everyone is being patient and understanding during all of this. I feel like if I can make it through the next 6-9 months we will be to a good spot. He will be a little older and better able to understand how to treat friends. If we aren't then I think we might have to consider there may be some behavior issues.

[Luke25]

Yes. If this was any other family and my other families were different I would have probably termed. They are like family to me and also good friends with my other day care families so everyone is being patient and understanding during all of this. I feel like if I can make it through the next 6-9 months we will be to a good spot. He will be a little older and better able to understand how to treat friends. If we aren't then I think we might have to consider there may be some behavior issues.

Oh! And thanks for the link! I will check it out!