Keeping Kids Separate When You Work Alone, Or: Tea, Earl Grey--

[Pestle]

Tea, Earl Grey, oversteeped and forgotten, growing ever chillier while I try to get these kids fed and settled down.

My sibling pair's behavior has been getting better as the younger one has started to talk and eased up on the biting and hair pulling, but they are very, very aggressive toward each other and I spend all of my time redirecting them away from each other's activities and meals. I know that shadowing a child with a bad behavior is sometimes recommended, but that's just a stopgap measure and really only works when there are multiple carers in the room--it doesn't get at the root of the problem, and for a single day care provider, it means spending less time with the other kids than they need.

• I have separate play areas and separate quiet areas in the play room, separate tables in the dining room, and a large yard with activities in different locations.
• I have modified my schedule to maximize their focus, re-ordering the activities and giving them enough time to delve in but cutting it off before they get bored.
• I listen out for the younger one's words or grunts so I can respond quickly to his needs and reduce frustration
• The younger one has a "bitey box" of variously textured objects to chew on when he gets that shark glint in his eyes.
• I get protein into them when they arrive and get them napping by noon.

All these things have helped, and now I can survive, but I still want it better than this. These kids are magnetically attracted to each other. "Whatcha got? I'm gonna slam you over the head and yank it away from you. Oh, napping? I'm going to start SCREAMING because I'm mad you're in the other room."

Solo providers, what SPECIFIC tactics work when you're trying to keep two competitive children occupied away from each other?

[childcaremom]

They're related?

Honestly, when I've done all of that and still it is not getting better, I put into place a behavioural plan. Pick up after x amount of times in one day, improvement within x amount of time or else term.

But they weren't siblings.

If it isn't quite that bad where you are considering a term, then I would just do a complete separation. Have it so that they cannot get at one another. I am able to have my playroom divided into 2 play areas. I would have one in each area and then switch after a certain amount of time.

Same with outdoor areas. Divide into 2 areas and switch after a bit.

Lots of good foods, lots of gross motor and lots of fresh air.

I've done this with siblings (not aggressive just a lot of manhandling the baby) and to separate age groups with good results. After a few weeks, tried integrating again, with verbal warnings that if x happens, we will need to play in different areas again. Rinse and repeat.

Sometimes, 2 just can't be together.

[Pestle]

Yes, related; yes, I've put in a behavioral plan and discussed it with the parents and they've modified how they're doing things at home; yes, this pair is necessary for my income right now, and I don't have any other prospects on the horizon. Child care in my city looks like a race to the bottom right now.

My younger one thinks gates and barriers are a percussion instrument--shake the living daylights out of them. He can take down my play yard, no problem. >_< But yes, maybe if I put in a long-term effort to train him to stay on his side of the fence, that might work for the playroom.