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I've recently (3 weeks ago) started caring for a five year old little girl after school. Every night when her mom or dad come to pick her up it is a horrible experience. She has a full blown, on the floor screaming, tears flowing, tantrum. She does not want to go home. She told me today that her parents are mean to her, she hates her baby brother, and she wants to live with me, that her parents said it's ok to live with me. They absolutely did not say that. Shes known to be strong willed and manipulative, doing what she can to get her way. There are no signs of abuse in the home and she's only said her dad is mean to her the one time. I do know the parents are stretched thin with 3 children and both are working. I've tried every transition trick I know and nothing is making a difference. Any advice is welcome, I hate to see her and the parents so upset.
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The only thing I think would be helpful is to do Bye Bye outside.
Most children view consequences and discipline as being mean. Also transitions can be really hard on some children, sounds like this could be her main issue. -
I recently had that occur with a 4 year old DCG that I've had since she was 9 months old. DCM is very doting and DCD tries to be, but you can tell he eventually reaches a limit (called reality.. Lol) and isn't as doting. So, she started throwing a fit if he arrived for pickup. We both tried all kinds of methods of encouraging her and nothing worked. I finally started saying "well, Miss XX has to get dinner started, etc. Give me a hug and you guys have a great night!" and ushered her out the door with her Dad. The problem stopped. I also have a DCG3 whose parents are split. She does it occasionally on transition days and I handle it the same way.Comment
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Is there something you could have her make for her parents so she might get excited to show them when they come? Or what about a reward/incentive chart? I'm on the fence about this kind of stuff but sometimes it's enough to break a cycle they seem to be stuck in.
I know it's hard to advise parents how to parent but a family that has 3 kids probably don't plan 'dates' with 1 at a time. I truly think a lot of kids' attention-getting behavior is because families are so busy, especially during the work weeks, that kids barely get a book read to them anymore.
Do either of the parents do 'date nights' with each child and let that 1 child be the center of their world, even for just a little while?
Good luck, I imagine she must make it difficult for everybody. Until the situation changes, I'd definitely plan with the parents to make p/u as swift as possible, even if they have to carry her out to the car kicking and screaming.Comment
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The only advice I can offer is that it will pass, and not to stress too much about it. Let mom deal with it and let it be her problem. My DS went through a spell of something similar when he was 3. By the time he was 4 he was no longer doing it (I can't remember exactly when it ended; it was 15+ years ago). How I dealt with it was to simply pick him up and carry him out of the daycare room (it was a center). I don't think that the daycare staff did anything in an attempt to have him stop.
I'm thinking that maybe the more you try to stop her from throwing a tantrum, the less likely she might be to stop.Comment
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Have parents call when they are in the driveway.Bring child to door ,quick goodbye. I also started a sticker reward for those who left nicely.Each child learned to greet there parent and leave nicely for their sticker.A little lame they should behave but I couldn't condone bad behavior and parents wouldn't stop it,The stickers worked great.Comment
Exactly
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