Oh My.....HELP Am I Being Too Harsh?

[lvt77]

I just had a visit from the FP. Overall, most of it went well on my part. HOwever, during the am snack one of DCG decided to jab a plastic fork in another childs ear. Lucky the child was ok, no marks, just a very red ear.


I took the fork from the DCG and she has been screaming at the top of her lungs for almost 45 min. I have never really had any major issues with this child, but she has been acting out quite a bit since DCM found out that she was PG. Everything in my gut is telling me to send her home for her actions as well as not able to stop the screaming...
Am I being to harsh?

[Gurdy]

how old is dcg?

[lvt77]

sorry 3.5 yrs old

[DCMomOf3]

At that age I would call mom, tell her what happened, and wait for her to respond. I have never considered sending child home for a bad attitude but if it's being too disruptive, maybe mom would offer to come get her?

I hope you get better advice.

[MyAngels]

I would be careful with sending a child home for bad behavior, especially at this age. You could start a vicious cycle where the child will misbehave in order to get sent home. I've never sent anyone home or called a parent because of their behavior, I just handle it here. A temper tantrum like this gets the child isolated in another room until they can get control of their emotions.

[lvt77]

At that age I would call mom, tell her what happened, and wait for her to respond. I have never considered sending child home for a bad attitude but if it's being too disruptive, maybe mom would offer to come get her?

I hope you get better advice.

I guess i should have been more clear. I cant get her behavior under control and she is still screaming. The FP lady said she will need to come back because we could not finish do to the DCG screaming.

[SandeeAR]

I would just put her in a chair/on a bed, in a room away from everyone and let her scream it out. I just had a normal well behaved 2.5 y/o spend 45 min sitting on the nap bed. Cried for the first 10 min, then made herself cry, you know, the uuuuuhhhhh cry for the next 35 min. All b/c a 9 mo was standing at my leg and she was standing at my leg, she pushed the 9 mo had away, which made her fall. I told her not to do that, and she burst into tears and refused to stop. That got her put on the bed. When she finally figured out it was getting her no where, she dried it up and came and ate lunch.

[lvt77]

She is currenlty isolated from the rest of the group in our pillow room.. She has stopped kicking the walls, however, still screaming. Its been almost an hour.. I need to get back to teaching class here in about 10 min but can't with her still in the state she is in???

I guess I am just really taken back by the thought of a DCG jabbing another child with a fork, then have no remorse for it.....UGH

Maybe I will just get ear plugs...

[Cat Herder]

I send them home for tantrums lasting over 4 hours. At that point my patience is fried and the other kids have suffered enough. It is now Mommy and Daddys turn. It has been in my policy from day one, learned from previous center experience.

Before anyone asks, ALL posibilities both emotional and medical are ruled out, first. In all my years only one child has required me to actually do it.

[lvt77]

Holy cow 4 hours... its been an hour and I am ready to jump ship....

Ok, I will tough it out.. I am a trooper and i guess I will just have to teach around her screaming.... She cant hurt herself or anyone else so I guess i just have let to scream it out in the pillow room..

[jen]

Agh...I had a daycare kid jab my child in the ear. I was "unhappy" to say the least.

I would probably not send the kid home because, as others have said, it may become her new go to technique when she decides she'd rather watch cartoons at home all day...

Do you have a hallway you can block off? I have a very short hallway that is carpeted. If someone is really having a tantrum, I put the gate up, give them a blanket and walk away. If the noise is too much, can you take the other kids in another section of the house? Put the baby monitor on low volume and keep an eye on the lights so that you can monitor how its going. If not, maybe you could sing, loudly, at school today!

One more thing, I'd give her ZERO attention until she has been scream free for at least 5 minutes.

Good luck!

[lvt77]

Agh...I had a daycare kid jab my child in the ear. I was "unhappy" to say the least.

I would probably not send the kid home because, as others have said, it may become her new go to technique when she decides she'd rather watch cartoons at home all day...

Do you have a hallway you can block off? I have a very short hallway that is carpeted. If someone is really having a tantrum, I put the gate up, give them a blanket and walk away. If the noise is too much, can you take the other kids in another section of the house? Put the baby monitor on low volume and keep an eye on the lights so that you can monitor how its going. If not, maybe you could sing, loudly, at school today!

One more thing, I'd give her ZERO attention until she has been scream free for at least 5 minutes.

Good luck!

She is in my pillow room just screaming. I wont go in it until she stops, The only issue is that there are no door on the pillow room and it is directly across from the class room so all of the kids have no where to escape.
I am thinking that since it is almost 70 degrees outside I will teach outside...Gotta run and go figure this all out... thanks so much for all of your help.

[Cat Herder]

Holy cow 4 hours... its been an hour and I am ready to jump ship....

Ok, I will tough it out.. I am a trooper and i guess I will just have to teach around her screaming.... She cant hurt herself or anyone else so I guess i just have let to scream it out in the pillow room..

Yeah, it is pretty awful. That is why I send them home after that. Honestly, it is hard to come up with something pleasant to say about ANYTHING after a day like that. It makes you feel like you aged 10 years by 5pm!

My policy is that they will be required to have a medical clearance if the behavior continues. If the issue is not resolved in a appropriate amount of time (varies based on the parents level of interest in resolving the issue. I will work hard for someone who is working with me.) , termination will be the only available solution as I have to act in the best interest of the group. (most medical intervention works pretty quickly IE. dietary changes can feel like a miracle )

It is ironic how quickly some of these sudden/out of the blue issues end when it inconveniences the parents enough Up until then it only effects you and is viewed as anecdotal information of how your day was....

[momofsix]

So did she stop? I just read the post now, and am wondering what happened?

[lvt77]

Yes after 2 hours of screaming at the top of her little lungs she finally stopped. However, when I explained how Unsafe her actions were and that she would need say sorry to her friend it started all over again.
She refused lunch so she went down for her nap. I think she was overly tired as she passed out in less than 5 min. Actually still asleep.
Thanks for ur help.