Another Cryer - Help!!

[Crazy8]

I know this has been mentioned a lot lately as we all start new September children but the other post I read was about a 2.5 year old so not sure if the advice should be the same for my new part time 16 month old.

Only here 2 days a week (problem #1), daycare other days (and past 16 months) was grandma (problem #2). Mom says child was NEVER a good napper (problem #3).

Child cries 80% of the time here, almost all morning and will only take one 20-30 min. nap each day. The crying is considerably better in the afternoons for some crazy reason - only starts a little if someone gets picked up or if you mention the dreaded "M" word.

How long do I give this? Is there even hope since she is away from me 5 days a week?? What can I do to get it to stop? I do believe in some CIO but this one won't give up and NEVER seems to be tired. According to mom she sleeps great at night (11-12 hrs) but has always been the worst napper.

[Blackcat31]

I know this has been mentioned a lot lately as we all start new September children but the other post I read was about a 2.5 year old so not sure if the advice should be the same for my new part time 16 month old.

Only here 2 days a week (problem #1), daycare other days (and past 16 months) was grandma (problem #2). Mom says child was NEVER a good napper (problem #3).

Child cries 80% of the time here, almost all morning and will only take one 20-30 min. nap each day. The crying is considerably better in the afternoons for some crazy reason - only starts a little if someone gets picked up or if you mention the dreaded "M" word.

How long do I give this? Is there even hope since she is away from me 5 days a week?? What can I do to get it to stop? I do believe in some CIO but this one won't give up and NEVER seems to be tired. According to mom she sleeps great at night (11-12 hrs) but has always been the worst napper.

I bet the short attendance schedule plays the biggest role in the issue but I am kind of thinking they might be tired (over tired) and that is why mood improves in the afternoon a bit (??) I would be inclined to "try" a few experiments and maybe have her lay down for 30 minutes in the a.m and then have her participate in regular nap time in the afternoon.

I would also ask mom if adding days is a possibility too (maybe even temporarily) so that DCG can become more adjusted. Or maybe even see if she can do 4 half days and grandma can do the other half verses each of you having full days....unless grandma isnt available like that.

I don't know, I am just thinking out loud. I used to tolerate screaming kids alot differently than I do now days. I don't know if it's a form of PTSD or just that the older I get the less patient I am in some areas and the more "meh" I am about others so how long you should deal is strictly up to YOU and your level of tolerance but I'd definitely try a few things before just throwing in the towel.

[daycare]

i also agree that it could be the very part time days.

any chance that the family co-sleeps.??

I have found that the children that are the wrost nappers are the ones that co-sleep with their children.

I would also see if more days is an option. I don't know how you ladies do it when you have a crying baby like that.

I won't enroll anyone under 3 for less than full time. I only take 18 months and up to 5 years. 3-5 yr olds can do part time. I have never had a real crier though....

[Crazy8]

I doubt they will add the day but I will ask, part of me doesn't want a 3rd day of this a week though!!

I can tune out the crying sometimes but other times it grates on my nerves and it isn't even a full on cry - there are no tears, runny nose, etc. its more just a scream. She's young so that plays a role in how long I will let her go.

I can't get full time kids for anything here anymore - I am actually on a 4 day a week schedule now because of it. Everyone wants grandma/aunts/etc to watch the kid 1-2 days a week to save on FT daycare costs anyway so I at least figured I'd get one day off out of it.

[Ariana]

As someone who only does part time daycare some kids are just not cut out for it. I go through a lot of kids and only a select few who are securely attached and easygoing can deal with the constant changing of care providers. I usually know within 3 weeks if a kid is doing ok and will get better and it is usually because there has been some improvement. If you aren't seeing any improvement or if it is getting worse that is not good.

If a child this age is crying all day rather than playing by the second or third week then it is a problem. I had a child like this last year. Cried nonstop and I could only handle 3 weeks of it since I saw zero improvement and it got worse.

Part time is not for every kid, especially at this age.

[Crazy8]

As someone who only does part time daycare some kids are just not cut out for it. I go through a lot of kids and only a select few who are securely attached and easygoing can deal with the constant changing of care providers. I usually know within 3 weeks if a kid is doing ok and will get better and it is usually because there has been some improvement. If you aren't seeing any improvement or if it is getting worse that is not good.

If a child this age is crying all day rather than playing by the second or third week then it is a problem. I had a child like this last year. Cried nonstop and I could only handle 3 weeks of it since I saw zero improvement and it got worse.

Part time is not for every kid, especially at this age.

Thank you! I do all part time too but am always a little leary of 2 days a week, but the last few I've had were great little adapters so I have opened up to taking them more often, especially since I am only open 4 days a week now.

This coming week I am going to try BC's suggestion of a morning nap this week, I don't know if she will sleep but even only on a half hour nap in the afternoons she is a different person so maybe I can just trick her into thinking that after that morning "break" she can be her happy little self. ::

My other issue is still that 30 minute nap - I NEED her to at least lay quietly the rest of nap time. Not sure I can ever get that out of her.

[Ariana]

Yes the morning nap might help a lot! I did this with a 2 day a week child as he coslept with mom and baby bro and was exhausted when he came on his first day back. He would sleep and would be much better when waking. I had other issues with him though and had to term anyway.

Can you put her in her own room with white noise?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

As someone who only does part time daycare some kids are just not cut out for it. I go through a lot of kids and only a select few who are securely attached and easygoing can deal with the constant changing of care providers. I usually know within 3 weeks if a kid is doing ok and will get better and it is usually because there has been some improvement. If you aren't seeing any improvement or if it is getting worse that is not good.

If a child this age is crying all day rather than playing by the second or third week then it is a problem. I had a child like this last year. Cried nonstop and I could only handle 3 weeks of it since I saw zero improvement and it got worse.

Part time is not for every kid, especially at this age.

I take 2+ and most are 2 days a week.
For the children who are upset about never being outside of family care I've noticed that it can take 4-12 weeks. Sometimes they get worse about a month in before they get better.

:hug: I hope you can find a good arrangement so your entire day doesn't consist of crying.

[Ariana]

I take 2+ and most are 2 days a week.
For the children who are upset about never being outside of family care I've noticed that it can take 4-12 weeks. Sometimes they get worse about a month in before they get better.

:hug: I hope you can find a good arrangement so your entire day doesn't consist of crying.

How can you take 4-12 weeks of crying?! Lawdy I know it is only two days a week but I don't think I could handle it! I do agree that it may take 4-12 weeks to fully transition but they shouldn't be full on crying for that long in my opinion.

I also find that kids go through the transition all over again when they go on vacation which is a total PITA if they did end up coming around eventually.