New Kid Problems

[Leigh]

My new DCG, 2.5, is doing much better (not screaming/tantruming all day-she doesn't cry, it's a screaming tantrum when she does it). She's doing so much better thanks to BC's advice!

HOWEVER, she's still losing her damn mind at naptime. She screams at me to come get her through the entire nap period. I've tried going in and telling her it's nap time and she needs to rest. NOPE. I've sat in the room for 30 minutes at a time and she'll be calm. I'm sure she is asleep, and before I hit the doorway, she's screaming again. Yesterday, I removed the other kids from the nap room (so as not to reward her behavior) and it stopped because I took away her audience. I will NOT take her out of the nap room when she screams.

Of course, she's a kid who mom says doesn't like naps and often doesn't take them. If she were 4, I might be OK with that, but I am not letting a 2.5 year old control nap time. She needs it-she's a hot mess if she doesn't sleep.

What would you all do? Sit in there with her until she stops (probably weeks)? Keep the other kids out of there until she starts napping?

I'm lost. I've had kids reluctant to sleep before. I have had kids who don't nap before. I've not had one who screams through the entire nap period like this. She can talk VERY well. She understands what I say to her. She's angry because she's not getting what she wants. What she wants is to go sit in time out at nap time-this is what she told me and her mother both. That is not going to happen.

Any advice? I'm lost here.

[Indoorvoice]

I'm wondering if she is sensing how much this is bothering you. You said you took all the kids out of the nap room. Do you have other places for them to sleep? If so, I would do that every day for a while and let her get her frustrations out. Let her know it's time for to rest and then let her choose how to go about it. I'm wondering if you no longer care that she's screaming if she will stop. If not, she's gotta go!

[Controlled Chaos]

Good nappers might get a sticker, or a marshmallow at then end of nap here for a while. I rewards good behavior sporadically.

I might have her nap somewhere else where she can scream her little heart out but reward good nappers in front of her, tell her to let you know when she's ready to nap with the big kids.

[Leigh]

I'm wondering if she is sensing how much this is bothering you. You said you took all the kids out of the nap room. Do you have other places for them to sleep? If so, I would do that every day for a while and let her get her frustrations out. Let her know it's time for to rest and then let her choose how to go about it. I'm wondering if you no longer care that she's screaming if she will stop. If not, she's gotta go!

I don't know if she knows how much it bothers me. I told her that I shut off my ears at nap time so that I can't hear her (this always worked for my son's tantrums-I'd make a show of how I turn them off )

She's only in her 2nd week, but her mom admitted last night when we talked about it that she always gets her way and will tantrum until she does. I can have the other kids sleep elsewhere, but I'd love a way to get her to sleep with them in the room so that I don't have to tiptoe around sleeping kids for 2 hours! I think I'm going to just try putting her down by herself tomorrow and putting the other kids elsewhere.

[Leigh]

Good nappers might get a sticker, or a marshmallow at then end of nap here for a while. I rewards good behavior sporadically.

I might have her nap somewhere else where she can scream her little heart out but reward good nappers in front of her, tell her to let you know when she's ready to nap with the big kids.

Now, that I haven't thought of. We fixed the screaming all day by starting the cry corner back up. That's where she has to go to cry. She doesn't want to cry where I can't hear her, so she chooses to not scream cry all day anymore (she has never shed a tear, either-it's all for attention. I've had kids who are genuinely scared of being someplace new, and we've worked through that, but this girl is totally something I've not experienced before-the closest I've seen to this behavior was what I went through with my foster daughter who had Reactive Attachment Disorder). I'll try the reward tomorrow.

[Pestle]

My screamer was removed from the napping room for a month, napping in a crib in my living room. She would yell and yell and yell, and I'd just smillllle and keep doing whatever I was busy with.

Now she naps quietly on a mat in the play room, but only if I put her brother into the living room crib--otherwise, she gets up and picks on him.

I don't mind splitting the kids up at all! It's a challenge on the days I have 4 toddlers, since it's like one of those logic puzzles: Sally cannot nap near Billy. Billy cannot nap near Charles. Betsy won't nap at all. You have three cribs, three napping mats, and nowhere near enough caffeine in your system.

[Leigh]

My screamer was removed from the napping room for a month, napping in a crib in my living room. She would yell and yell and yell, and I'd just smillllle and keep doing whatever I was busy with.

Now she naps quietly on a mat in the play room, but only if I put her brother into the living room crib--otherwise, she gets up and picks on him.

I don't mind splitting the kids up at all! It's a challenge on the days I have 4 toddlers, since it's like one of those logic puzzles: Sally cannot nap near Billy. Billy cannot nap near Charles. Betsy won't nap at all. You have three cribs, three napping mats, and nowhere near enough caffeine in your system.

I do have kids that I have to separate sometimes-the ones who constantly disrupt nap by doing everything they can to keep the other kids awake. This one is just different-she tantrums through the entire naptime. Today, I set up a pack n play in my bedroom for her (the only place I have that won't give her an audience for her tantrum). I guess she'll just nap in there until she gets past this tantruming.

[Unregistered]

My screamer was removed from the napping room for a month, napping in a crib in my living room. She would yell and yell and yell, and I'd just smillllle and keep doing whatever I was busy with.

Now she naps quietly on a mat in the play room, but only if I put her brother into the living room crib--otherwise, she gets up and picks on him.

I don't mind splitting the kids up at all! It's a challenge on the days I have 4 toddlers, since it's like one of those logic puzzles: Sally cannot nap near Billy. Billy cannot nap near Charles. Betsy won't nap at all. You have three cribs, three napping mats, and nowhere near enough caffeine in your system.

You need an O negative kid, what I call a universal donor. One of those kids you can put in small groups with any other kid. Easygoing, pleasant to be around, ability to get along with anybody, always a good example. They're rare, but worth their weight in gold.

To the op, have you tried insisting she scream? Find a place to put her, let her holler to her hearts content. Every time she slows down or eases up, remind her to keep on hollering, louder and longer. Kind of loses its power when it's something you're making her do. Shouldn't be long until she figures out it's no fun, there's no payoff or reward. Worth a try.

[Mike]

I don't mind splitting the kids up at all! It's a challenge on the days I have 4 toddlers, since it's like one of those logic puzzles: Sally cannot nap near Billy. Billy cannot nap near Charles. Betsy won't nap at all. You have three cribs, three napping mats, and nowhere near enough caffeine in your system.

::
I like logic puzzles

[Pestle]

You need an O negative kid, what I call a universal donor.

I love it! Once I find one, I'll ask the parents if I can keep the kid through high school.

[daycarediva]

I like the O negative kid! I have TWO right now. Literally can buddy them with anyone, put them anywhere, it works.

[Ariana]

If you have somewhere to put her where she is alone and you can crank up the volume on the noise machine I would be doing that. Sleep training like this takes roughly 3 days. Some kids have been rewarded for so long for crying at nap time that it takes a really hard line to get them back napping.

I am the queen of naps I swear! I can bet any kid to nap by sleep training them.

[Pestle]

Back on track, though--my screamer was talkative, too, and would try to negotiate. First the screaming for about 20 minutes. Then, "Miss Pestle, I want out. Miss Pestle, I want out. Miss Pestle, get me out. Miss Pestle, can you get me out?" for at least 20 minutes each day before more screaming and then finally passing out for up to 3 hours.

It was helpful for me to pull the parents aside and talk to them about children's need for sleep at night. The parents had been keeping their kids on a 9:30 bedtime (they said; I bet it was often later). I continued putting notes on the daily report when I saw signs of extreme fatigue. Now that the kids show up well-rested, the naptime process is much easier. Overly tired children resist napping.

[Leigh]

You need an O negative kid, what I call a universal donor. One of those kids you can put in small groups with any other kid. Easygoing, pleasant to be around, ability to get along with anybody, always a good example. They're rare, but worth their weight in gold.

To the op, have you tried insisting she scream? Find a place to put her, let her holler to her hearts content. Every time she slows down or eases up, remind her to keep on hollering, louder and longer. Kind of loses its power when it's something you're making her do. Shouldn't be long until she figures out it's no fun, there's no payoff or reward. Worth a try.

Genius. I went in and told her "let's scream it out together, we'll both cry as loud as we can". When she heard me mimic her, she laid down and told me night night. Let's hope the quiet continues!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Genius. I went in and told her "let's scream it out together, we'll both cry as loud as we can". When she heard me mimic her, she laid down and told me night night. Let's hope the quiet continues!

That's adorable and great. ::