Has a DCD Ever Hit On You?

[Unregistered]

Signed out for privacy.
I have a dcf that has been with me four months. Only met dad in the last month He travels frequently for his job, but is now home more often because of a promotion.
My problem is that he is a perv. I have found him to be unnecessarily chatty, and downright flirty with me. I am not a young voluptuous hottie. I am a 45 year old grandma, but I do take good care of myself. I have been married for 25 years I never dress provocatively and I don't believe I have given off ANY signals that I care for him any further than his children are concerned At first I thought it was just me being too sensitive-but Friday my daughter was here when he picked up, and although I had never mentioned it to her or anyone else, she immediately commented on it when he left. I don't know what to do. It's gotten to where I dread the nights he picks up.

[laundrymom]

I would be honest w him.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.

If he continues then put them on probation.

[Controlled Chaos]

I would be really blunt.

When he says something that makes you uncomfortable tell him. Just like we name feelings with toddlers and tell them to tell other children "stop, I don't like that".

"When you say ____ it makes me uncomfortable."
"That's an inappropriate way to speak to your child's teacher."
"Would you speak to me that way if your wife was here?"

[DaveA]

Never in my home daycare but a couple time in centers DCMs have done so. I pretty much shrugged it off and steered any conversation back to daycare/ DCK matters. If you are uncomfortable with it you need to have a blunt conversation with him about it.

I would be honest w him.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.

If he continues then put them on probation.

This would be good. I would also add that tell him any actions you take will be after a conference with BOTH parents.

[sharlan]

Daycare dad, no. Daycare provider's husband, yes.

I would tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation . If it happened again I would talk to the wife. If it continued, I'd term.

[Unregistered]

Thank you all for your input. I will have to say something. It's inappropriate and so uncomfortable-and honestly throws me off center for the rest of the day

[Puddleduck]

Yup. Tried to cheat on his wife with me. I told the wife who said "Oh don't mind my husband, he was just drunk."
I termed.

[Baby Beluga]

Nope, cant say that one has. I am either really dense or look like an ogre ::

In your case, I would just call DCD out. Be professional, but blunt.

[Leigh]

Never in my home daycare but a couple time in centers DCMs have done so. I pretty much shrugged it off and steered any conversation back to daycare/ DCK matters. If you are uncomfortable with it you need to have a blunt conversation with him about it.





This would be good. I would also add that tell him any actions you take will be after a conference with BOTH parents.

I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! (assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).

[Mike]

I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! (assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).

It wouldn't bother me if a dcm was attracted to me, as long as she's single, since I am too. If she was married, I'd say, "sorry, I don't think your husband would approve". ::

If I were you, I'd just be straight with him and if he continues, let dcm know.

[daycare]

I have ran into this many of times and not trying to sound (I dont know the word) like I have an ego???

I just place myself to where I am the one comfortable. I don't want to assume that they are hitting on me, maybe they are just trying to be friendly to the person that takes care of their child. I have been told I am easy to talk to and that people like talking to me.

I would just be brief and keep it only about the daycare kid. DCD will follow and if he doesn't, then I would say something like, I would like to focus our conversations on dck.

[DaveA]

I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! (assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).

::
Dating a DCM is a line I've never gone anywhere near. My first go round in daycare it was my hometown at my Mom's center- way too easy for it to get complicated. I ran into a DCM at the movie theater one time. Talked to her for a couple minutes in the popcorn line. 3 days later someone told my Mom they saw me and DCM on a date. Let's just say Mom was less than thrilled till she got my side.

When I got back into childcare I was married, so no way. A one center I did have a DCM that my aide was always telling me "She's really into you!" and that she was hitting on me and I was too clueless to realize it. I thought my aide was nuts when she kept at it. I remember telling her one time "I didn't care if she names her favorite (toy) after me- it ain't happening!" When DCM got a promotion/ transfer the last day the child was there she gave me a card. The message inside left NOOOO doubt my aide was right. DW still teases me about it.

It wouldn't bother me if a dcm was attracted to me, as long as she's single, since I am too. If she was married, I'd say, "sorry, I don't think your husband would approve". ::

In this day and age not a safe thing to assume. You never know anymore. She might have a "Hall Pass" ::

Whenever I would work with Directors about finding/ keeping male employees many would inevitably bring up the male/ female dynamic causing complications. I would tell them about a memo a friend gave me from her (all female staffed) center. It read "We are not it the habit of telling our employees what to do in their personal time. However we discourage our employees from dating the daycare parents. Especially the married ones!" There's a story behind that memo, and I'm sure I don't want to know it.

[Mike]

In this day and age not a safe thing to assume. You never know anymore. She might have a "Hall Pass" ::

very true ::

[Blackcat31]

Signed out for privacy.

We have an off topic section that offers you privacy.

Posting as unregistered in the public area opens your post up to ALL readers. The off topic section is available for reading and posting ONLY to registered members. Just so you know.

[Ariana]

Yes I dealt with a flirty dad but it never bothered me. If anything I just told myself I was reading too much into it. I just ignored it and it never affected me in any way except that I would need to cut off the chatter. He once called me in the evening and we chatted for a LOT longer than was appropriate but I couldn't get him off the phone. Again .i just felt I was reading too much into to and let it go.

My current daycare dad catches sneak peeks of my chest area every now and again i just ignore it and cross my arms over my chest as much as I can or grab a sweater before he comes to the door!