I Know We've Talked About This a Lot, But I Have a Biter

[Cat Herder]

I was teasing you a bit. The wording really was funny to me and I hoped a preemptive tension breaker. Biting is one of the hot button issues and is second only to "potty training" in stress and burnout causes. :hug:

Time, patience, shadowing, environment and interrupting/redirecting escalation are my tools. They are the only things that have proven to work for me.

If those don't work the only option (here) is to send the kid to a new environment. The kids needs may be vastly different than what I can offer. It happens. I don't really view it as a termination or a failure. I can't be everything to everyone and not all kids will benefit from my program. There is no shame in dropping the rope.

[Blackcat31]

I can't be everything to everyone and not all kids will benefit from my program. There is no shame in dropping the rope.

I always hear music in my head when I read statements like this. happyface happyface

[LostMyMarbles]

Ok, so I have looked at lots of threads with info and discussion about biters, but it all seems very emotionally charged and I am really just looking for some good advice. My newest kiddo is an angel baby. She is my youngest, 21 months, but is my most agreeable, least tears, easy sweet baby girl. I love her. I love all my kids, but she's especially sweet. So, today a more difficult 3 year old boy, had some confrontations with DCG. He grabs toys from her, she finds new ones. He grabs those, I intervene, he cries, she walks away and finds new activity. Outside we have a slide. Older kids understand the idea of a line to wait your turn, DCG is not there yet. So she tries to get up the steps at the same time he does. He tries to push her off with his whole body, she bites him on the arm. I deal with the situation well, I think. I tell her strongly that we don't use our teeth to hurt our friends. I show her his injury, then have her sit with me while the rest play. All is well the rest of the day. End of day, I tell her parents, find out she has done this before - not regularly, but maybe 5 times in the last 6 months. I tell victims family, they are livid. There aren't even any marks, so I feel like they are over reacting. Help me with next steps. How do I assure victims parents while helping DCG work through this stage? I don't want to lose either family. Thoughts?

None of us have the magic wand that makes biting disappear. We are all just trying our best to solve the problem. I think we have all delt with a bite at one point in time. Those that say the have never had a bitter are lucky or fibbing !

Some times there is not a rhyme or reason. I have had to, what's the nice phrase, oh yea, have a shadow. That is classy for saying I don't trust you and need to take you every where I go until you get sick of it and stop acting out.

Unfortunately there is no magic answer. It's all trial and error for each individual. Sometimes a firm do not bite, it hurts your friends, works. Sometimes not. Sometimes a time out works, sometimes not.

I can appreciate you being alone with several different ages. That's what home care is about. I think the mixing of ages in a small setting teaches children how to relate to children of all ages.

Obviously you don't have eyes and hands everywhere and can not always be there every second. I am sure you are on edge and will be more alert to this situation. No scolding from me, been there, done that. It truly ****s. We are limited as to what we can do. The only advice I can give is do your best to keep the kids safe and try the shadow thing.
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If you do fine the magic cure to biting, please share it!