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As you may know, working at a daycare you are in very close proximity to lots of, typically, other women. There is always gossip floating about the day care. I hate working in this toxic environment but the benefits are too good to pass up. Free child care and lunches can't be beat. What can I do to try and survive.? I am at my wits end.
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That's pretty sexist that you think only women talk about coworkers. Ha. Anyway, if you have a gossip problem at your workplace, I would just shut it down when people try to start. When someone starts saying, "Oh my gosh. Did you know so and so was late and then the mom came in and ..." Just walk away and start cleaning a table or talk loudly over the person, to a child: "Oh, Sam, I see you are climbing onto that couch- ready for a book?!" Or just say something like, "Oh, I can't talk about that right now, not in the classroom" and then don't make yourself available outside of the classroom. I, myself, I love to hear juicy nonsense about families and coworkers hahaha. But I definitely try not to repeat what I hear! How's that for honest feedback! -
I didn't take it as a sexist remark at all. I took it to mean that mostly she works with women because, unfortunately, there are not a lot of men in this profession. Unless PP was being sarcastic, then never mind.
OP, either do what PP suggested and immediately get busy with something else or just come right out and tell her, 'I'm sorry but that's really none of my business' then walk away.Comment
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And welcome to the forums!!!
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blank stone-cold face, as in "I don't care." yes, the gossip will be spilled into your ears, but as long as you put on a face and don't spread it yourself, you should be fine.Comment
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Just don't participate and soon others will get the message.
Also, from what I've seen, men gossip a lot more than women :
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"I like ice cream"
"Do you like ice cream?"Comment
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Not that it's a big deal, but I think the bonded sentence is kind of what made me think you were implying that the reason for the gossip is bc your workplace is mostly women. Again, no big deal, but just remove that sentence, and your question is still the same but without the undertone that could get in the way of what you are really asking, kwim?
Anyhow, the advice given is prob the best you will get unless you want to change workplaces. Gossipers are generally looking for an audience, so refuse to be one and I bet they will move onto someone else.
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Possibly, could be a close competition though. :: I've known a few of both who loved gossiping.
One aunt of mine
didn't like anybody, unless she was talking to them. She had this bad habit of saying very nice things to whoever she was talking to, but at the same time, she would say nasty things about others. Didn't take long for everyone to find out she even said nasty things about you when talking to someone else. I wonder why she has no real friends.
I just ignore or change topic, and rarely ever have people gossiping to me.Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.Comment
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It's the same no matter what industry you work in. I think women have been taught to be competitive with each other. Just don't engage, it's immature to act that way, especially as a grown woman. It says more about that person than the person they are talking about.Comment
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I've never been at a center where there wasn't constant gossip.
I do usually listen when staff from younger rooms start talking about parents and kids. I like to have an idea of what's coming my way. Though, I am careful about what I believe, especially if it's coming out of the mouth of someone I don't trust.
As far as people gossiping about other staff, I usually don't listen (or care). Though if I hear from multiple people that the new floater is lazy/inexperienced/nuts, I'll file that away. But I personally really don't care if toddler teacher A was late or if pre-k teacher B left early or if infant teacher C looks like she's gained weight.
If I don't want to hear it, then I ignore or make up some excuse to not talk. During nap, my favorite line is, "I don't like to talk while the kids are napping." Or sometimes, I'll just disregard the gossiping adult and start a conversation with a child. Or redirect a child. Or whatever.Comment
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Yep. I'm sure there's one out there somewhere, but I've never seen it. ::
As for the men vs women gossiping- I think a certain % of both just have to do it or it ruins their whole day. I tend to just give noncommittal answers and let them get it out of their system. The only time gossip bothers me if it involves someone disclosing something confidential, intentionally lying, or trying to harm someone deliberately. Then my reactions tend to be pretty blunt and not so nice. Otherwise I listen (kind of) and then go about my life.Comment
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Gossiping is human. It is primal. It is what we do. Own your part, minimize the damage, carry on with life.
Social instinct, suggests research by Frank McAndrew, PhD, an applied social psychology professor at Knox College. Our interest in celebrity gossip-as well as dirt on our family, friends and acquaintances-may be a byproduct of our evolutionary past, McAndrew says. Natural selection, he theorizes, pressured people to learn as much as possible about the people in their social network-be they an authority figure, potential romantic partner, teacher, political ally or enemy. Knowing about other group members helped people eschew risky alliances, by informing them, for instance, which group member might double-cross them.
"If you weren't curious about others, you'd pay the consequences," McAndrew says.
In the process, gossiping also helped facilitate bonds by showing others we trust them enough to share information. Throughout most of human history, McAndrew explains, humans not only had to cooperate with a social network of about 200 people for food and protection, they also had to compete with those same in-group members for the most desirable mates. His research about the appeal of gossip is part of a growing body of literature indicating that we're drawn to gossip because it keeps us informed about the lives of the people in our social circle: That social circle is now much bigger, and so less tied to our survival, but the instinct to gossip is just as strong.- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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