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ok, let me start by saying we don't usually watch tv. BUT,.... yesterday the travel channel had a disney thing on. I have a child enrolled that is headed to Disney next week. So,.. I thougth it would be cool to watch it and let them see some of the things there. Nothing major, I just turned on the tv during free time so this 6 yr old could see some things while the kids were playing. So 10 minutes after the show started a 3 yr old was running through the house, screaming at me, not behaving. Yelling to the other little ones to sit down so she could watch tv, to "shut up" so she could hear. etc. First of all,.. never yell at me, second, never tell another child or adult to shut up. ever. period. So I hit record on the dvr, told the older child going to disney she could watch it at nap , and shut off the tv. I reminded the three year old that we did not behave that way and that behavior like that is not the way to see tv. She was mad but got over it. Fast forward to today at drop off,...... they walk in,.. happy,.. then the little girl says,.. can we watch disney world today,..??? Mom says,.. she told me that you didnt let her watch tv yesterday and I told her you would today. I explained to mom what happened and she said,.. well she will let you watch today. I said no,. I wont. Yesterday was a special treat for the child going to disney nexy week. So the little girl proceeds to throw a fit, crying, grabbing moms shirt, Mom says, well it will be on again soon and Miss Jill will record it for you too. Again I say,... no. I won't. TV isnt a normal part of our program and acting this way is not going to get her a tv show. Mom said,.. well I dont see what the big deal is, she wants to see it so record it for her. Let her stay up at nap and watch it. Again I said no,... that I would not. She got angry and said,.. Mommy will buy it for you sweetie, Miss Jill is just being mean. Then she left. So every parent that has come in today has been informed that Miss Jill is a meanie. Then I have to explain what happened. The parents have all just said,..well, when Miss Jill says no she means no. Ive had the family for 2 1/2 years and there have been issues before but nothing this blatant. I now see that if things dont improve Im terming them. I wont be pressured to give into a childs demands because the parent is too weiney to stand up to a 3 yr old. 19 years of this profession and this is the first time this has happened. ugh. ok vent over.
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Last edited by Michael; 09-10-2012, 01:43 PM. -
Wow! I commend you for not blowing up at the mom. Had it been me and a mother said to her daughter "Miss Greta is just being mean" I'd have probably said something along the lines of "No, Miss Greta isn't being mean to you. I'm sorry you feel that way, but this was especially for (girl going to Disney) not you." I would have had a hard time NOT telling mom, in my house these are my rules and I don't bend to the every wish of a spoiled rotten 3 yr old.Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back. -
That can be sticky. I think the parents should respect your rules and giving in to the three year old would have been chaotic. All the kids would have seen that and then expected the same response from you with that behavior. I commend you as well. I would have wanted to terminate them that night for insubordination and teaching the other children rude behavior as well (by calling the teacher/caregiver a meanie).Comment
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Wow, you did the right thing. Some parents don't have a brain. Period.Comment
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That was REALLY thoughtful of you to try to show the girl going to Disney what she might see there. That was even more thoughtful of you to DVR it for her when the other girl was being a monster.
After your story about the mom and saying "Miss Jill is just being mean," it is clear to see where the little girl got her behavior from. I would probably be biting my tongue so I wouldn't say, "Yes, I'm being a meanie and your mom is being a dummy (or other not so friendly word)." I'm just shocked at that mom! I know I shouldn't be, but I am.Comment
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This is a perfect textbook example of why our society is becoming a bunch of self centered brats.
The parents are self centered spoiled brats raising children to be self centered spoiled brats.
Kudo's to you for putting your foot down, I'd have been hard pressed not to say "Well, maybe you and mom can watch it at HOME TODAY, GET OUT!" and held the door for them.
But, I've gotten to the point where I have little to no tolerance for people pulling crap like that one me. Show some respect for our rules, or I will show you the door.Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!
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You should never have power struggles between parent and provider in front of the child. Next time, tell the child to go play, and discuss the issue with the parent calmly, and explain your reasoning. There is no need to argue in front of her, and to allow her to try to manipulate both of you to get what she wants. If the parent cannot agree with you on this and there are continued problems, I would find a replacement and terminate.
Also, I would say something to the parent about undermining your authority and saying, "Miss Jill is a meanie". That sounds incredibly immature, and that parent should apologize to you in front of her daughter. What an awful example she is setting!Comment
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This is so off topic, so please forgive me.
A lot of the time when a child asks me why when I tell them no to a request they have made my answer will be "because I'm mean" and the rest of the children will chime in with
"and don't ever forget it", and then I usually get a hug from the child I told no, and giggles all around.
I cannot for the life of me remember how it started, but sometimes the kids will just say to me "you're so mean" and then give me a hug.
On topic though, if a parent had pulled that with me, I honestly don't know what I would have done. "Too bad" and a shrug comes to mind, but then I would have steamed about it for a month after the fact.Comment
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Those parents need to take a breath and relax. Geesh!
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Update,.. this mom has made no further argument towards my rules. I have "pulled back" the friendship vibe and pushed out the business owner one. I hate to do that because I generally enjoy the laid back way I have with the families. But there comes a time when the flowery frilly door mat is pulled up and the rough tough boot mat laid out instead. still welcoming, and doing the job,.. but a little grittier than the flowery one usually there. Did that make sense?
. I think she realized that my rules are for everyone,... and I may bend things a bit once in awhile,.. but When I say something I mean it. I truly thought she would pull her by now.
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I really hope that this parent is able to learn something from this experience with you. The saying that "it takes a village" really does apply. Children learn from ALL of our behavior and that is how they form their own relationships. It really is sad that this mother is raising her daughter to be this way.
Some of us young mothers (though we make mistakes) are not raising our children to be self-centered brats. And I do worry about the world they are growing up in... because it seems to be the general consensus that there are more parents out there giving in to every whim and teaching their child to disrespect authority.
Good for you for standing firm on your rules. You're not only maintaining order within your dc, but teaching all of the children who witnessed this unsettling event a little something. Hopefully they will retain it.Comment
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Clear as can be....some customers think they can push the limits, and that is the time to remind them that while you may be on "friend" terms, there still is a business relationship.Update,.. this mom has made no further argument towards my rules. I have "pulled back" the friendship vibe and pushed out the business owner one. I hate to do that because I generally enjoy the laid back way I have with the families. But there comes a time when the flowery frilly door mat is pulled up and the rough tough boot mat laid out instead. still welcoming, and doing the job,.. but a little grittier than the flowery one usually there. Did that make sense?. I think she realized that my rules are for everyone,... and I may bend things a bit once in awhile,.. but When I say something I mean it. I truly thought she would pull her by now.Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!Comment
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good 4 u
you did the right thing. this parent is crazy. what nerve. let her go. you don't need the stress.Comment
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