Breast Fed Baby

[Denali]

Long story, I'll post it if I need to, but I enrolled a 2 month old infant. Was first told that baby could take a bottle, than it was baby has only taken a bottle twice for previous provider. That the other provider was closing and couldn't watch baby, than I was told that provider was not closing just going to pre school only daycare.

Found out today that

A) baby does not take a bottle. Text forwarded to me by DCM from other provider "Remind her to do the squirt a little, wait a sec, squirt a little etc." when I asked how they were having success with a bottle. When I asked if baby ****ed on the bottle at all mom said "she thinks she does"

B) I than asked what techniques were they using it at home with her and dad to get baby to take a bottle, what temp does she like it, and so on, Dcm said "oh DCD doesn't feed the baby, I do all the feedings. I don't know how hot she likes her bottles... Let me ask previous provider"

So they are not doing any bottle training at home. I had been under the impression that they were working on it at home...

So I had mom come by and feed baby at 12:30pm.

Mom has supplied me with five different types of bottles, She has ordered three other kinds. She is setting up an appointment for a lactation consultant to come in.

I would like the baby to work but will not let a baby starve. What would you say or how would you word a letter to mom about her needing to put in effort at home the bottle train?

Baby scheduled to be in care from 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM . Mom has told me that she can come by on her lunch hours to breast-feed if she needs to. 10 hours with only one feeding seems long for a 2 month old ...

[Denali]

And if I wanted to stop the two-week trial today (the first day, which makes me feel like a butt and a quitter) how would you word it?

If it wasn't for the fact that DCP are not doing any of the work at home, and that my son has sensory and stress issues, I feel like I could keep working on getting her to take a bottle. But we are making are bills as is, calling it quit now would be healthier for my son. But I already told DCM I would meet with the lactation consultant tomorrow...

[MunchkinWrangler]

I refuse for an infant to go longer than 3 hours without feeding. I don't allow for the mom to come and breastfeed as it disrupts our schedule. If the mom needs to come it is pickup for the day.

I support breastfeeding but I am also under the strong belief that if care is needed, the infant needs to successfully take a bottle.

This would be a deal breaker with me. I would term because I feel it's the parents responsibility to prepare their child for daycare.

On a side note, I just had an interview with an infant that is refusing the bottle, and they are not working on it because the infant is refusing. This is a red flag and I am not so sure unless it can be proved to me if they decide to use my services.

I don't know what mom is trying to accomplish with the lactation consultant, they don't help with taking a bottle other than using a nipple cover but that to me isn't the same as taking a bottle.:confused:

[Mike]

This would be a deal breaker with me. I would term because I feel it's the parents responsibility to prepare their child for daycare.

That's the key point in my opinion. I've been seeing a lot of posts lately about problems because a baby is ready. If parents plan to use daycare, they should have the brains to know the baby has to be able to be fed by others. If baby isn't prepared, it's not time for daycare.

[Denali]

Terming care is a hard part for me... I do not do good with confrontation. DCM has been very nice and has already told me that she has a plan B so not to hesitate to tell her if it's not going to work out.

But still...

How would you go about wording it?

And I'm not sure exactly what is going to be accomplished with the lactation consultant but mom says that she will be able to help me get baby to work on taking a bottle.

But I don't want to discourage breast feeding. Which is what I feel I'm doing. But I can't take care of a young infant that won't take a bottle. I feel if parents want to have baby in a daycare, than its their responsibility to get the baby ready for daycare. Which includes having baby be able to take a bottle. I will be more than happy to help them bottle train, but it's not my job to do all the work I feel...

Is that unreasonable?

[Blackcat31]

Terming care is a hard part for me... I do not do good with confrontation. DCM has been very nice and has already told me that she has a plan B so not to hesitate to tell her if it's not going to work out.

But still...

How would you go about wording it?

And I'm not sure exactly what is going to be accomplished with the lactation consultant but mom says that she will be able to help me get baby to work on taking a bottle.

But I don't want to discourage breast feeding. Which is what I feel I'm doing. But I can't take care of a young infant that won't take a bottle. I feel if parents want to have baby in a daycare, than its their responsibility to get the baby ready for daycare. Which includes having baby be able to take a bottle. I will be more than happy to help them bottle train, but it's not my job to do all the work I feel...

Is that unreasonable?

Dear DCM

This is written notice that care services are being terminated effective September X, 2016.

As a group care provider I do not have the staff or ability to manage bottle training.

While I fully support and encourage breast feeding, preparing your baby for care is a parental responsibility.

Sincerely,

Provider

[MunchkinWrangler]

No it's not unreasonable. Mom is acting like this is your responsibility and it's not. You don't need someone to come in and "train" you on giving a bottle. That's insulting to say the very least. She should have the consultant train her.

[Denali]

Termed the baby. Asked dcm if if her or dcd were at all willing to do bottle training at home. Basically said no, that I should be able to do it here and she didn't want her breast feeding to be effected. Said lactation consultant advised against it and had told her that any good daycare should be able to bottle a train the baby...

So told her it wasn't going to work. Mom said no problem, she kind of figured when I called for her to come feed baby a second time and that she couldn't be leaving work like that...

My DH and I have talked and I will no longer be taking infants as all other ones I've been interviewing and have taken over the past year are all baby worn 24/7 and have no idea how to be independent and cry as soon as you're no longer touching them are within touching distance, sleep in swing or held while they sleep, or can't take a bottle. And the DCP's have no interest on helping with transition into daycare and completely view it as my responsibility.

[Unregistered]

I'm feeling your pain! I have a now 15 week old and while I do think the dcf is working with me, it is minimal. I posted about it last week and this week.

Dcm has always been able to come breastfeed when necessary, but today it took her an hour to get here (she's 5 minutes away). Dcf had to take dcg home and they have until Tuesday to fix this.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Termed the baby. Asked dcm if if her or dcd were at all willing to do bottle training at home. Basically said no, that I should be able to do it here and she didn't want her breast feeding to be effected. Said lactation consultant advised against it and had told her that any good daycare should be able to bottle a train the baby...

So told her it wasn't going to work. Mom said no problem, she kind of figured when I called for her to come feed baby a second time and that she couldn't be leaving work like that...

My DH and I have talked and I will no longer be taking infants as all other ones I've been interviewing and have taken over the past year are all baby worn 24/7 and have no idea how to be independent and cry as soon as you're no longer touching them are within touching distance, sleep in swing or held while they sleep, or can't take a bottle. And the DCP's have no interest on helping with transition into daycare and completely view it as my responsibility.

I honestly think lactation consultants are a bunch of crap. When I had ds, I lost a lot of blood and had to have a blood transfusion. I was unable to produce a good supply that quickly stopped. I was told by the consultant at the hospital and a private appointment that I just didn't want to breastfeed and I wasn't trying hard enough. :confused:

Needless, to say my OB took care of that and was very sympathetic considering my other medical concerns. My body was trying to heal itself and was "busy". I accepted it but will never forget how terrible they made me feel, like I was a failure as a mother.

Anyway, I think you made the right decision. I don't understand why there are these parents out there that refuse to parent. They literally want nanny care, like they are billionaires that don't have time to raise their children. I just don't get the entitlement and why you want to have someone else do the mothering. I keep getting families where the mother is so disconnected to their child, it's just not cool to be a nurturing anymore. Everyone wants to be this cutthroat business woman.

[Denali]

I'm feeling your pain! I have a now 15 week old and while I do think the dcf is working with me, it is minimal. I posted about it last week and this week.

Dcm has always been able to come breastfeed when necessary, but today it took her an hour to get here (she's 5 minutes away). Dcf had to take dcg home and they have until Tuesday to fix this.

I'm sorry! It can be so hard!

In my case I think I could have done all the work and gotten baby trained, but it would have taken good long while, i also have 2 special needs children in care that long periods of crying can very negatively effect, and I do not feel that it's fully my job (just like potty training) to get a child ready.

I can do my part, but I will not do the parents too.

[Denali]

I honestly think lactation consultants are a bunch of crap. When I had ds, I lost a lot of blood and had to have a blood transfusion. I was unable to produce a good supply that quickly stopped. I was told by the consultant at the hospital and a private appointment that I just didn't want to breastfeed and I wasn't trying hard enough. :confused:

Needless, to say my OB took care of that and was very sympathetic considering my other medical concerns. My body was trying to heal itself and was "busy". I accepted it but will never forget how terrible they made me feel, like I was a failure as a mother.

Anyway, I think you made the right decision. I don't understand why there are these parents out there that refuse to parent. They literally want nanny care, like they are billionaires that don't have time to raise their children. I just don't get the entitlement and why you want to have someone else do the mothering. I keep getting families where the mother is so disconnected to their child, it's just not cool to be a nurturing anymore. Everyone wants to be this cutthroat business woman.

Sorry about your lactation consultant experience. I had a similar one with my son when he was born...

I'm seeing the opposite. the mom's (and dad's) want to do the hugs, snuggles, happy baby, no cry, "good guy" stuff but want me to do all the "bad guy" work. I think what mom's ( I say mom because that's mostly who I deal with) seem to want is the whole "mommy is here and going to rescue you from the mean daycare lady!" But than don't like it when the baby/kids cry at drop off or don't like coming here and seem to be all like "what are you doing to my baby?!" Attitude.

Well if you helped to teacher child not to hit, kick, shove others that they might like coming here better. If you help with having SOME kind of routine and boundaries at home coming to a place where there are rules won't be so difficult for the children and they may actually like coming...

Thing is once the kids get used to the fact that daycare is different then home, they don't want to go home. Then I see the moms/dads try to overdo it with them making their kid happy so they get the same effect of their child not wanting to be dropped off and stay with them.

[Snowmom]

Termed the baby. Asked dcm if if her or dcd were at all willing to do bottle training at home. Basically said no, that I should be able to do it here and she didn't want her breast feeding to be effected. Said lactation consultant advised against it and had told her that any good daycare should be able to bottle a train the baby...

So told her it wasn't going to work. Mom said no problem, she kind of figured when I called for her to come feed baby a second time and that she couldn't be leaving work like that...

My DH and I have talked and I will no longer be taking infants as all other ones I've been interviewing and have taken over the past year are all baby worn 24/7 and have no idea how to be independent and cry as soon as you're no longer touching them are within touching distance, sleep in swing or held while they sleep, or can't take a bottle. And the DCP's have no interest on helping with transition into daycare and completely view it as my responsibility.

What the @!#*
I'd be asking for that lactation consultant's phone number and giving her a piece of my mind. That's downright insulting.

[Unregistered]

I'm glad you were able to be done with it today. Every time I enroll an infant I always say I'm not enrolling anymore but the truth is I really don't have that option. In my area infants and Sa are all I get calls for 😫