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I have a 4mos old who started 3 weeks ago. The first week dcb was totally fine, however week 2 was horrible. He wants to be held all day and will scream bloody murder until you pick him up. Of course because I have other kids in my care I can't possibly hold him all day. While he's screaming there's no tears coming down his face and as soon as you walk in his direction he stops crying because he assumes you're gonna pick him up. I came up with a theory that maybe mom and dad are holding more to make up for missed time but mom says this is not the case. I think he gets held while he sleeps too because he wakes up as soon as I go to lay him down. I have had issues with other infants in my care being held at home during nap time and I was able to get them into the routine of back sleeping in a pnp here but I don't know about this one. He will not cry himself to sleep. He will scream until he's picked up! Once he's picked up he's so happy, smiling and talking and I enjoy that time with him, but I need him to be able to get put down so I can tend to the other little ones. I also really like the parents. They are so nice and so far a pleasure to deal with. Any advice on how to get this little guy to settle in?
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Time and patience. :hug:
Infants really can't be held too much at this age. 12 weeks.
Does he calm when being spoken to? Can he see you while you tend to others? Is he weaning from motion equipment?- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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I am always within sight. Sometimes when I have him in a swing I'm sitting right in front of him talking to him and he'll smile a bit then he wants to be held. When he's doing tummy time I'm always right there on the floor with him, he still gets upset. When he's on his back in a activity mat I'm right there next to him he's not interested in the toys, lights, or music he wants to be held.Comment
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Babies tend to need training when it comes to being introduced to group care. I always think of the first week as the "easing in" period, where I build my relationship with baby and try to develop the healthy attachment baby needs. The second week, while still being the happy smiley daycare lady, I work on getting baby adjusted to our schedule. This can mean using CIO for short periods, even while i am sitting right next to baby and they are doing tummy time, or playing on the play mat, or in the exersaucer. I talk to them, reassure them that it will be ok, and work on getting them acclimated. I have found that all of my babies have adjusted to my schedule and settle in within 2-4 weeks.
It will get better, but it definitely takes time and patience to make progress! :hug:Comment
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Around the 4 month mark is when they start to stray from wanting to be held all the time. They begin to realize that you will come back, they will get future needs met, etc. I agree with PP-time and patience...it should get better soon.Comment
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Thank you ladies for your advice and words of encouragement. It makes me feel so much better.Comment
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It sounds like he is testing you
He wants to see how you respond to his cries. I respond based on what type of cry and what he needs. If he cries while doing tummy time/play time, I show encouragement and a positive attitude, but I don't rescue him from his setting. If he is crying from a dirty diaper, hunger, ect., I respond as quick as I can. He learns to trust you this way. He is at that age where he will want independent play if he is encouraged and shown that it is a positive experience. Hold him, love him, keep that calm, positive demeanor and I bet he will calm down. Good luck to you!
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I have a full-time and a part-time infant, both of whom are from attachment parenting households. Baby 2 is a 4-month-old who screams 3/4 of the time after a month of full-time care--screams himself hoarse, raging and beating his hands against me, even when I babywear--and Baby 1, a 7-month-old who is the chillest. Baby 1 started out just like Baby 2 a couple of months ago.
It'll get better.
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Yesterday he cried himself hoarse during lunch. I had changed him then fed him. He fell asleep in my arms so I laid him down and he woke up immediately. I had to make lunch for the others and feed the other baby I have in care so he screamed himself hoarse. I felt so bad for the little guy. I'm glad to know it'll get better. I've so far only started infants at the 6 mos mark so this is my first experience with a 4 mos old in my daycare. I'm glad to know it'll get better cause I was kinda panicking for a second.Comment
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Sometimes I wear my screamer until he passes out, but the screaming right in my face, and the way he goes rigid and arches his back until he's partway out of the carrier and his head
ls back, makes that a crummy quick fix.
Routine:
1. Check diaper (front and back)
2. Check clock to see when last feeding was (my screamer wants a nipple in his mouth but won't accept any pacifier)
3. Hold him/wear him for 5-15 minutes depending on how busy I am with other kids
4. Put him down in a crib within view and switch off the part of my brain that stresses about screaming
5. Check diaper again in 1/2 hour if he hasn't passed out
It feels like a crisis because of the screaming, but think about it--you'd do the same with a non-screaming older baby who was just fussy, and it wouldn't be a big deal.Comment
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