Oblivious

[TwinMama]

I have a 4 year old dcb with personal space issues. He was gone for the summer because his mom is a teacher and she's back at work so he's back to daycare.

I talked to him today about being respectful of people's personal space, and how he can't do that at school when he starts tomorrow. He said "ok".

When Mom came and picked him up a few days ago he immediately grabbed one of the other kids and layed on the floor holding them saying,"I got you!"

I told him to let him go and mom says,"dcb you can't wrestle with him like that ".

Ummm...how about we don't wrestle here at all.

Anyhow, I've tried talking with mom about other issues and she just always says "I'll talk to him about it."

I just don't want him to go to school and get a shock and in trouble for everything.

Would you discuss this with Mom or just let it go?

[daycarediva]

Mom, as we discussed to prepare dcb for school he is working on keeping hands and feet to self, _______ and ________. He really enjoys ____________ and does great at ________________ though! Thanks for helping me get dcb ready!

Then I would leave it. YOU brought it up, so if school says anything, Mom cannot come back on you.

[Cat Herder]

Would you discuss this with Mom or just let it go?

No, I would not discuss it.

I handle stuff that happens on my time and in my home. I leave them to handle their stuff their way.

As much as my skin crawls when parents inevitably ooze the words "that never happens at home" some of it is true.

How they act at home and how they act at your house will never be the same. Both have different rules, expectations, environments and inhabitants.

The best solution to what may be building is to have kids ready to go and meet parents at the door. It stops negative drop-off and pick-up behaviors. Adult and child alike.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Seems like you've already discussed this. I wouldn't say anything. The school will now reinforce that he must keep his hands to himself.

[Blackcat31]

I have a 4 year old dcb with personal space issues. He was gone for the summer because his mom is a teacher and she's back at work so he's back to daycare.

I talked to him today about being respectful of people's personal space, and how he can't do that at school when he starts tomorrow. He said "ok".

When Mom came and picked him up a few days ago he immediately grabbed one of the other kids and layed on the floor holding them saying,"I got you!"

I told him to let him go and mom says,"dcb you can't wrestle with him like that ".

Ummm...how about we don't wrestle here at all.

Anyhow, I've tried talking with mom about other issues and she just always says "I'll talk to him about it."

I just don't want him to go to school and get a shock and in trouble for everything.

Would you discuss this with Mom or just let it go?

I've used hula hoops with kids that have issues with personal space.

It works great and helps them with a visual so they understand what "personal space" means.

As far as discussing with mom, I would absolutely discuss it but I'd keep it simple. "DCM, Johnny needs to remember that we keep our hands to ourselves and do not touch anyone unless invited to do so."

Rinse and repeat. If necessary I'd set a limit on the number of times you need to redirect him before you call for pick up.

When something becomes an issue for someone, they are usually motivated to change. If mom isn't really bothered by his behavior at daycare, she won't be of any help. Calling for pick up is the motivation some parents need to get their parenting groove on.

Physical issues with kids are becoming more prevalent in recent years and along with lack of respect for others and being taught perspective thinking I don't see it getting any better unless we start having no tolerance policies and strict consequences.

[TwinMama]

I've used hula hoops with kids that have issues with personal space.

It works great and helps them with a visual so they understand what "personal space" means.

As far as discussing with mom, I would absolutely discuss it but I'd keep it simple. "DCM, Johnny needs to remember that we keep our hands to ourselves and do not touch anyone unless invited to do so."

Rinse and repeat. If necessary I'd set a limit on the number of times you need to redirect him before you call for pick up.

When something becomes an issue for someone, they are usually motivated to change. If mom isn't really bothered by his behavior at daycare, she won't be of any help. Calling for pick up is the motivation some parents need to get their parenting groove on.

Physical issues with kids are becoming more prevalent in recent years and along with lack of respect for others and being taught perspective thinking I don't see it getting any better unless we start having no tolerance policies and strict consequences.

I completely agree. It's getting ridiculous how the kids are acting and the parents jump for them. It's worse all the time. I think that if they aren't preventing bad behavior they're promoting it.

[MarinaVanessa]

I've used hula hoops with kids that have issues with personal space.

PLEASE elaborate! I have a kiddo with personal space issues and I wanted to try something like this but not sure how to go about it.

[Blackcat31]

PLEASE elaborate! I have a kiddo with personal space issues and I wanted to try something like this but not sure how to go about it.

Everywhere child goes, the hula hoop goes. He plays INSIDE the hula hoop. That is his personal space or bubble.

No one else may enter his personal space unless invited to do so. This includes toys and any other materials.

It works when you just have one child needing the visual but it helps a ton when the entire classroom is using them. Everyone can "SEE" where everyone else's personal space begins and ends.

Kids need visuals to understand and visuals to remember.

It's a fantastic way to teach them personal space without shaming or making them feel bad. Unwanted touch includes hugging too...I've had my fair share of kids that thought personal space was something used only when you don't want to share or be hit etc... not everyone wants a hug either.

[TwinMama]

I did it!!!

Mom said "Was it a good day?" To him. I simply said,"We had some talks about keeping hands to ourselves especially when the others are telling us no. We also talked about how we absolutely can't do that in school."

Mom just said," Yeh nope we can't."

So at least I put it out there as being a no no here again.

I know every mom thinks their kids rocks and they should, but she's going to have a hard time dealing with incidents at school if there are any. She just thinks he can literally do no wrong.