Thug Culture

[Leigh]

I've got a 3.5 yo boy whose dad is a wanna be gangster (he recently went to jail and will be away for a long time, so dad is out of the picture). This kid calls the other kids "dawg", wears his hat ****eyed (he comes in with one every day), and just sounds awful to me (uses a lot of what I consider "gang slang" and uses a fake accent that neither of his parents speak with). We live in a rural area, the child is native/caucasian. I believe his dad has been hanging with a violent native gang recently.

Would you say anything to correct the child's grammar? On one hand, it's not my place to criticize a child's culture. On the other, I don't want my other kids picking up this child's language habits.

I apologize if I offend anyone with this question-I know that race, religion, and culture are tough things to discuss, but this isn't even the child's culture, it's something that Dad fell into about 8 months ago (and what caused his parents to split up).

Any advice?

[TXhomedaycare]

I would correct some of it but not all of it. You don't want to seem like you are picking on him all day. My dress code does not allow hats (it is a distraction not a necessity for a 3 year old). If he calls someone dawg I would say "His name is X not dawg. Can you try that again?" I always call my boys gentlemen and my girls ladies and have them use good posture and manners and they seem to take pride in that and everyone elevates to that level when they join group. I am black and I'm not offended ::

[Controlled Chaos]

Keep it basic

Do you allow hats? I don't allow hats or sunglasses because the kids lose/break them and fight over them. I am an accessory free daycare So I would hand the hat to mom at the door "to keep it safe"

Grammar - I would repeat back to him what he said but in the correct grammar, in the same way I would repeat a word back to a child with a speech impediment.

Dawg - if it bugs you, I might play it off as silly. And say "Dog?! I thought Sara was a cat? Sam are you a horse? Who's a fish?" etc. or completely ignore it.

Focus on redirecting specific behavior and I imagine the rest will fade away in time.

Poor kiddo - its so hard to lose a parent He's probably very confused.

[Blackcat31]

I would correct some of it but not all of it. You don't want to seem like you are picking on him all day. My dress code does not allow hats (it is a distraction not a necessity for a 3 year old). If he calls someone dawg I would say "His name is X not dawg. Can you try that again?" I always call my boys gentlemen and my girls ladies and have them use good posture and manners and they seem to take pride in that and everyone elevates to that level when they join group. I am black and I'm not offended ::

Same here.

I don't allow the kids to say things like "Hey Dude!" or "hey girlfriend" etc... I re-direct exactly as you mentioned "Her name is Sally."

I also refer to my kiddos as gentlemen and ladies as well.

I have a dress code that means comfortable, easy fitting clothing that has not pictures, labels or wording that negatively portrays any other culture, religion, race, sex etc.... I allow and actually encourage the kids to bring hats for outside play but the hats must meet the same guidelines as above.
Wouldn't wearing it sideways would defeat the purpose of wearing a hat? I would correct that or require a different hat for outside time and tell him he could wear his hat on his time.

I agree that it sets a tone for a more "mature" and more inclusive environment for everyone.

[Cat Herder]

I've got a 3.5 yo boy

uses a fake accent that neither of his parents speak with.

Would you say anything to correct the child's grammar?

it's not my place to criticize a child's culture.

this isn't the child's culture

Any advice?

Stick with the facts that only apply to the boy and it becomes very simple. ::

Insert the words "british accent" (my personal fav to listen to on audiobooks) to see if your plan is the same; if you need a litmus test.

[Leigh]

I don't allow hats. He has to remove it as soon as he gets here (it gets hung up where the jackets go).

[Cat Herder]

Stick with the facts that only apply to the boy and it becomes very simple. ::

Insert the words "british accent" (my personal fav to listen to on audiobooks) to see if your plan is the same; if you need a litmus test.

We call it hip-hop culture down here.

Edit: That was weird, I thought I added this to my previous post. Man, I am getting old...

[Scout]

I absolutely would. Just today I had to tell my dck that "we don't talk like that" because they were playing ninja's and one said, "I'll stab you with this sword" (his arm) and I know they were just being boys but, I would not want them repeating that at home just as I wouldn't want them calling their friends "dawg" at home.

[Unregistered]

Got the same thing going one here-but add to it a 4 yo boy who has his front teeth capped gold-I **** you not!