Parents Who Keep Their Kids Up Late

[Pestle]

I'm going to probably be the odd one out here but I'm okay with that ... I worry about what I do with the children and deal with their behavior when they're in my care and I let the parents worry about what the kids do and their behavior at home. I don't dictate what they do with their kids on their own time just like I expect them not to dictate to me what I do on my time.

I worry about kids biting me, spitting on me, tearing my possessions up, and falling headfirst onto my floor because they were just that sleepy.

[Ariana]

I'm going to probably be the odd one out here but I'm okay with that ... I worry about what I do with the children and deal with their behavior when they're in my care and I let the parents worry about what the kids do and their behavior at home. I don't dictate what they do with their kids on their own time just like I expect them not to dictate to me what I do on my time.

This is me pretty much. I state my concerns with parents and if they don't listen then I do what is best for the child on my watch.

[Ariana]

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree on that because as a working parent back then, I felt our time together was mors important than him getting one extra 1/2 hour of sleep. I am 39 and lost my mother last winter. My kids were born when I was 31 and 35. I'm sprry, but, life is much too short to worry about stuff like this when my kids got adequete sleep, just not on what others consider a decent schedule. Putting him to bed at 8:30 when he was a baby and toddler is not a decision I regret. Because not only was it my time with him, it was HIS time with me.

It is odd and maybe I misread your post but you mentioned him using his kindle and watching tv. To me that is not quality time with you. I can 100% guarantee you did not spend all that time with your child.

[MarinaVanessa]

I worry about kids biting me, spitting on me, tearing my possessions up, and falling headfirst onto my floor because they were just that sleepy.

Then my focus and my talk with the parents would be on those things that were happening on my watch, not particularly on the reason. I guess I don't particularly care about the "why", I only care about the "what".

My discussion would be "Hey DCM your child was extremely aggressive today. DCK threw toys, damaged furniture and bit me. None of this is ok. If the behavior doesn't improve then you're going to need to look for other daycare arrangements. What is your plan?".

Honestly, we can talk to parents until we're blue in the face but that doesn't mean they'll listen. I'd say that in my time doing family daycare maybe about 15% of parents with children of challenging behavior actually did something to improve their child's behavior. maybe another 10% did something after being told that I'd have to terminate care if they didn't change something. The rest didn't change one thing and I had to terminate. I'm just saying that most parents don't want to be told how to parent.

[childcaremom]

Then my focus and my talk with the parents would be on those things that were happening on my watch, not particularly on the reason. I guess I don't particularly care about the "why", I only care about the "what".

My discussion would be "Hey DCM your child was extremely aggressive today. DCK threw toys, damaged furniture and bit me. None of this is ok. If the behavior doesn't improve then you're going to need to look for other daycare arrangements. What is your plan?".

Honestly, we can talk to parents until we're blue in the face but that doesn't mean they'll listen. I'd say that in my time doing family daycare maybe about 15% of parents with children of challenging behavior actually did something to improve their child's behavior. maybe another 10% did something after being told that I'd have to terminate care if they didn't change something. The rest didn't change one thing and I had to terminate. I'm just saying that most parents don't want to be told how to parent.

[Scout]

It is odd and maybe I misread your post but you mentioned him using his kindle and watching tv. To me that is not quality time with you. I can 100% guarantee you did not spend all that time with your child.

That is now after we have read 3-4 books. He always watches tv or plays his kindle before bed, as part of his routine at night. I don't understand why you are being so judgmental when you don't know the relationship I have with my children??:confused: My child who just started kindergarten this week was home with me from the time he was 18 mos old until now, when he is 5. The child I said I put to bed at 8:30 is my oldest and he was at daycare from 6:30 in the am til around 4 pm....so YES, I did spend the whole night with him before putting him to sleep at 8:30. I thought I was clear this was when I worked outside of the home. Times were different and because of that time, no way would I judge a parent for wanting to spend more than 2-3 hours at night with their child after they pick them up from us. Sometimes, I think some providers seem to forget the other side. Being a working parent who works outside of the home is a whole different situation than being one who works inside the home, with your child there all day with you. Different amounts of time spent with your child for each, so, Yes, I would never begrudge a parent for keeping their child up a little later to make up for lost time. Their child will not remember that sleep, but, they will remember curling up with mommy or daddy and spending time with them.

MarinaVanessa, you are exactly what I am talking about and that is how I feel in this. It is not up to us when a parent should be putting their child to bed. I've been on the other side and know how precious and short those hours after work are, especially when you factor in dinner, cleaning up, etc. Working parents still need to do all their own stuff and get a decent amount of sleep themselves.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I'm going to probably be the odd one out here but I'm okay with that ... I worry about what I do with the children and deal with their behavior when they're in my care and I let the parents worry about what the kids do and their behavior at home. I don't dictate what they do with their kids on their own time just like I expect them not to dictate to me what I do on my time.

Agree 100%!! I don't make their problems mine, I just deal with what I can while they are in my care. My #1 house rule (it was with my ds and now with daycare), verbatim: if you're crabby, you go bed. End of story. Has always solved any issues.