Parents in Play Area

[Unregistered]

Exactly! I have no problem with them mom seeing my play area. I have spent thousands of dollars on it and am very proud of it. What I won't allow is mom to have access to the children that I don't allow other parents to have access to. For a moment, take the word mom out and substitute it with dad, grandpa, uncle, live in boyfriend or teenage brother. Now, would your answers about allowing her in the area the same? Because, if I bend the room for mom, shouldn't I be expected to bend it for any of the above?
I was very clear that she could see it anytime I don't have children in there.

[happymom]

I see about 40 children every time I drop off and pick up my kids. Every day. None of which are mine.

Other parents see my kids when they drop off and pick up their kids, as well. I guess I have a hard time seeing what the problem is with parents "seeing" kids that are not their own. Unless you cater to highly sensitive parents.

[happymom]

But it's your business, your rules.

I just have a hard time understanding where all this sensitivity is coming from.

[Blackcat31]

I see about 40 children every time I drop off and pick up my kids. Every day. None of which are mine.

Other parents see my kids when they drop off and pick up their kids, as well. I guess I have a hard time seeing what the problem is with parents "seeing" kids that are not their own. Unless you cater to highly sensitive parents.

Again, using NannyDe's setup.... her clients don't see each other. She is private home care.

You attend a center. Center's have environments that are vastly different and more than one staff (adult) present.

That makes a difference in some situations.

I do NOT agree with OP's substitution of dad/grandpa/uncle etc as a reason to more cautious as if I had the same rule as she did, it wouldn't be directed towards men. That's HIGHLY offensive in my opinion...but a totally different topic all together.

[Rockgirl]

I mainly just didn't understand why the mom would have to ask in order to be shown the playroom, where her child would be all day. I conduct my interviews in the playroom, but of course we don't all do things the same, and that's great. I wonder if the mom was told that she wouldn't have access?

[happymom]

I don't get it either.
To me it seems like not-a-big-deal type thing.
But sometimes if you give an inch, people take a mile...

[Baby Beluga]

I can see both sides of this - the providers and the parents.

As a provider, I only schedule interviews after hours when children are not present. On a tour/interview I show parents all areas their children have access to - classroom, bathroom, kitchen/dining room and our outdoor space. As a parent I would want to see the areas my child had access to and I feel as a provider it is something I want parents to feel comfortable with. It gets tricky when parents get to see and/or interact with other children in the group. For example - I have had parents ask how old the other children are, when their birthday's are, why a particular child so short for his/her age (seriously...) and why a particular child "never speaks." NONE of that information is another parents business. But because of my setup, it is impossible for a parent to pick up/drop off without seeing the other children. It's a catch 22 really.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Hi. I have a new family that has been here two days for trial care, and will be here this week two day-then 4 days part time beginning next week.
My play are is in a separate part of my home from the drop off area. When parents come to me for interview I meet during times when I don't have children so that I can show them out play area, etc. This mom didn't ask to see play area, and be use I was doing a Sunday morning interview I was rushed, trying to get done so I could still make it to late morning services. She never asked. I totally forgot to show her as we had company staying here that weekend and things were hectic I do not allow parents in the play area while I have children in there that don't belong to them. If their children were the only ones in there I wouldn't have a problem.
So today, previous mom I spoke about dropped in (she had dropped her boys at school. They are 4 and 6). She stood at the front door. I had two children dropped of during this time. She commented on the one child who had two different shoes on. (He is strong willed and his mom didn't feel like fighting him). She commented "oh wow" that I had two kids being dropped off that would be transported to school when preschool starts. Asked how many kids I transport to school (3). Asked when she could see the playroom when kids weren't here. I told her (since I offer second shift care) that it I have kids till 11 during the week. Another "oh wow". So I said it would need to be this Saturday or Sunday. Another "oh wow". Her suspicious nature and attitude just really made me nervous and kinda sent red flags that she would be a troublesome person. She left her last provider because her boys didn't think she played with them enough.
What are your feeling and take on this mom?

Just some things on what I bolded above.
1. Sounds like the interview should have been planned better so she could have had the full tour. She doesn't know your house, so it is really up to you to show her the parts of it used for daycare. That is really my only defense of her in this situation however.

2. She drops in at a busy time when her children are not even in your care (they are at school right?) so she can follow up with the interview basically. She should have asked more questions at the interview and if she had more concerns and needed to speak with you, she should have asked to set a time that would be convenient to discuss any issues.

3. This is the exact reason many providers do not allow parents around other daycare kids. In that few minute interchange, she made numerous judgements about another child in your care and even though that may not seem like a big deal, it can lead to many issues later on. One of them being you having to justify your care of other children and how it might impact HER children. (you even explained about how the mom did not want to fight the kid about the shoe and frankly, that is really none of HER or our business why he had two shoes on and what led to it, but in her mind, he may be a defiant child who could take your attention away from her little baby boys).

4. The last two are reasons I would not take her. She knew about the play room rule and yet still tried to come into your work on a day when her kids were not there in order to get you to break your own policy. Her other questions could have been answered by phone/email, but she wanted to see the playroom on a day she knew she could not. I would not care for that. As well as the fact that she would leave a provider because they didn't play with her kids. They are 4 and 6 years old and should be capable of playing on their own, so if they need constant stimulation, I would pass on that fact alone.

[nannyde]

As a parent, I can not understand this. Why wouldn't a provider not allow a parent to see the play area? I would assume they have something to hide.

I don't allow parents in the playroom when there are other kids in the room. They go through the playrooms during the interview. I set the interviews at 430 pm when almost all the kids are gone. They do see my staff assistant and maybe one or two kids when they tour the playrooms but it is only when my staff is directly doing something with them. I don't answer questions about the other kids.

They usually see kids leaving at 430 as it is a common pick up time. That way they briefly meet a few happy customers who they may end up calling for references.

If they want to inspect the playrooms at any other time the room would be emptied first of kids. They are welcome to spend as much time as they like in the rooms BUT they can't supervise their own child's play in the rooms. I don't allow parents alone in a playroom with any children. Too much liability and too much work to fix the room after they allow their kid to reek havoc.

If parents want to go thru the playroom I would allow them to come after hours and spend as long as they want going thru them. Hours if they want. They just can't bring their kid or do it when other kids are in my house.

If I were the parent I would want to see the inventory and equipment. I think most parents are more interested in the kids than the rooms especially if they get to have their kid play with the kids in the room.

[happymom]

But why?

Why don't you want your clients to know what other kids their child is playing with all day?

[nannyde]

But why?

Why don't you want your clients to know what other kids their child is playing with all day?

Because it doesn't matter. The relationship is with me. Trust me that I will provide sweet, kind, respectful, obedient, loving children.

I think it's fair to ask how many children and the breakdown of their ages. Other than that... the indicator of compliance in numbers... it doesn't matter if the kids are Joey.. age two... Susie age four... Johnny age six months...

Kids come and go... they don't have a thing to do with how your kid is being cared for. They will have a time together and then move on with their lives. I've never had a kid in 21 years that ended up going to the same school after they left daycare. I've had a small handful who kept in touch via Facebook after they aged out. Before Facebook they had no contact at all.

I do believe parents have the right to count kids at any time. If a parent wanted to pop in unannounced and count kids and then leave, I wouldn't object. As long as they took their kid with them when they left and just stayed the minute or two it would take to count.

I've always offered that but never had anyone take me up on it.

Parents aren't any different than any other group of adults. Just because you have a kid it doesn't mean you are safe to be around my kids. It doesn't mean you have the ability to assess my ability to care for them. I won't trust your newbie parent perceptions with my business. Your concern is how I care for your kid. The others are none of your business.

[MunchkinWrangler]

But why?

Why don't you want your clients to know what other kids their child is playing with all day?

It is privacy. That is all that really needs to be said. Unless there is a social function that the center or daycare is throwing, there is really no reason for other parents to see the other children.

My environment is different and really open, everyone sees everyone. All it has ever invited is for the "nosy" parents to ask questions about the other children, which in my opinion, is inappropriate. I have never had the parents really want anything to do with each other or do play dates at all. One family I have a closer relationship with because our children are the same age, so we do invite each other to stuff.

[Meeko]

But why?

Why don't you want your clients to know what other kids their child is playing with all day?

I used to allow parents to come and hang out in the playroom. I figured they could meet their children's friends etc. All sweet and fun right???

Until one Dad used to come and visit a lot. While here, he was chatty and friendly and seemed like a really nice guy. The kids sat on his lap and played with him. I was right there.

Then I checked........he was a prior convicted child rapist. He had done time in another state and got out on "good behavior" Omitted to tell his new wife about his past. Somehow managed to keep it from her he was on the sex offenders list.

He was coming over on a regular basis to get his jollies with the kids in my care. We found out later he was abusing his own daughter. Just because he wasn't creepy and wearing a dirty raincoat, didn't mean he wasn't a monster. He appeared to be a respectable businessman in a suit.

He is back in prison now.

My daycare parents never blamed me for letting this creep around their children, but I vowed it would NEVER happen again.

Parents must have access to THEIR child during the day (nobody else's) and have a right to see where their child plays. I show all parents every inch of the space we use for daycare during interview. If they ever wanted to see it again during daycare hours, I would remove all the other children before they were allowed access.

I learned the hard way that you can NEVER be too cautious about who has access to the kids. It's our job to keep them safe. A daycare is a wonderful buffet for a pedophile.

My daycare parents LOVE the idea that their kids are not on display or hanging out with an untold number of adults they do not know.

[Meeko]

Because it doesn't matter. The relationship is with me. Trust me that I will provide sweet, kind, respectful, obedient, loving children.

I think it's fair to ask how many children and the breakdown of their ages. Other than that... the indicator of compliance in numbers... it doesn't matter if the kids are Joey.. age two... Susie age four... Johnny age six months...

Kids come and go... they don't have a thing to do with how your kid is being cared for. They will have a time together and then move on with their lives. I've never had a kid in 21 years that ended up going to the same school after they left daycare. I've had a small handful who kept in touch via Facebook after they aged out. Before Facebook they had no contact at all.

I do believe parents have the right to count kids at any time. If a parent wanted to pop in unannounced and count kids and then leave, I wouldn't object. As long as they took their kid with them when they left and just stayed the minute or two it would take to count.

I've always offered that but never had anyone take me up on it.

Parents aren't any different than any other group of adults. Just because you have a kid it doesn't mean you are safe to be around my kids. It doesn't mean you have the ability to assess my ability to care for them. I won't trust your newbie parent perceptions with my business. Your concern is how I care for your kid. The others are none of your business.

[Meeko]

As a parent, I can not understand this. Why wouldn't a provider not allow a parent to see the play area? I would assume they have something to hide.

But I DO have something to hide!!

I want to hide the fact that little John (and several others) has his bare behind in the air during a diaper change.

I want to hide the fact that Sue has a lisp she's self conscious about and doesn't need an adult making snide comments about it.

I want to hide the fact that James is telling me about his parents having a big fight last night and how it scared him. He's not going to confide in me with a stranger in the room.

I want to hide the fact that Sara needs the bathroom a lot and is shy about it.

Nobody needs to see and hear these things. These kids are not zoo animals on display and are entitled to some privacy and to feel secure.