How Many Have You Termed and Why?

[DaveA]

I've termed a few times ( drawing a blank on the actual number). It almost always has been because of parental issues: nonpayment, policy violations, general stupidity. Even the 1 child I termed for behavior ( threw a bucket of blocks at a kid's head & would cuss out anyone when mad), a big source of the trouble was the nitwit parents.

[permanentvacation]

I've termed a lot of families since I moved to the area I'm in. The typical reasons are...

The family couldn't pay me correctly (either tried to give me partial payment or no payment at all and asked me to wait until the following week to be paid)

The 2 or 3 year old child ( a good 5 or more kids from different families) seemed to believe they were allowed to tell me "F*ck you!" when I told them to do something that they didn't want to do. When I told their parents the words they were saying, the parent acted like that was perfectly acceptable and normal!

A couple of kids that completely lost their minds when they didn't get exactly what they wanted when they wanted it and threw such extreme temper tantrums, throwing things, kicking the floor, kicking the walls, screaming, etc. that the neighbor actually knocked on my door to see if everything was alright!! (They were extremely spoiled/entitled children!)

Before I moved to this area, I only remember terminating 2 families over about 18 years. The one didn't even make it through the interview. The child went around hitting everyone in my daycare and then punched me in my stomach. I was about 8 months pregnant! The child was old enough to know that I 'had a baby in my belly'. And neither the mom nor the dad ever corrected the child or said one word to their child, the other children (didn't apologize to the kids their child hit), nor me regarding their child hitting us. The other was when a very young mother cussed me out because I called her to pick her child up after she threw up. Then that mom called me that night and had me on the phone for over an hour reaming me about her child having to be picked up that day.

[KiwiKids]

Two come to mind... There's been times I've chosen to run a smaller group due to my own circumstances, but overall the two that felt like official terminations.

1- school age child who was too wild and didn't listen. There were some very big family problems going on at home as a well and I felt badly for the child but the behavior was a safety issue.

2nd- a toddler who wouldn't nap, spent months crying anytime they weren't being held, things boiled over into aggression because they simply weren't cut out for group care. Co-slept at home, held and hardly ever put down as an infant and had a parent within arms reach at all times... Mom would watch child be aggressive and yell at other kids and make no effort to correct the behavior. She was so focused on her child never crying that nothing else mattered. After many discussions on what was expected and I actually managed to get DCK in line, I still gave notice because it was all my effort and I knew it would be a constant work in progress because DCM didn't want to change anything. She felt she was doing the best for her child, that's her child and her right. I'm by no means anti-attachment parenting and used many AP ideas with my own kids but in this case the lack of constant physical attachment to an adult caregiver created huge anxiety for the child. Perfect example of why no one book can tell you the best way to parent or care for every child. I can honestly say I will never put myself in that situation again. I cared very much for the child. It was so much stress to watch dck struggle with anxiety and be so unhappy when by nature dck was a very happy kid. Group care was just NOT the right choice.

[Annalee]

If I recall correctly, over the past 24 years, I have termed 4 times..... one because infant was not a good fit (cried continuously), one because the child was breastfed and after 3 months still would not take a bottle, one because of extreme bad behavior from 2 year old and parents refused to work with me on this, one because 4 yr old had meltdowns kicking walls and parent didn't understand I didn't want her to harm herself or others...... I think that's all I have termed I am not a term-happy provider but I want parents to work with me.....

[Indoorvoice]

I have been open for 3 years and have termed 4 families. One for late pickups and not showing up on scheduled days without notice. One was a family friend and the child was very difficult and started lying to his parents saying I spanked him. One because I just didn't click with the child. And one was another family friend who didn't think they needed to follow policies.

[Second Home]

In my 13 years of being a provider I have termed twice . Both times was for a child who was aggressive and purposefully hurting / trying to hurt other children .

[Miss A]

I have termed one outright, during his first week with me. He was 4, was not potty trained, would scream all day long and be violent towards me or other children when we approached him, or even walked by him. The worst was when I served him lunch and he attempted to stab me with his fork. He was not welcome back after that incident. His parents said he was just too "spirited" and I did not know how to handle an active child.

Then this spring I informed a family who was struggling with deciding to send their child to preschool that their child would no longer fit into my program this fall. She was my last 3 year old in care, as I have all infant enrollment now, and am expecting my own next month. DCM agreed, and we both cried as I have had the 3 year old since she was 6 weeks old. She is still my sweet girl, and DCM and I are still friends, but it is so nice to not work with friends anymore!

[lovemydaycare0912]

I termed 1 child so far. Well 2 if you count the kid that never showed up his first week . the 1 I did term was because of the parents. I loved dcb so much, he was 2.5 and I knew him since he was 6 months. I just couldn't do it with them always wanting to try to run my business and make things work in their favor. The last straw was when she claimed I was depriving her child of a meal when she would come after breakfast time was over. I cried out of frustration and refused to let a dip make me feel like that. I termed her a week later (wish it was sooner) and got a complaint from the state 2 months later. Idc though, it was so worth it. I have never worked a minute past my closing since they left. I sure do hope they found a good place for him but I couldn't do it anymore. I think I complained about her 3 times on here.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

My immediate thought was SO MANY. I have termed SO MANY! I am licensed for 12.

I do a poor job of weeding out the bad fits in the interviews. I am just not really able to do so unless there are bright red flags waving all over the place. I am sure I am forgetting some but I will try to recall them.

1. Little girl, age 3. Family wasn't a good fit from the beginning. Mom went on vacation, didn't pay me, and then told me she would only pay me starting the next week since her daughter didn't attend the week before. I packed up their belongings and they weren't invited back. This was during my first few months open so I was horrified and she badmouthed me for YEARS. The entire community came to dislike her and her family had to move due to this.

2. Family with 2 girls (4 and 2). Family wasn't a good fit from the beginning and lied about illness constantly. "Too much watermelon is why she threw up...too much granola...too much candy...etc." Finally, I had enough between that and all the other issues and I terminated them. They were here about 9 months.

3. Family with 2 kids (boy-4 girl-2). I put the boy on a behavior plan due to extremely aggressive tendencies that I couldn't rein in after 9 months. It got worse and so I suspended him. The Dad became aggressive, blamed me for his child's issues, threatened to sue, etc. so I terminated. I was in a high risk pregnancy at the time so I also told them to never contact me again. That little boy still makes me shiver as he was out of control.

4. Little boy (4). Mom told me he was aggressive towards adults, which I could handle due to knowing he had special needs. She didn't tell me he was highly aggressive towards children. After he tried smashing a child's head with a block repeatedly I terminated. He was here 1 day.

5. Little boy (5). Aggressive and wouldn't stop spanking other children so I had the Mom switch out the little boy for her younger girl. They are still enrolled today and I have their third child.

6. Little boy (3). Wasn't a good fit from the beginning. He purposely irritated the other children, was aggressive, and then bit two children in one day (third day here). I terminated immediately. I am still in contact with the Mom and she opted not to enroll him elsewhere.

7. Little girl (2). Needed one on one care in order to stay safe and I couldn't provide it.

8. Little girl (4). Family wasn't a good fit from the beginning but I thought it'd be fine since they were my friend's best friend. She only paid me half upfront and TOLD me she wouldn't be paying me the rest until later that week. I was a newbie and shocked. The little girl was rude and wouldn't listen. Terminated because they were difficult to work with after a month or two. It was causing me a lot of stress to be bossed around by the Mom.

9. Little girl (3). Wasn't a good fit from the beginning. The little girl just didn't mesh well with me...and I had learned that I could either cope with it or just end the business relationship immediately so after a behavior plan and no improvement I terminated.

10. Little girl (4, almost 5). Escalating sexual behavior that was not appropriate to subject other children to. Child didn't listen either and was manipulative.

4 years in and I've terminated the contracts for 10 families. I don't regret terminating any of them and many I wish I would have just said it wasn't a good fit from the VERY beginning (2-4 weeks in). It causes me a lot of stress and anxiety when I try to make it work with a family or child that doesn't respect me and isn't improving.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Also, I live in a SMALL community. Very small and everyone gossips. I am still not known as the lady who terminates. :hug: Enduring a BAD business relationship can kill your enjoyment of the job. I hope you're able to let them go soon.

[Leigh]

Also, I live in a SMALL community. Very small and everyone gossips. I am still not known as the lady who terminates. :hug: Enduring a BAD business relationship can kill your enjoyment of the job. I hope you're able to let them go soon.

I totally understand you NOT being known as the lady who terms. The childcares with the most strict rules, the most detailed policies, and the ones who take the most time off (a LOT of time off...like 8-12 weeks a year-those are the ones here that have the best reputations and the ones parents fight to get into.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I totally understand you NOT being known as the lady who terms. The childcares with the most strict rules, the most detailed policies, and the ones who take the most time off (a LOT of time off...like 8-12 weeks a year-those are the ones here that have the best reputations and the ones parents fight to get into.

:: That's me. I don't work 5 days per week and I also am closed for a total of about 3-4 weeks each year.

[Unregistered]

Two.

One because child couldn't adjust to group care. He had behavioral problems and cognitive disabilities that mom refused to address.

And the other because the parents were just odd. I only ever saw dad and he was flaky as heck. They showed up an hour late TWICE despite the massive late fees. And then I termed.

[Boymom]

Wow, I just read through all of the posts and there are some crazy kids and parents out there!! :: ::

I'm trying to figure out if I'm just becoming impatient or if these siblings are that bad! When they aren't here, everyone seems to get along really well, but when they are here, it's like a full moon EVERY day. Every. Single. Day.

Buuut, DH got home early today and he hung out with all of us for a little bit. He left after 5 minutes!!! He told me he has no clue how I do this every day!

[AmyKidsCo]

0.

I'd rather tough it out because I hate filling openings with a passion, hate conflicts, and am always worried about losing income.

That's not to say I've never happy danced when I've gotten a term notice from certain parents. ::