Oh So Close

[Sunchimes]

I almost had the perfect set-up. I had an opening being held for a sibling, due to start in Jan. Some old friends asked me to keep their new grandson. They were fine with the limited time frame, they just wanted someone they trusted for his first daycare, until they all adjusted to the idea. It is working out great, he is here 4 days scattered over 2 weeks.

Then another friend, actually one of my students when she was in grade school, has a new grandbaby. (I know!!! Time flies). She is several months old, but has never been left. Mom is going back to work, and wanted someone they trusted. To my shock, they were willing to take the days left over from the part timer!! What are the odds?

Unfortunately, father stomped in last night, prowled around questioning things. He would ask a question then clench his jaw when I answered. He wanted to know how often children got hurt-not seriously, but ever. How often do my kids bite each other? How often did kids have to go to the doctor from injuries? He doesn't want me to transport, he doesn't want to pay when she isn't here, he doesn't like that I let "strangers" in the house. Those strangers are the ECI therapists!

I didn't like the vibe at all. I lnow that the first time his darling gets a bump he will call CPS. I hustled them out. As he left, we paused to introduce tjem to my husband. Dad just walked out the door with no acknowledgement.

Mom also changed where she worked between phone call and interview. If I had known she was in a nursing home I wouldn't have bothered with an interview.

I called mom this morning to tell them they weren't a fit. They need a more rigid situation, not one that treats the kids like family. Mom cried. I told her I would send the DFPS link and show her how to research each provider. She told me not to bother, because I was the only one she trusted, she would just quit her job.

So, tiny bit of guilt but large thank yous to you guys for all of the red lights you have pointed out over the yeats.

[spedmommy4]

Wow! Good call. That would have done it for me too. I ignored the early warning signs with a parent like that and she went off the deep end the first time I enforced a policy.

In that situation, I might have indicated to mom that it seemed like dad isn't comfortable with a home based setting. If my husband/SO/kids dad was getting our kiddo kicked out of daycare, I would want to know so I could have a sit down talk about what to do. That's just me though . . .

[Sunchimes]

I got the distinct impression he didn't want her to work at all.

[MissAnn]

I have a child here whose parents first question was if I had liability insurance. What??? I enrolled her because I needed to fill the spot and they are amongst my favorites....ever! Not telling YOU to do though.....too many red flags in your situation!!!!

[spedmommy4]

I got the distinct impression he didn't want her to work at all.

It's too bad they didn't have that discussion ahead of time. Parents not communicating= awkward situations for providers.

[Mike]

I got the distinct impression he didn't want her to work at all.

I was thinking that when I read the first post. Sounds to me like he's going to be very picky just so she has to stay home.

[Alwaysgreener]

Mom also changed where she worked between phone call and interview. If I had known she was in a nursing home I wouldn't have bothered with an interview.

Why would you not interview a family that works at a nursing home?

[Sunchimes]

Around here, the nursing homes are really hard on their employees. They aren't allowed calls and won't take messages. They change schedules on minutes notice, if a mom's replacement is late or doesn't show up, Mom has to work until someone shows up. They don't make enough for late fees. I have (now, but didn't then) policies in place, but it's still a pain to track down pick-up subs gor those times. If I really needed the money, I would consider it, but I've worked too hard to reach a place where I don't have to put up with the hassle. It's nothing against the moms, they are doing the best they can. I just don't have to be involved.

[CalCare]

My sister worked in a nursing home. All of that was true - and more. It was a terrible place to work. She was also super emotionally fragile almost all the time because of everything she experienced there. The clients dying, the clients having no caring families, the long hours with no breaks and having to cover shifts when people would just stop working or not show up because it ****s. She cared about the people, so she couldn't deal. Oh and the physical demand- heavy lifting to move clients and do their care needs. Well, I'm sure there are really good nursing homes out there. But my sister's wasn't one. :/

[Alwaysgreener]

Around here, the nursing homes are really hard on their employees. They aren't allowed calls and won't take messages. They change schedules on minutes notice, if a mom's replacement is late or doesn't show up, Mom has to work until someone shows up. They don't make enough for late fees. I have (now, but didn't then) policies in place, but it's still a pain to track down pick-up subs gor those times. If I really needed the money, I would consider it, but I've worked too hard to reach a place where I don't have to put up with the hassle. It's nothing against the moms, they are doing the best they can. I just don't have to be involved.

Good to know, I just happen to have an interview with a family that works at a nursing home. I think she had called before and told me that she needed care before I opened. I told her to call back if she could find someone willing to drop off for her. Well she did, which I did not expect, so we are interviewing.
What policies do you have in place?