Help Me Be a Good Daycare Parent!

[happymom]

"Come on out of the car"
"I want to go out a different door"
"Nope, this is the door that I have opened for you"
*climbs over and into the front seat* "I want YOUR door"


"Put your shoes on"
*doesn't acknowledge that I've asked him*
"come on, bud, it's time to put your shoes on"
"after I finish...."
"no, it's time to put your shoes on"
"well, if I put my shoes on can I get a snack?"

Just every day things, he doesn't listen.

[happymom]

These are at home examples by the way. I know at daycare he delays nap time (sometimes by nearly an hour).

[CalCare]

Hi again! Your examples sound like totally normal testing, and exploring autonomy. The teacher should not have a difficult time with that at all. I mean it really should be easy and automatic for her to respond to situations like that and she should know it's developmentally appropriate and completely expected! It's very strange that she is complaining about him not listening. It's like a kindergarten teacher complaining the student doesn't know division. This is what he is learning- to contribute to the social group, to cooperate, and also be is developing independence and autonomy so he will want to make his own decisions. As his adults, we would do best do let him make as many decisions for himself as we can (which door do you want to climb out). In addition to learning social expectations AND developing his own autonomy, he will test limits because that is what children (and teens) do to find out the boundries. Set firm boundaries (the teacher should know how and shouldn't have any problem doing this and should expect to do this all day, everyday). Firm boundaries are best placed on safety (keep people, things and self safe- emotionally and physically as Black Cat mentioned recently in a nearby post!). So, the shoes example: "time for shoes" "no." which shoes do you want to wear, these or these" "none" (now you decide if shoes are a must for this outing yes or no, if yes for safety then you must intervene, if no then let it go) "well, you have to wear shoes because the gravel will cut your feet. I take care of you and I won't let you cut your feet on the gravel. So, you can pick a pair of shoes or I can pick a pair and put them on you. What do you choose?" etc etc!
This is a short article (as well as useful information from the author in the comments section) on testing, autonomy, choices, testing and saying "NO".

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/07/what-to-do-when-toddlers-say-no/

In a play based program, he would have free choice to explore, create and develop and would not need to be forced to do any crafts, worksheets, etc and would therefore not have demands of "listening" to directions for no real purpose. Truly, again I ask what is the purpose of his attendance in that program? Enrichment, that isn't enriching. And play based programs have more than 40 min stretches of free play. I'm trying to tell you, the problem here is not your child! If you look at ONE just one play based program, I bet you'll love it.

[happymom]

My husband and I work full time M-F.

I have two children in daycare from 8:30 to 5:15, 5 days a week.

Honestly I think he benefits from the structured program. All of these links you have provided are talking about little 2 year old children. We definitely use choices and consequences and are consistent. His biggest trouble is sleeping (going to bed and taking a nap), he can lay for hours before falling asleep and this is where he generally is "not listening" at school. Not wanting to take a nap, not being still and quiet, etc.

We have talked a lot on how to be the teachers helper and how he can always help by doing what is asked of him. He is very bright, argumentative and always pushing limits

[CalCare]

Well, sounds like you are happy with the outcome. That's good!