Typical or Not Typical Behavior?

[hgonzalez]

I have a newly enrolled 15 mo old. He walks well and eats table food.
ANYTIME he is walking around, he is either throwing toys, hitting other kids on the head or grabbing stuff out of their hands. He rarely shows any interest in 'playing' with toys. Everytime I pick him up, he screams and get aggressive (trying to bite, pinch, scratch me). Diaper changes are like mini exorcisms.
During meal times, he screams almost the entire time. I will give him his food, he appears to like it and then he starts screaming and throwing it on the floor. If I give him milk, he sill start drinking it, then scream.
I checked his mouth, I see no teeth coming in.
I finally put up a pack n play for him to play in, so he doesn't hurt the other kids. I put a variety of toys in it with him to try to get him to play with them. All he does is hurl them out at the other kids.
He literally screamed for three hours straight this morning. Breakfast, nap and outside time were all spent screaming.
I have talked to Mom and she says 'that's just his personality'.
My other toddler does not act like this. I needs suggestions to try to work with this kid. He has a sibling here as well, so it is not so easy to just term for financial reasons, although I may have to.
'Tearing my hair out!'

[Thriftylady]

It doesn't seem normal for the age, but it depends. Has he been in care before? Does he do this at home? So many factors. I may ask parents to get a medical eval, but at that age it may not do much good. At the end of the day it could just be not a good fit. So hard to say.

[daycarediva]

Tough age. Is he tired? Does he take two naps? Does he actually eat well or not?

I don't agree that mean is just a child's personality- it sounds like they allow this behavior at home. How does he behave at pick up and drop off for the parents?

I would start interviewing- because I would not put up with that for long, especially without the parents on board to resolve it.

[Mom2Two]

Sounds awful. It is a tough age, but it could either be "normal really obnoxious kid" or "not normal." But either way, I know a child like that would be on my last nerve very quickly.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Tough age. Is he tired? Does he take two naps? Does he actually eat well or not?

I don't agree that mean is just a child's personality- it sounds like they allow this behavior at home. How does he behave at pick up and drop off for the parents?

I would start interviewing- because I would not put up with that for long, especially without the parents on board to resolve it.

I agree. I absolutely think it's behavior that is not being corrected.

I have had parents who blanch at the word no. Offering if we can use something else. Yada, yada, yada. Although, I do believe hearing it too much can make children block it out, I think it's very important for an infant to hear no and to learn what it means. Safety is a concern and I believe it's important for children to listen to this concept.

I also have seen a trend in parents letting their children behave in bad ways because they think its normal behavior when it is actually the opposite and should be corrected. It's the no cry method for sure.

[daycarediva]

I agree. I absolutely think it's behavior that is not being corrected.

I have had parents who blanch at the word no. Offering if we can use something else. Yada, yada, yada. Although, I do believe hearing it too much can make children block it out, I think it's very important for an infant to hear no and to learn what it means. Safety is a concern and I believe it's important for children to listen to this concept.

I also have seen a trend in parents letting their children behave in bad ways because they think its normal behavior when it is actually the opposite and should be corrected. It's the no cry method for sure.

I tell parents that the dislike for the word NO and wanting to use something else is a little silly. NO is quick and easy for even young children to understand. I always add that NO can be followed up with firm, yet kind reasons and choices.

"NO. We do not hit. It's ok to be angry, but I will not allow you to hurt someone. You can ________" That explanation usually helps parents, simply because they have no idea how to discipline in a positive way.

[spedmommy4]

I tell parents that the dislike for the word NO and wanting to use something else is a little silly. NO is quick and easy for even young children to understand. I always add that NO can be followed up with firm, yet kind reasons and choices.

"NO. We do not hit. It's ok to be angry, but I will not allow you to hurt someone. You can ________" That explanation usually helps parents, simply because they have no idea how to discipline in a positive way.

Honestly, over the last 6 years in the field, I have encountered a ton of "we just want our kids to like us" parents. It seems like many parents believe that saying "no" means to your child means your child won't like/love you. When I initially get these kids, any denial of what the child wants results in over the top behavior. Unfortunately, it takes time and consistency to end it in the childcare setting.

When the parent isn't on board, it can be hard to distinguish behavior from atypical. Unfortunately, it also tends to be hard to resolve the behavior.

[hgonzalez]

Well, there has been a slight improvement, but this kid pretty much disrupts everything we do. He screams at mealtimes. I started sitting next to him and waiting for him to stop, then giving him his food, a little at a time. If her screams, I stop. If he flings it in anger, he is done with his meal.
The throwing of toys is completely out of control. I am afraid he will hurt someone. I have two kids here that are younger than him, and I just can't take a chance on either one getting hurt.
The other weird thing is that he is non stop slobbering. I bought a bunch of cloth, over the head bibs to use for him, thinking I would use one a day. He SOAKED one within the first hour just walking around.
I have decided to keep trying but also interview other families in the meantime. If I find a better fit, I am taking it. I have to stop feeling guilty about decisions I am making regarding terming families.

[daycarediva]

Honestly, over the last 6 years in the field, I have encountered a ton of "we just want our kids to like us" parents. It seems like many parents believe that saying "no" means to your child means your child won't like/love you. When I initially get these kids, any denial of what the child wants results in over the top behavior. Unfortunately, it takes time and consistency to end it in the childcare setting.

When the parent isn't on board, it can be hard to distinguish behavior from atypical. Unfortunately, it also tends to be hard to resolve the behavior.

Oh goodness, yes! The parents I have that do this have major guilt about not spending more time with their child (working ft) but then on weekends they need 'me' time, and in the limited time that they do see their child they don't want to be in a battle of wills, so they do whatever they can to be their child's friend. So frustrating and near impossible to change!