My Own Child Failed The Two Week Trial Period :'(

[spedmommy4]

I can't afford to have a nanny nor can I afford to hire extra help. I live in military housing and we are only allowed to keep 3 kids max no matter what our license says (license allows up to 8) and being in CA they have crazy strict laws about hiring employees...if anyone you hire makes more than $100 a month you have to provide employee benefits etc. it's insane. I'm just going to offer part time care only and hourly care.

In California, benefits aren't required for employees unless you have more than 50 employees. The new laws for sick leave wouldn't be a factor for you either since the employee wouldn't work enough hours to earn any. I had 2 employees. I used execupay and they handled my employee taxes.

My employees cost me their hourly wage plus about about $1 extra an hour in employee taxes. The downside of having even "temporary" or "substitute" employees is that you have to still have to have workman's comp. (cost is $600-$1000 annually on average)

If you have any trouble finding part-timers, it may be something worrty looking into.

[Nisaryn]

In California, benefits aren't required for employees unless you have more than 50 employees. The new laws for sick leave wouldn't be a factor for you either since the employee wouldn't work enough hours to earn any. I had 2 employees. I used execupay and they handled my employee taxes.

My employees cost me their hourly wage plus about about $1 extra an hour in employee taxes. The downside of having even "temporary" or "substitute" employees is that you have to still have to have workman's comp. (cost is $600-$1000 annually on average)

If you have any trouble finding part-timers, it may be something worrty looking into.

Ah, that's probably were I got confused. The workman's comp stuff! It's just too hard for me to figure out. What I've decided might be best is to see about offering non-traditional hours...like during deployments I could offer weekend care/over night, I also thought I could offer early morning care so that I could open earlier/close earlier but still get in those full time hours for my rate. So I was looking at opening from 4am to 2pm that way I could leave out to appointments by 2:30 and get there on time...assuming the parents are there on time LOL. It just means I'll be going to bed with the baby at 7pm instead of staying up LOL! But that would probably be healthier for my anyway!

[Josiegirl]

Hmmm, he's done fine at other places but not this particular place? I don't think your son failed anything; I have a feeling it was more like the dcprovider failed him and she didn't give it enough effort. Dynamics are different everywhere, personalities and temperaments clash certainly. But after she said all she did about working with challenging behaviors before, either these through her for a major loop or she was bs'ing to get you in the door.

[pandamom]

Have you thought about trying to get your son a regular spot at the CDc? I'm working at my third CDC (due to PCS's) and my twins have attended CDC's and are at the youth center now. One has mild autism and both programs have gone above and beyond. You can have speech pathologists and occupational therapists do sessions at the center. There are MFLAC's (don't remember what the acronym stands for) that are therapists that are available to caregivers, children and parents, training and curriculum specialists and the other support offices on base that are available for the center. i know he would have been kicked out of most civilian centers because of all the work needed to get him comfortable in his surroundings.

But you have the right idea on working non traditional hours for a FCC. Does your base have personnel that work shifts? I know that every base is basically begging for FCC providers that are willing to do overnights to help support shift workers.

[daycarediva]

Do you have a special needs preschool in your area? When my (high functioning) autistic son got to be too much for my in home provider, I enrolled him in a special needs preschool. He couldn't tolerate full weeks, so I ended up working evenings and he attended there T/TH so that I could take dd to dialysis.

[Controlled Chaos]

Yes we are currently utilizing our local options but since we are military and live in military housing we have to get special approvals for in-home visits etc. they have to make sure any providers are approved for at least part of the Tricare insurance and have access to base facilities etc. the approval process can take a very long time and it is not um-common to be denied the in-home visits unless you have significant needs. We are going to look into it though.

:hug: My friend is military with a 6yo high needs/ low functioning autistic son. Watching her go through the process to get all his services approved and paid for you rough. It took time and tenacity but once the paperwork and wait lists were done with - he is receiving great care. Hope your son's needed services are mad available to you as soon as possible. I'm sorry you are going through this. lovethis

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.

[childcaremom]

I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.

I agree and have a 4 week period.

ETA: I think you have gotten some great suggestions but I just wanted to chime in and suggest that it sounds like it wasn't a good fit. For either party. Are there other places you can check out?

[Blackcat31]

I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.

I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.

[childcaremom]

I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.

Me, too.

[Nisaryn]

Hmmm, he's done fine at other places but not this particular place? I don't think your son failed anything; I have a feeling it was more like the dcprovider failed him and she didn't give it enough effort. Dynamics are different everywhere, personalities and temperaments clash certainly. But after she said all she did about working with challenging behaviors before, either these through her for a major loop or she was bs'ing to get you in the door.

No sorry, I guess I wasn't clear...he hasn't been anywhere for longer than a few hours here and there for hourly care...otherwise he has ALWAYS been with me so I knew it would be rough on him. As a provider I had worked with children before he moaned and cried and screamed and eventually with some prodding and patience they got through it. Some it would only take the few weeks and others it took longer. So I guess I was just disappointed that she didn't try harder I guess since she knew I used to be a full time provider myself :/

[Nisaryn]

Have you thought about trying to get your son a regular spot at the CDc? I'm working at my third CDC (due to PCS's) and my twins have attended CDC's and are at the youth center now. One has mild autism and both programs have gone above and beyond. You can have speech pathologists and occupational therapists do sessions at the center. There are MFLAC's (don't remember what the acronym stands for) that are therapists that are available to caregivers, children and parents, training and curriculum specialists and the other support offices on base that are available for the center. i know he would have been kicked out of most civilian centers because of all the work needed to get him comfortable in his surroundings.

But you have the right idea on working non traditional hours for a FCC. Does your base have personnel that work shifts? I know that every base is basically begging for FCC providers that are willing to do overnights to help support shift workers.

Yes but the waitlist are all full, we are in San Diego and everyone is on the waitlist basically. I'm not an official military provider, I'm state licensed only so I don't get support through that. I applied to become a CDH (we are Navy) but the background checks take forever and it's been going on 2 YEARS since I put in for my background check and fingerprints and they still haven't gotten back to me....I call, I email...I've even gone to the office several time and still nothing. They just keep telling me "we will call when we hear something"....so I've pretty much given up on that idea.

[Blackcat31]

No sorry, I guess I wasn't clear...he hasn't been anywhere for longer than a few hours here and there for hourly care...otherwise he has ALWAYS been with me so I knew it would be rough on him. As a provider I had worked with children before he moaned and cried and screamed and eventually with some prodding and patience they got through it. Some it would only take the few weeks and others it took longer. So I guess I was just disappointed that she didn't try harder I guess since she knew I used to be a full time provider myself :/

I'm stuck on this (bolded) as you've said that more than once now...

Did you know the trial period was two weeks? If so, WHY do you feel she should have tried longer or stuck it out longer? If she said her trial period was 2 weeks and you agreed, then that's exactly what happened.

If you felt your child would need longer to adjust, that's something I would have discussed with her immediately upon addressing a trial period and again as the trial period had progressed as your child was not getting better or improving at all.

Did she at any time make it sound like he was getting better?

It sounds like based on the time line you posted...he showed signs of getting worse, not better.

I understand that you, as a previous provider have a unique perspective but at the same time like any other parent...this is not the providers fault. She provided what she agreed to provide. A 2 week trial period. Your child did not adjust so she decided not to enroll. I see nothing wrong with that.

I do, however feel badly for you and understand as a parent. (I am a child care provider because my own child never adjusted to any program.)

I do hope you are able to figure out work/care solutions that work in the best interest of your family.

[daycarediva]

I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.

My youngest was enrolled part time elsewhere to get used to being away from me. I did that intentionally because as a provider, I KNEW what I was setting him up for when he finally did have to go to school.

[Crystal]

Nisaryn,

Are you in San Diego or San Diego County? If it is the county, can you tell me what city? I may be able to locate a full-day California State Preschool Program in your area for you. Of course, you would have to see if you qualify based on income and family size (you might be surprised how much you can earn and still qualify). I am actually in San Diego right now as I conducted training for new state preschool programs and visited sites this week for reviews, and have visited some amazing sites! Might be one close to you