Fear of the Wind

[Josiegirl]

When she exhibits fear, what do the other dcks do? Do they pretty much ignore it or focus on it? It's easy enough to ignore/redirect if it's just you but how do you cope with a fear like what the OP is dealing with, when all the other dcks are reacting to it, whether displaying fear themselves or trying to help(and coddle) the dck?

[Blackcat31]

When she exhibits fear, what do the other dcks do? Do they pretty much ignore it or focus on it? It's easy enough to ignore/redirect if it's just you but how do you cope with a fear like what the OP is dealing with, when all the other dcks are reacting to it, whether displaying fear themselves or trying to help(and coddle) the dck?

My other kids usually look to me as a gauge on how to respond.

You know, kind of like when the toddling new walker falls down and instantaneously looks to you to see what your reaction is.
If you go and say anything, they cry.
If you don't make a big fuss about it, they get up and keep toddling along.

[Josiegirl]

My other kids usually look to me as a gauge on how to respond.

You know, kind of like when the toddling new walker falls down and instantaneously looks to you to see what your reaction is.
If you go and say anything, they cry.
If you don't make a big fuss about it, they get up and keep toddling along.

Yeh but I'm talking dramatic SA kids. Three of my 4 older dcks are so over-the-top drama queens. And they have seen her cry because of thunder before so are quick to jump in and help her, soothe her, convince her she's going to be okay, and on and on so are basically validating her fears. Guess it's been on my mind lately because we've had lots of storms move through.

[Blackcat31]

Yeh but I'm talking dramatic SA kids. Three of my 4 older dcks are so over-the-top drama queens. And they have seen her cry because of thunder before so are quick to jump in and help her, soothe her, convince her she's going to be okay, and on and on so are basically validating her fears. Guess it's been on my mind lately because we've had lots of storms move through.

I have a similar issue with older siblings of DCK's I have. The older siblings simply don't back off and let the younger sibling figure it out.

I try hard to constantly remind them that in order for little bro or little sis to figure things out and build the confidence they need to manage their fears that the older kids need to butt out.

It IS hard but after hearing it a ton of times, most back off willingly.