Are You Kidding Me!!!! Taken Advantage of!

[Countrybuttercup]

I have a client who has been non-stop frustrating! I have had her son since he was 6 mths old and he is now going off to school this fall. During this time the mom went on maternity leave for another child and took her son out for...not the typical year....but a year and a half!!! When her son came back, he had regressed so much that his speech is so difficult to understand! He speaks like a one year old and improper grammar. Now her other son is attending and also is popped a soother in his mouth and also prevents him for speaking properly. This child who will be going to school still walks in with his soother as well!! I've expressed my concern to no avail. But it doesn't end there....this client always seems to stiff me with leaving for the entire summer! Leaving me without a client or pay for the summer. Again, I asked in Jan. if she would be taking the summer off so that I can find a replacement...she said no. Guess what? She pulled her children out for the summer! Because I love the child, I agreed to offer no pay during the weeks the children are not at daycare...which by the way goes against my contract and what my other clients abide by. And now she comes back saying, she found family to care for them all summer but will be back in Sept!!!! Are you kidding me!!! I'm going against my contract because of my love for her child and then she is taking advantage of me!!!! Not cool!!!
I needed to vent to other providers. Thanks guys in advance.

[Blackcat31]

I have a client who has been non-stop frustrating! I have had her son since he was 6 mths old and he is now going off to school this fall. During this time the mom went on maternity leave for another child and took her son out for...not the typical year....but a year and a half!!! When her son came back, he had regressed so much that his speech is so difficult to understand! He speaks like a one year old and improper grammar. Now her other son is attending and also is popped a soother in his mouth and also prevents him for speaking properly. This child who will be going to school still walks in with his soother as well!! I've expressed my concern to no avail. But it doesn't end there....this client always seems to stiff me with leaving for the entire summer! Leaving me without a client or pay for the summer. Again, I asked in Jan. if she would be taking the summer off so that I can find a replacement...she said no. Guess what? She pulled her children out for the summer! Because I love the child, I agreed to offer no pay during the weeks the children are not at daycare...which by the way goes against my contract and what my other clients abide by. And now she comes back saying, she found family to care for them all summer but will be back in Sept!!!! Are you kidding me!!! I'm going against my contract because of my love for her child and then she is taking advantage of me!!!! Not cool!!!
I needed to vent to other providers. Thanks guys in advance.

Welcome to the forum!!

I am sorry you feel she is taking advantage. It ****s when you feel you've gone out of your way to help a family and they don't appreciate or recognize it.

Not to burst your bubble or give advice you don't want to hear but you are being taken advantage of because YOU are allowing it. The DCM probably sees nothing wrong with what she's doing because its accepted by you. She can't really be faulted for that.

You can love her child enough to continue allowing it or you can love your self-respect even more and stop allowing it.

[Cat Herder]

I agreed to offer no pay during the weeks the children are not at daycare +

she found family to care for them all summer but will be back in Sept =

she is taking advantage of me

The math does not work out.

You are not following your policies, she is since you amended them for her.

She is doing what she feels is best for her family.

:hug: You have to change your mindset and do what is best for yours.

[Unregistered]

Lots of options. You can let her know now that you require more consistent clients and income. Give her option of returning to care with full payment year round, effective two weeks from now. Or advertise and fill her spot ASAP, and 2 weeks before school starts give her notice of termination of care. Plus lots of options in between.

She is doing what works best for family. You need to do what is best for your family.

[thrivingchildcarecom]

I totally agree! The first thing we need to realize is that WE providers have to allow ourselves to be taken advantage of before anyone can take advantage of us. How can we expect parents/clients to follow our policies if we break them ourselves. I think our 1st responsibility is to ensure that our businesses are sustainable and what that usually requires is continuous enrollment. In short, if a spot is vacant (even just for the Summer) you are losing money. That hurts the business!

What I would do (and did do in the past) was to send out a policy reminder to my clients, all of them. The reminder was specific to a policy that was already existing or even new that I was going to begin enforcing. THEN ENFORCE IT!

If your client doesn't pay for or attend in the Summer, the spot might not be available in the Fall. She will probably continue to do what she has been doing unless there is a consequence.

The last thing I will say is, I think the light switch moment for me was when I realized that no matter the client, they are only going to be using my business for a limited amount of time. They will move on and I will need to find new clients. The love I have for a child does not mean that I can sacrifice my business, something that I love to do and have sacrificed to build.

[Josiegirl]

Welcome! And heed the wise words of these ladies here. Create new policies soon to cover yourself. And expect to seek out new clients because it doesn't sound like these will appreciate the change of heart from you becoming your own business operator.
The only way I would allow a dcf to leave for the whole summer without paying to hold the spot, and expect to come back in the fall, was if I had summer dcks coming in. And even this year(for the first year ever) I decided I needed to be sure my teachers' kids were coming back so I charged them a nonrefundable holding fee. I instituted that policy after losing about 1600-1800 bucks from holding a dcg's spot for almost 4 months. You know what helped my backbone?? Thinking of all the things I could've done with that money, such as a nice new kitchen floor or new play equipment or helping pay off my dds' college loans. Think about the $$$ from that perspective and it might help your backbone firm up.

[Thriftylady]

Honestly, I agree you have allowed her to take advantage of you. At this point if I were you, I would fill her slots and move on. And I wouldn't break my policies for any other family ever again.

[Controlled Chaos]

Welcome! And heed the wise words of these ladies here. Create new policies soon to cover yourself. And expect to seek out new clients because it doesn't sound like these will appreciate the change of heart from you becoming your own business operator.
The only way I would allow a dcf to leave for the whole summer without paying to hold the spot, and expect to come back in the fall, was if I had summer dcks coming in. And even this year(for the first year ever) I decided I needed to be sure my teachers' kids were coming back so I charged them a nonrefundable holding fee. I instituted that policy after losing about 1600-1800 bucks from holding a dcg's spot for almost 4 months. You know what helped my backbone?? Thinking of all the things I could've done with that money, such as a nice new kitchen floor or new play equipment or helping pay off my dds' college loans. Think about the $$$ from that perspective and it might help your backbone firm up.

Oh good lord - after reading your post I did the math During my first year I held a spot for 7 month for my friends baby (from when she told me she was pregnant - I was already caring for older brother). $4200! We were so poor and living in the crappiest apartment and I gave away $4200!!!!! I'm gonna go cry into my coffee now ::

Yep, live and learn. Don't hold spots for free. EVER. I care about the little munchkins in mare care, but not more than my family. :hug:

[AmyKidsCo]

Hi and welcome!

ITA with everyone else. When push comes to shove, parents will always, always, ALWAYS do what's best for them. No matter how much we love their children, no matter what we've done for them, no matter how much they say they love and appreciate us. They ALWAYS do what's best for them.

Keep a professional distance, uphold your policies, and remember that parents are your clients, not your friends.

[Countrybuttercup]

Your right...I would be the first to give the same advice you just gave me, ...funny how we need others to hold the mirror up. ;-)

[Countrybuttercup]

hmmm...did I say this to someone else not long ago??? It's black and white and you're right. Thanks for the reminder ;-)

[Countrybuttercup]

...harsh but true. Thank you x0x

[Countrybuttercup]

So true!!! And I have always been this way for 10 yrs...I even lost 3 clients all at once because I increased my prices, despite I had given them a year's notice...I stuck to my guns back then and always have...why change now???!! Thank you for the reminder. xoxo

[Countrybuttercup]

I really like that non-refundable holding fee for teachers...or this client for that matter, because this is twice she's done this to me! I will definitely incorporate this into my new policy! Thank you for the great tip!!!

[Countrybuttercup]

Simple and true "Controlled Chaos"! Thank you.
By the way, I'm clicking on "post quick reply" to each of you but I think it just goes in the bottom of my thread as general...???
Learning curve ...agh!!!