What Do I Do About This Neighbor?

[childcaremom]

It has gotten so much worse! Look at the comments that continued while we were out of town visiting family today:

-what is the name of your family day care

-I was wondering if you are considering it regulated or unregulated...state laws and codes are different depending on which it is...

-I do know the difference between a daycare center and a family day care center. It appears that she is attempting to disguise a daycare center as a family day care and set it up in a residential area. This is an issue that we need to bring to zoning and other Chattanooga agencies to make sure this is actually legitimate. I personally do not want the additional traffic this will bring into the neighborhood as a family day care center or a daycare center whichever you may choose to call it. If you review the pictures posted it looks like it is set up totally as a business not as a residence.

-I don't know the [family name] but unless there is a specific traffic issues impacting you personally, let's not overact. I think it is OK if our neighbors want to create a small home business, trying to survive this dismal economy. If the traffic becomes an issue, approach your neighbor, being a good neighbor, and have a discussion about the issue and work with them to solve it. Why would you want to get the government involved.
Daycare is an issue all working families with small children are trying to solve without costing them an arm an leg. If a neighbor, who you trust and know, wants to make some extra money and take care of neighborhood kids for working families, I am in full support. It is a win for everyone, especially the working families and kids.

-My concern is not traffic and yes there are legitimate Inhome facilities. I am by no means a BIG government advocate however I did work for Human Services for 30 years and there are laws regarding day care/family care providers for a good reason. All legitimate providers will have proof of their certification.

-I have asked our council person [name] to look into this

And my response:

Neighbors, I am running a family day care. A family day care has no need for a special permit and is acceptable in zone R1 in the [City]. A family day care has up to 7 children if it is licensed; a regulated but unlicensed family day care has up to 4. I currently have 3 children and am looking to add a fourth. Since my home is 2 blocks from [entry road to neighborhood] and can fit 3 cars in the driveway, I do not believe you will experience any change in the traffic at your own homes.

I am pursuing my license, but the City does not yet have any projected date to kick off their next session for new licenses. I have been in touch with the City licensing office (several times) and am following their instructions.

I am a homeschooling mom. That's why my dining room is set up as a classroom! The carpeted space in the photos is a former carport that the previous homeowner converted into a very large bonus space, which is perfect for the children's playroom.

I'm flattered that you say it looks like a business; I have done a lot of hard work to ensure that my day care kids are in a safe, appropriate environment. Family day care is not a casual babysitting affair; it's my responsibility to provide a stable learning environment for the children of working parents. Since I used to work outside of the home, I know how stressful it is for parents to find reliable, quality care.

Since so much concern has been raised here, I will be contacting the City again tomorrow to double-check that I'm in full compliance with all requirements. I'm happy to be a homeowner in [neighborhood] and intend to be the best neighbor possible.

At this point, I would not be offering any more information to them. Period.

I don't know this website but I would take a screenshot of all the comments, take down the ad (does that remove the comments?), and then put a new one up. Stating somewhere in your new ad that you are operating as a legal family home daycare (or whatever the correct term is for your area).

If it continues, I would do as above suggested and contact a lawyer.

Do you know these people? Are they your direct neighbours? I understand that they have concerns (not saying I agree with them but they are entitled to their opinion ) but they should be taking them up with officials, not with individual businesses who are operating within the parameters of the law. They sound like they have too much time on their hands.

[Josiegirl]

It sounds like this person has to find out for himself that you're a legitimate home provider, so let his councilman find out and tell him you're within the law. It certainly isn't going to give him peace of mind if it comes from you.

Your response was wonderfully professional! If you've got all your ducks in a row, it shouldn't be a problem anyways. I don't know why some people come down so hard on legally run daycare but then you've got some with hoards of kids, running wild, and you don't hear of anyone checking them out or questioning if they're legal. I did like the one response about being a good neighbor.

Try not to let it stress you out. Sounds like you're doing just fine! Just Sounds like you have a major pot-stirrer within your neighborhood.

[DaveA]

Like the others have said- do what you need to so you are sure you are in compliance with local rules, then ignore the nosy SOB.

[NightOwl]

Your response was fantastic! Very well thought out and professional. Has anyone responded to your comment?

[Pestle]

Yes--the "I'm an expert in human services and I know you have to have proof of certification" person calmed down and got a little apologetic. I took screenshots of all of it, and I'm just going to leave it alone and see what happens.

BLECH!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You handled it so well. Good for you. Glad the rude man calmed down a bit. YIKES.

[Pestle]

Thanks, all! The licensing office says I'm just fine. They were super-friendly. The city council member says Mr. Grouch didn't write her; he came up to her at a picnic, and she told him she'd need something written if he was making a complaint. So there you go.

[Thriftylady]

Thanks, all! The licensing office says I'm just fine. They were super-friendly. The city council member says Mr. Grouch didn't write her; he came up to her at a picnic, and she told him she'd need something written if he was making a complaint. So there you go.

Funny how when something requires a little work like putting it in writing someone won't do it. Of course maybe he fears putting it in writing because he knows it isn't true.

[Pestle]

So, I had my first licensing inspection yesterday (Thursday) and I've got the packet to work through--very encouraging! She was kind and praised my space and my preparedness, and confirmed that everything I'm doing is correct (except that I've got to spring for hard-wired smoke detectors and get an illuminated exit sign installed, too ).

But on Sunday, I posted an ad on Nextdoor again. On Monday, while I was outside with the kids, I got a call on my cell phone from the city permitting inspector. He said, "Ma'am, are you aware you have to have a permit for the kind of operation you're running?"

Good grief. It must've been the same neighbor, because, as the treasurer of the homeowner's association, he's got my cell number (it's not listed in any of my ads). So I said, "I guess you've heard from John Smith, then. He doesn't want me here. He's also reported me to the city council." The permitting inspector asked some questions, then said, "Okay, you don't need a permit. What's the name of the man you said is reporting you?" and repeated it back to me--I guess he made a note of it.

The frustrating thing is that this neighbor clearly isn't giving up. All I need is for him to make something up about me. I'm still going to ignore all contact from him, but I told the licensing agent about it, too, and her boss already has an email from back when the city council member was in touch with me.

[Indoorvoice]

Wow it sounds like your neighbor needs some hobbies. My next door neighbors don't like my daycare either but all they do is give us dirty looks when we're outside!

[Blackcat31]

So, I had my first licensing inspection yesterday (Thursday) and I've got the packet to work through--very encouraging! She was kind and praised my space and my preparedness, and confirmed that everything I'm doing is correct (except that I've got to spring for hard-wired smoke detectors and get an illuminated exit sign installed, too ).

But on Sunday, I posted an ad on Nextdoor again. On Monday, while I was outside with the kids, I got a call on my cell phone from the city permitting inspector. He said, "Ma'am, are you aware you have to have a permit for the kind of operation you're running?"

Good grief. It must've been the same neighbor, because, as the treasurer of the homeowner's association, he's got my cell number (it's not listed in any of my ads). So I said, "I guess you've heard from John Smith, then. He doesn't want me here. He's also reported me to the city council." The permitting inspector asked some questions, then said, "Okay, you don't need a permit. What's the name of the man you said is reporting you?" and repeated it back to me--I guess he made a note of it.

The frustrating thing is that this neighbor clearly isn't giving up. All I need is for him to make something up about me. I'm still going to ignore all contact from him, but I told the licensing agent about it, too, and her boss already has an email from back when the city council member was in touch with me.

You can notify the police. What this neighbor is doing is harassment and despite his feelings about whether or not you are legally illegally operating according to the city is NOT his call nor does he have the authority to continue harassing you about this.

Because you provide care for young children, I am betting the police will take this seriously and at the very least go talk to him and tell him he can file a complaint with the proper agencies, let them deal with it and leave out ANY contact with you.

Vigilante neighbors like to make a lot of "noise" but once the police are called into the mix, they will usually back off....

....and if not, you have the police report as evidence should you need to take even further action and file an order for him to stay away from you, your business, your ads, and ANY agency or person that has ties to you and your business.

When it starts to have an impact on your ability to make a living and support your family, he has no right to cause you any losses and CAN be held legally liable for them should he not heed the police or a no contact order.

I'm sorry you are dealing with such a crappy neighbor! They are the worst! I have one in my daycare neighborhood too and am thankful every day that my home is in the woods where the only annoying neighbors I have are skunks and porcupines.

[Josiegirl]

Ugh, just when you probably thought he'd given up.
How close does he live from you? Has he ever mentioned his problem with you having a family daycare? Doesn't like kids? Traffic? Noise? Did you talk with him in person about all of this? You'd think he'd leave it alone now.

[Pestle]

Ugh, just when you probably thought he'd given up.
How close does he live from you? Has he ever mentioned his problem with you having a family daycare? Doesn't like kids? Traffic? Noise? Did you talk with him in person about all of this? You'd think he'd leave it alone now.

He lives one street and several houses over. If he walks a block, he can see into my yard.

Traffic is a non-issue. I'm the second street in the neighborhood and have plenty of parking in the driveway.

Noise? Well, there's a school playground between his house and mine, so if he think's I'm adding any noise he's got no leg to stand on.

Blackcat, I'm going to wait and see if he reaches out to me again. It's possible that the permitting inspector was just now getting around to a complaint filed back this summer--it was just awfully suspicious that the call came first thing in the morning after I posted another ad on the networking site this guy was already harassing me on.

[Cat Herder]

What does this guy do for a living? I have some free time coming up this weekend.

[Hunni Bee]

He lives one street and several houses over. If he walks a block, he can see into my yard.

Traffic is a non-issue. I'm the second street in the neighborhood and have plenty of parking in the driveway.

Noise? Well, there's a school playground between his house and mine, so if he think's I'm adding any noise he's got no leg to stand on.

Blackcat, I'm going to wait and see if he reaches out to me again. It's possible that the permitting inspector was just now getting around to a complaint filed back this summer--it was just awfully suspicious that the call came first thing in the morning after I posted another ad on the networking site this guy was already harassing me on.

Are you sure that wasn't him posing as some some sort of city official? Because I'd think that if it was, they'd be able to pull your records and see whether or not you had/needed a permit or not. Plus, they would've contacted you on the phone number you listed with your paperwork, unless it was your cell number.

Seems fishy. I'd do as Blackcat suggested. :dislike: