So I requested a meeting

[Second Home]

So I decided to request a meeting with my difficult dcm (& dcd who is not difficult at all but want both there so both hear the same thing). This is the dcm who gets mad if I charge late fees , the money order weird stuff ,dope & drop, lying, not letting me know her child will not be getting off the bus, writing in changes to my contract, etc...

There are so many little ( and not so little ) things that I really can not deal with anymore . So I am going to have a talk and discuss the contract and see if she truly understands what she signed .

Every time I have tried to talk with her she gets very defensive , the one time with the no more money orders she was yelling . I am tired of dreading payday to see if she paid the right amount or the date is for Thursday instead of Monday . Or how she says I am just too picky when I enforce the contract and tell her I need the correct amount or a correctly dated check.

I am tired of being in between what she tells dcd and what is told to me . She likes to lie to him but it has backfired on her and he found out . Which puts me in the middle .The latest was when she said that dcg went home sick from school so he did not need to pick her up from daycare . Well ,she gets off the bus and I had to call for pick up when nobody showed at closing . I called dcd since it was his scheduled day to pick up. That went over really well .

I requested the meeting by text so I have a paper trail so to speak.I said that I want to meet with both within the next 2 weeks so let me know what day and time works for them . She replied "I'll try". Dcd replied with "ok , I'll let you know the dates" . And then added that dcm will not take any discussion well and he can see the meeting going downhill fast .

I am at the point where if she pulls dcg I will be fine with it , even if it means losing the cousin who is also in care. Just not worth the stress anymore.

[Thriftylady]

I would respond to the "I'll try" with a notice that if the meeting isn't had, it will mean immediate termination. She has given you more than enough reason. At some point, we hit an end to what we can and will put up with.

[Snowmom]

My goodness that's quite a bit of disrespect.
I don't think I'd be willing to put up with even 1/2 of what you described.

[snbauser]

I would respond to the "I'll try" with a notice that if the meeting isn't had, it will mean immediate termination. She has given you more than enough reason. At some point, we hit an end to what we can and will put up with.

This. I would respond with something along the lines that this meeting is a requirement in order to continue care. She is trying to run your business. The more you let her try to, the more she is going to try. If you want this meeting to be a successful "put your foot down" meeting, then you need to start with the scheduling of it.

[NeedaVaca]

Is she still paying you weird amounts? You have had problems with this family for a really long time, why not just let them go and replace them with a new family? Ongoing issues like this is just not something I am willing to deal with...

[Leigh]

So I decided to request a meeting with my difficult dcm (& dcd who is not difficult at all but want both there so both hear the same thing). This is the dcm who gets mad if I charge late fees , the money order weird stuff ,dope & drop, lying, not letting me know her child will not be getting off the bus, writing in changes to my contract, etc...

There are so many little ( and not so little ) things that I really can not deal with anymore . So I am going to have a talk and discuss the contract and see if she truly understands what she signed .

Every time I have tried to talk with her she gets very defensive , the one time with the no more money orders she was yelling . I am tired of dreading payday to see if she paid the right amount or the date is for Thursday instead of Monday . Or how she says I am just too picky when I enforce the contract and tell her I need the correct amount or a correctly dated check.

I am tired of being in between what she tells dcd and what is told to me . She likes to lie to him but it has backfired on her and he found out . Which puts me in the middle .The latest was when she said that dcg went home sick from school so he did not need to pick her up from daycare . Well ,she gets off the bus and I had to call for pick up when nobody showed at closing . I called dcd since it was his scheduled day to pick up. That went over really well .

I requested the meeting by text so I have a paper trail so to speak.I said that I want to meet with both within the next 2 weeks so let me know what day and time works for them . She replied "I'll try". Dcd replied with "ok , I'll let you know the dates" . And then added that dcm will not take any discussion well and he can see the meeting going downhill fast .

I am at the point where if she pulls dcg I will be fine with it , even if it means losing the cousin who is also in care. Just not worth the stress anymore.

"I'll try"-just take a date from Dad that works and then tell Mom that you've set the meeting for that date.

[JackandJill]

I would follow up with a couple of dates that work for you and make them pick one. I would let them know that if they don't make the meeting care is no longer available!

Good luck!

[Second Home]

Is she still paying you weird amounts? You have had problems with this family for a really long time, why not just let them go and replace them with a new family? Ongoing issues like this is just not something I am willing to deal with...

No more weird amounts , but yes problems for a long time . I truly like dcg and finding replacements is not easy in my area ( I'm rural) , but at this point it is just too much stress and aggravation.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Great advice from the others. Good luck. I pray it goes smoothly.

[laundrymom]

I would follow up with a couple of dates that work for you and make them pick one. I would let them know that if they don't make the meeting care is no longer available!

Good luck!

I am flabbergasted at her rudeness.
I would respond to both of them with three dates/times that are convenient for you.
"I was looking through my appointment calendar and have open this evening at 7, tomorrow at 5:45, tomorrow at 7 or Friday right at 5:30. Which would be best for you?"

Why should you deal with they're stress over the holiday?
Start booking interviews. If they balk at a meeting let them go.

[Second Home]

I have every night next week open . Shouldn't be hard to find a night she is available . . Dcd is all for the meeting.

[laundrymom]

I am flabbergasted at her rudeness.
I would respond to both of them with three dates/times that are convenient for you.
"I was looking through my appointment calendar and have open this evening at 7, tomorrow at 5:45, tomorrow at 7 or Friday right at 5:30. Which would be best for you?"

Why should you deal with they're stress over the holiday?
Start booking interviews. If they balk at a meeting let them go.

Omg. So sorry. Their. Not they're. Ughhhhh. So sorry.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would have responded with something like
"Great. Thanks. I have all next week open so let me know what works best so that both of you can attend together but the meeting needs to take place next week at the latest."

If by next Wednesday she still hasn't committed to a date then I'd contact her back with ...
"You haven't committed to a day or time yet and it's extremely important for it to be this week since this concerns our daycare arrangement and whether or not it can continue. I'm free any evening this week until Friday"

If she conplains, gripes, give you grief etc. Just respond with "I'd gladly address that with you during our meeting. Which day would you like to it up for?" Rinse and repeat. Don't discuss anything with her up until the meeting. If she gets disrespectful well then you can either choose to let it go or just give her her 2 weeks notice.

You can always talk to dad and offer him the opportunity to keep DCK with you on his days if you're open to that. Just make sure to specify that DCM will not be able to pick up or drop off as you prefer no contact with her.