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OP here. This is pretty close to my policy. I don't have a list of skills, but I think it's obvious when kids are ready. And THAT is my frustration with these two boys. They are ready, but need that push. I'm not going to potty train their kids for them when mom and dad will go home and put diapers on them after daycare hours. I would just have to begin the process over and over and over again.
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OP here. Yeah, potty training, in my opinion, is a joint effort. I don't get paid enough to potty train children without help. Some people, maybe they are really good at this. Not me! My focus is on play, letters, numbers, having fun outdoors, teaching my fun little curriculum...it's not like I don't have better things to do.I don't agree. She doesn't HAVE to potty train them. The parent could do this on a weekend and then have them in pull-ups or underwear and plastic pants at daycare until they've been accident free for a set number of days. I've done that here many times with great success. I've also potty trained a child who was more than ready but had a parent who just couldn't commit to doing it.
I'm not trying to sound unwilling, but I have a zillion things going on in my day. Teaching little dck something that should start at home from mom and dad isn't high on my list. I can not be all things to all people.
But I have not had this issue before, and many kids have been potty trained in my care just fine. As a joint venture.Comment
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I don't "potty train" either. I ask parents to start it at home on a weekend or vacation, and I will gladly follow through with the training at daycare. I will not do it unless the parents start it and are actively doing it. To me, there is a difference there.Comment
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I take children not trained and it's not MY job to train them when they are ready to train. As a matter of fact I don't even remember the last time I had a conversation about potty training with a family.
When the child is ready most my families take a long weekend (3-4 days usually) and then come back and tell me their child is trained.
Works great for me. I have an entire section in my handbook about what a child must do before they are ready to train so maybe that helps, I don't know but potty training is not MY job.Comment
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I don't potty train either. I have a child who has been 'potty training" since Sept of last year. You don't potty train a kid that long. I believe in taking a weekend to do it, only if the child is ready.
I have tried to take it on in my own way and there is no follow through at home, so I dropped it. If anything the child started going in their diaper more. I have guidelines that the child must meet first before I will even consider it at my home. I don't want accidents on my couch and whatnot.Comment
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What I was saying is simply that if she's already told the parents the problem and they aren't doing anything different. Then she needs to realize that they aren't going to change their ways. She can either continue being upset by the same thing and continue saying the same thing to the parents over and over again with no results or she can make changes herself such as buy the size diapers that will hold the child's mess, potty train the children herself even though the parents won't, etc. Or if she doesn't want to make changes herself and does not want to continue being irritated by the fact that the parents won't make changes, then she could terminate the child.
'and then have them in pull-ups or underwear and plastic pants at daycare until they've been accident free for a set number of days.' ~EntropyControlSpecialist
That is potty training. That is you, the daycare provider potty training the child while at daycare. You have them in pull-ups or underwear and plastic pants and remind the child to go to the toilet and not to mess in their pants. That is what I meant when I said that if she takes children who aren't potty trained, she needs to be willing to potty train them while they are in daycare.Comment
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Pull Ups
I don't have this in my contract but thinking its a good idea to add in, is children who have reached 2 1/2 (or sooner if parents choose) need to be sent in pull ups not diapers. That way you can set them on the potty. I find by this age they are getting to big for a change table. The Parents need to do the training but we need to be at least setting them on the potty. pull ups or huggies little movers pull ons (I ask for huggies brand as they have easy open sides. I hate the pampers trainers). Then just set them on the potty before going outside, before eating, after eating etc. easiest way to do it. or when ever your big kids have potty breaks. I let my younger ones sit for a good 5 or so minutes after lunch and they both started pooping in the potty at that time and stopped pooping their pants. But that was the time they tend to poop their pants normally at nap which is after lunch.
children have to go 2 weeks without an accident to be aloud in underwear and must have pull ups for nap until they no longer have accidents while sleeping.
Potty training is my most hated parenting responsibility as its one that can be very very frustrating and time consuming so I will not take the responsibility to train other peoples kids. Setting them on the potty is all I do. can't move past that until they start telling you that they need to go which I have found 2yr olds don't typically do. sometime when they reach 3 I find they start to let you know and then they just get it and can start doing it themselves. you can't rush potty training they have to get it on their time but they can't get if they are not at least doing the basics (sitting on the potty = figuring it out) I do not use little potties we sit on the big one with a child seat.Comment
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I have always recommended potty training "boot camp" where parents buckle down and stay home for 3-4 days to really get the training started and in years past it worked 99% of the time. Child would come in trained (or very close to it). These days though I find parents look at you like you have 2 heads if you even suggest they stay home for a weekend much less any longer and their "methods" of potty training mean a child is in pull ups and having accidents for months. :confused:Comment
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My policy is for parents to START training at home - this means a serious start, not just an occasional trip to the potty. They come in here wearing pull ups until I have determined they are ready to be in underwear. Has worked just fine for me for many years, until recently. I never had as many lazy parents as I have seen in recent years.Comment
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age expectations?
seeing lots of comments about parents being lazy with potty training. I have to question what age is everyone expecting these young children to be potty trained? I question this as I know people tend to think kids should be potty trained in my opinion before they are truly ready. Like if the child barely talks and doesn't communicate what he needs or wants yet with words he can't be expected to be potty trained in my opinion. I feel 3 3.5 is when most are ready and some are earlier but when pushed to early of the ones needing more time its going to back fire. When ever I read about 18month olds being potty trained I think the parents are crazy as I wouldn't even be thinking about it at that point.Comment
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I just got notice from a mom who wanted me to start training her (young) 2 year old. I told her no. She gave me two weeks. I'm just not going there. The kid isn't ready and is already an emotional basket case. The kid's brother had several blockages from being pushed to train from age 2 until about 2 months ago (when he finally started using the toilet just shy of 5).
Average is 3 for girls, 3.5 for boys. I've read that training before 3 isn't wise because it can cause hardening of the bladder walls to take away uninhibited elimination before that age (bedwetting, accidents). I just don't go there. If I am to participate in training, I don't do it until I feel the kid is ready. My own child trained at 3.5. It was as easy as handing him a pair of underwear and telling him that we didn't have any more diapers. NO accidents. He was ready. THAT'S the way to train, IMO.Comment
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In my DC the kids who trained early had the most issues. They weren't ready to train but the parents were ready to be done with diapers
I have one teacher's kid who thankfully isn't here over the summer, but I was *this close* to giving notice. He just turned 3 in December and he's been "training" ever since. He also has some clear delays so it's actually like he's a year (or more) younger than he is. The only reason he doesn't have accidents here is because we are constantly bringing him to the bathroom. Where we have to watch him like a hawk so he doesn't get in to things...
Mom is in denial but diapers are the least of her issues.
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Yesterday at pickup, this same mom lost it on her 2 year old. She had pooped her diaper right before mom got here (I was just finishing the change), and got yelled at for not telling me to take her to the potty! She just turned TWO! She doesn't have ANY control of elimination yet. She doesn't have any of the skills needed to potty train, and she doesn't even know what it's about. I'm still upset over her kid getting yelled at for doing something she has no control over. Truth is, I wouldn't have taken her to the potty if she had come up to me and said "excuse me, Ms. Leigh, but I feel the urge to defecate, could you please direct me to the nearest restroom facility?"
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Oh wow that is so sad. That lady can just clear her calendar for the next 4 years cause she just signed up for extended withholding, constipation, pee accidents due to the blockage, and a child fraught with anxiety. Good luck lady! Sad.Comment
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