Need Advice

[Unregistered]

I have a dcb that is quite a handful to say the least - he is very trying and hard but I am working with him - he must get everything no matter what because he doesn't take no or disapline at all- but what I am asking for advice for is this - two times now I have caught him with his pants down and his hand on his erect penis - he is 4- I told the dad and he acted like it was something he would never do . I asked him to please talk to him about it - I talked to him and explained that we should not do that kind of thing away from home and about not letting people touch your privates - wel today I walk in room to find him with his pants around his knees and his penis in his hand and he's watching a movie - he says he wants a ginormous penis like his dad's - I explain again I am at a loss on how to proceed - I want to send both parents a text becuz some how I feel maybe the dad didn't say anything to him nor his wife - I asked the dcb - now what did your dad say about this last time ? He said he didn't -
Prior to the first time I was changing another dcb diaper and he proceeds to pull his pants down to see if his is bigger - he is 4 years old !
He tends to size other kids up when he meets them - to see if he is bigger as in height - I talked to him after that about his privates and not showing people and ugh I just about threw up walking
in there today - what shall I do - I'm not signed in I am a lisensed caregiver

[Josiegirl]

I think I'd tell the parents he's on probation as of right now(2 week notice if they poo poo it all), If he's not showing any signs of stopping or dcps aren't supportive in this with you, he'd be out the door. Too risky for me.

Ya know, thinking about it I think I'd be very firm with dcps and tell them it's just too much liability for you to have him doing it at your house and if you see him even doing it 1 more time, you'll call them to come pick up and services are termed immediately.

[Thriftylady]

I would send both parents a text and have a letter written that if it happens again at daycare, they will be called to pick him up for an immediate term with no refunds. 4 yrs old is old enough to understand that some things are only done in some places. I would rather term one than have several other parents pull due to it.

[childcaremom]

I wouldn't wait for it to happen again. I think I remember another thread where something like this happened and there was a lot of issues with it. I would term at pick up tonight refund any fees and be done with it.

[Josiegirl]

Are you by any chance still within a trial time period?

[Unregistered]

I have been watching him since Jan - he is going to two days a week next week - but I also watch his sibling and I need the money as I only have one other part time right now - I am hoping I get new children soon - I have had only calls for infants and I can't do small babies right now so I jut hope I get calls for a toddler or older soon -

[e.j.]

If it were me and I couldn't afford to term, I'd probably email my licensor asap and ask for her input. That way, she'd not only be made aware of the situation in case the parents tried to report me for abuse at a later date, but I'd also have a written record that states what happened and when, how I've handled the situation so far, how the parents responded and what the licensor suggested I do going forward.

I would also contact his mother to discuss the issue to see if she took my concerns more seriously than dcd seemed to take them. I'd also keep close tabs on the boy and not leave him in a room alone to watch movies. He'd be within eyesight the entire time he was with me.

[Ariana]

If I could not term I would also call licensing and ask them about procedures. I would document everything and I would let the parents know that this behavior has to stop immediately. Let them know that a child doing this is a liability and that they could potentially be terminated if the behavior is not nipped in the bud. Come up with a behavioral plan of action and give a copy to the parents. Some parents may just think this is "boys being boys" and may not understand the liability issue with this behavior so really drive it home for them to give them a wake up call.

In the meantime look for other kids because nothing is likely going to change