Spinoff - Parents Leave Then Want to Come Back

[spud912]

No, because I don't term at the drop of the hat as it seems a lot here do. I would never term a good family. All of the families I termed we either manipulators and/or liars. A few have asked to be taken back and I say no.

I'm not one to term lightly, but it is possible to take back a child, especially if the reasons were similar to mine (child is too young to balance in a prek atmosphere but eventually ages into it).

[Josiegirl]

Something similar to BC happened to me. I took on a 9 mo sibling but she was extremely needy and during the 2 week trial I knew it wasn't working out at all! She always wanted to be picked up, slept 45 minutes the first day and never at all after that. I was so stressed out. I told dcps it just was not working out.
So they took her to a center, 4 months later said her sleeping was very good, etc. So I was very glad they asked me again and I chanced it. What a world of difference in that child! That was over 2 yrs. ago and I still have her.
All the others that I've termed, no way at all would I have accepted them back. And the ones that decided to leave on their own and wanting to come back, I never took them back either. If I wasn't meeting their needs the first time around, I'm sure nothing much had changed.

[Unregistered]

I'm not one to term lightly, but it is possible to take back a child, especially if the reasons were similar to mine (child is too young to balance in a prek atmosphere but eventually ages into it).

I don't think you should have taken the child to begin with. If the situation was reversed, you took the child but the parents felt the child was too young after being there, you wouldn't like it. Like I said, I don't do things the way a lot of posters do here.

[Unregistered]

I like the original question. In my mind it runs like this:

Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!

2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----

[sharlan]

I like the original question. In my mind it runs like this:

Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!

2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----

I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.

I termed a family 30 years ago because they had a new baby. I didn't want a newborn infant. SIDS has always worried me. When the baby was 6 mos old, they called and asked if they could come back yet. That baby turned 30 last week.

[spud912]

I don't think you should have taken the child to begin with. If the situation was reversed, you took the child but the parents felt the child was too young after being there, you wouldn't like it. Like I said, I don't do things the way a lot of posters do here.

Except that all parents know that I have a 2 week trial period. Every parent should know there's a possibility things might not work out. And if it did work out, I would have been able to keep a family I had for 2 years. Either way there were no hard feelings....obviously because they are back . It was a win/win for all parties involved and I don't think any of us would have done thinks differently.

[daycarediva]

It happened to me.

About three years ago I termed a family with a five-month-old baby. I waffled back-and-forth for a long time before finally deciding to terminate care. NOT because they were a bad family (they were actually very very good) but because I just didn't want a baby in care full-time. I hadn't had a baby in a long time and don't even know why I enrolled the baby in the first place....

Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.

About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.

Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.

The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back. ::

So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.

Same thing happened to me- I termed my high needs screamer baby. This child is the reason I will never accept another infant, ever.

Fast forward over a year, dcm responded to my ad and enrolled dcb again. worked out great!

[DaveA]

I've had a couple families move for work over the years that I would reenroll in a heartbeat. The rest of my former DCFs should stay just that......FORMER DCFs

[Unregistered]

I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
.

Right!? Just as no provider wants to take back someone who left in a huff.

[AmyKidsCo]

I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.

Yup, that was my thought. All these families who leave in a huff for what they think will be greener pastures, realize how good they had it and want to come back, then get mad when they can't. It made me wonder how they'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

[Shawn]

That's crazy. I have terminated a number of families mostly those who voided their contract agreements, but I never wanted them back.

Now I have experienced those who wanted to come back. A recent dcd who gave notice on a Wednesday that his children's last day will be that Friday, then at pick up on Friday he asked could the kids continue to come. I told him that I have already contacted families from my waiting list to come in for an interview to fill his spots.

I also have had parents who I terminated or they left because they felt I wasn't doing something wrong, try so hard to come back. Even to the point of stalking me. On Facebook, at Walmart, or just driving by my house. Thankfully, I just moved. And it has died down.

[Shawn]

Same thing happened to me- I termed my high needs screamer baby. This child is the reason I will never accept another infant, ever.

Fast forward over a year, dcm responded to my ad and enrolled dcb again. worked out great!

I too had to terminate an 18 month old bitter. His mom kept me informed on his progress. He came back when he was 3 years old. He stayed until entering kindergarten.

I had an infant who screamed. He was the final straw, I nolonger accept infants.